My parent will not allow me to marry, is it haram?
I'm 21 years old, and I live with my parents in the United states. I've been talking to this guy, M, who lives in iraq for a year now. I've told my parents about him, and told them I really wanted to marry him. M wanted to come here and ask for my hand but since he lives in iraq it's hard for him to come to the United states. My parents will not allow me to go meet him in any arab country because they are scared of me getting into danger. M and I decided to get married in a few months but my parents don't agree, they think he might be using me because his not from the United states. Also they explained to me that I have no life and need to finish school before being married. M is such a good Muslim man. My parents are not so much practicing islam like the should be. And I believe M will make me a better person in every way possible. But my parents still deny me of him no matter what. I'm aiming towards marry him with my brother giving me away. Is this acceptable?
sabrinasarup
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If your father is alive... then he is your Wali (guardian).
Your brother can only give you away with your father permission to represent him.
Try to convince your father if you think this man is a good man for you.
All the best.
Your young still got us on your education!! He sounds like he just gonnna use you for USA visa.
Dear sister,
I suggest you to focus on your studies as you are still very young , give more time to asses him coz nowadays you just can't trust anybody without even meeting. There are 99percent chances that he wants to come to USA thru you. I may be wrong but please don't go against your parents, as I did and now I'm in a thick soup. Our parents are wiser than us, they have seen so many ups n downs in their lives so trust them and may Allah ease your life .
Sister u are so LUCKY that ur perents are allowing u to finish ur studies. Where i live so many girls wish and beg their perents to let them finish thier studies then marry but no perents listen to thier doughters. They either engaged or marry them at 16/17 or 18. They dont wait any longer then 18 years. Which makes these girls to quit thier studies. Ur lucky to have this chance to finish ur studies and marry in a mature age.
Secondly, ur perents are right.u shold not belive this man at all since its a long distance relishionship. U CAN NOT tell how a person's persnolity and charector is until u live with them. Because u 2 live a long distance u cant see him in person, u will only see wht tht guy is showing u. Whts he showing could be just to impress u and to make u love him. He could be a complite apposite to wht ur discribing. from my personal experince i would say Never ever belive a man's words until he truns those words in to action. They lie they break thier promises they dont care and most men are selfish and crul. So be very carefull of wht ur doing. Ur putting urself and ur life in risk for this guy.
Assalamo walikum sister
Its not easy for your parents and you to be in a same place when it comes to marriage. But you have to understand whatever the reason your parents saying "no" they don't say it without coming from their hearts. They see something that you can't see it until you get hurt. Also you have to understand one thing, there is not a single guy in the world that is more important than your parents. Do not disrespect your parents by getting married anyway to him. Its not worth it. Since you parents is still alive, your brother can't be your gardian, unless your parents says he can. When it is the right time, inshallah Allah will bless you with a pious husband and your parents will like him as well. You are still young and you should finish your degree and build a life for yourself. You live in usa and not everyone get the chance to be in this country and be able to get education, so take it advantage. Marriage should make ppl's life better and happy. But if you don't finish your schooling and he comes from foreign country you both will struggle. And then you won't care if your man is good or not. This is coming for my own life experience, i am advicing you so you don't regrate it later.
Take care and good luck!
Get over it...Talking to a guy? THIS IS HARAM ITSELF..LEARN YOUR DEEN CORRECTLY OR BE CURSED FOR LIFE. ..YOU NEED TO GROW UP FIRST HAVE A HIGH EDUCATION SO YOU CAN BE INDEPENDENT. ...MARRIAGE IS EASY BUT LIVING TOGETHER AND GETTING ALONG IS ONLY COMES DOWN WITH IMAN OR ELSE SHAITAN WILL GET THE BEST OF YOU BOTH...TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU...LOOK AT ALL THE DIVORCES CHEATING SPOUSAL ABUSE?