Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Need advice before marriage



My whole life people have seen me as attractive and what not, I have my health (alhamdulilah) and I'm almost done nursing school.

The problem is I have a scar on top of my private area and you can see the stitches. Honestly I feel depressed and anxious about it all the time and dont know if I have the courage to tell a muslim sister. Allah knows how detached I've been feeling after this and my life feels to have come to a halt. I feel humiliated and shamed. I dont know if someone gave me the evil eye or what, but HOW am I suppose to disclose this to a sister before marriage if I ever even try?


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7 Responses »

  1. Salam brother,
    As a sister I can tell you it is of no consequence whether you have a scar or not. Marriage is not all about sex. Although it is quite nice to be physically attracted to one's spouse, it is not a requirement. What is required for marriage is good character, good attitude, good deen, and good temper. If you are worried that your wife-to-be will not love you because of a scar, then be determined to make her love you for how positive, just, and giving you are to her on a daily basis. Tell her you love her every day and SHOW her that you love her through your actions. Help her whenever she needs help. Spend as much time with her as possible. Joke with her, be her best friend. Be there for her when she is sad, mad, happy, and all those complex in-between emotions. And always encourage eachother to pray, go masjid, fast, ect. These are the things that will make her fall in love with you. After all this, it would take a really crazy woman to still hate you for a simple medical scar.

  2. Consult skin doctors, seek advise from good doctors. thanks

  3. My bro. A muslim women is going to love you for who you are...In Islam there is etiquettes in everything..learn this.....When we have Intercourse there is only one way..we don't go into animal mode or devilish moDE. ..We should be at a level that are IMAN tells us that Allah is watching us and we are covered at all times....because the angels are writing are actions and we are being recorded.I hav e seen some pious men shower with a lungi or cloth wrapped around there waste.And Alim said why do you need sex?for what..Yes to procreate RI g pious children I to this see there is a higher level of understanding .it's not about fat skinny old deformed etc......Just thank Allah for giving yout the gift of IMAN. . Ow it's upto us to take care of it and polish it.

  4. Mohammad, why do you worry? This is nothing. When you marry a lucky woman one day, the last thing on her mind will be some scar on your pelvic area. You attach far too much importance to the physical appearance. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some females have stretchmarks prior to marriage. Do you think the man who loves them will do care about that? Many females go through C-section and most get stretchmarks due to pregnancy. Will you love your wife less? Of course now. You will love her scars.

    Embrace your scars. Be a loving husband and you will do fine. If the scars bother you a lot, there is laser etc to fade it. I have prominent scarring due to old surgery and never have I wondered, what my husband might think. When you love somebody and are are intimate none of that matters.

    • Thank you for your reply. I'm just really stressing over the part where you have to disclose this information before marriage

  5. Probably you pay too much attention to what people may think about you wrote people found you attractive and what not.......if that is the case, this would be the real problematic ...not the scar...!!!

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