Reverting to Islam, can I go against my father’s wishes?
bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim,
I was born into a Hindu family in India. However, since the age of 14 I started having an affinity towards Islam. This was noticed by my teachers in my high school and they gave me a hard time and even called my parents to the school to discuss the issue, they thought I perhaps have a Muslim boyfriend(which I did NOT) which is why the attraction to Islam.
Anyways, that all passed and my parents, though quite secular(my mother had picture of Kaaba Sharif in her bedroom), were not too pleased with my affinity to Islam. Especially my father was quite displeased and he tried to tell me that God is one and you have your own faith(Hinduism)to pursue God. Believing the fact that there is one God for all of humanity I gave up on the idea of trying to learn about Islam. Then I came to the United States in 2008 to pursue my undergrad education and made many friends, most of them were Muslims, of different countries including India, Syria, Lebanon, Egypt etc. My parents and friends back home in India could not help but notice that somehow I find Muslims or Muslims find me, but in the end they make up majority of my social circle.
I also had the fortune of knowing a very special man, someone who I could never be more than just friends with even though he wanted to marry me(if I reverted to Islam), because of the fact that he was Muslim and I wasn't and his folks were completely against this alliance. Oh well,that's a whole another story. But he is very important here because in the time that we spent together I came to learn so much about Islam, knowing his way of life made me realise how important Islam was to him when so many of the people- even some Muslims after coming to America- start drinking, he never touched alcohol, only ate halal meat(which meant he was mostly vegetarian when we ate out), prayed 5 times and basically was a good Muslim. I had never seen such sincerity towards religion before and I was even more attracted to Islam.
He gave me a copy of the Quran, which I started reading. My calling towards Islam grew stronger with each page that I read, and I told my parents about it. But my father was reminded of my high school incident and he feared that I would convert to Islam and it would cause him social humiliation if his side of the family came to know of it. So he told me you can read the Quran for scholarly purposes only but dont ever think of converting or he would disown me.
I know the Quran gives so much emphasis on respecting ones parents. Then what should I do in this case? I feel miserable, I feel like I will never be on the path to Allah if I dont convert to Islam. I feel like I need Islam in my life, to formally be a part of the religion of submission to Allah's will. But then is it ok to go against my father in order to do so? Would that be against Allah's will if I disobeyed my father and caused him humiliation? Please help me, it has now been 6 years since I first became interested in Islam. Would it be acceptable to Allah if I reverted to Islam against my father's wishes?
Alhamdulillah,
-N
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N
Assalamu Alaykum.
Do you believe that Allah is the one true God, without partners or equals? Do believe that Mohammad is His final messenger to the world?
If so, then you are honoring your father by becoming a Muslim, even though he may not know it.
As far as your father's beliefs, check out Surat Al-Kāfirūn:
Say, "O disbelievers,
I do not worship what you worship.
Nor are you worshippers of what I worship.
Nor will I be a worshipper of what you worship.
Nor will you be worshippers of what I worship.
For you is your religion, and for me is my religion."
Only Allah can choose your father. You can be a good example, but leave it in his hands.
Dear Sister,
Yes Sister, it would be wholly acceptable to Allah if you accepted Islam even if it goes against your father's wishes. Afterall, this is our purpose in life - to worship Allah. At the same time, continue being a good and dutiful daughter, just taking care to put the commands of Allah first. We are all tested in life - and this is your test as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There is no obedience to a created being if it involves disobedience of the Creator.” (reported by Ahmad, 1041; a saheeh hadeeth) The Creator is Allah, and we are His creation. So it is very simple, obey your parents unless it goes against the law of Allah.
***
Your story reminds me of the great Prophet of Allah, Ibrahim(as)
Ibrahim(as) believed in Allah, but he was born into a family of idol worshippers. His father Azaar was a well know idol maker and Ibrahim feared for him. He loved his father so invited him to Islam, but his father rejected and not only this, but threatened him too. Despite this, Ibrahim(as) was steadfast in his belief and worship of Allah. Please read this extract taken from http://www.islamicity.com/mosque/ibrahim.htm:
"A new life started for Ibrahim. His mission now was to call his people to the Truth. He would start with his father who was the closest person to him, and whom he loved so much. He said to him in the softest and kindest voice: "O father! Why do you worship that which doesn't hear, doesn't see, and cannot avail you in anything? O father, I have got knowledge which you have not, so follow me. I will guide you to a straight path." His father replied angrily: "Do you reject my gods, O Ibrahim? If you don't stop I will stone you. Get away from me before I punish you." Ibrahim said: "Peace be on you! I will ask forgiveness of my Lord for you.""
So Ibrahim(as) had to go against his father's wishes, because what his father wanted him to do went completely against Allah. And Allah(swt) gave him the title of 'khalil-ul-Allah', meaning the intimate friend of Allah. And Allah says in Surah Nisa, Ayah 125: "For Allah did take Ibrahim for (an intimate) friend."
Allah(swt) also says of Ibrahim(as) in the Quran in Surah 16, Ayahs 120-123: "Abraham was indeed a model, devoutly obedient to Allah, (and) true in Faith, and he joined not gods with Allah. He showed his gratitude for the favours of Allah, who chose him, and guided him to a Straight Way. And We gave him Good in this world, and he will be, in the Hereafter, in the ranks of the Righteous. So We have taught thee the inspired (Message), "Follow the ways of Abraham the True in Faith, and he joined not gods with Allah."
***
So, sister, make this sacrifice, put Allah first and HE will make it easy for you and very fruitful for you in this life and the next, aameen.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
parents approval is not required to convert to islam, if you believe in islam then you can easily convert...
Sister there are so many hadiths of our beloved prophet (PBUH) about parents and son/daughter's responsibility towards them, however if they come between you and the creator then do not listen to them (as in do not do what they say). However, you still have to respect and care for your parents. The only matter you have to against them is of worshiping the creator. In all other matters you have to listen to them so as long it is not anything that which displeases Allah.
SisterZ has said things in detail.
Sister, Salamu'alaiki
It is great that you have discovered the truth. Be happy that Allah has chosen you to be guided, among those millions who are misguided. There are many examples in the lifetime of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad Peace and Blessings be upon him. Among these examples of righteous believers is the great Sahaabi Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) who used to honour his mother. When he became Muslim, his mother refused to eat or drink until he recanted his faith, but he refused to do so and remained steadfast in Islam. His mother found no benefit in her “hunger strike” so she went back to eating and drinking. It is narrated that he (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “O mother, you know by Allaah that if you had one hundred souls and each soul departed one by one, I would not give up this religion of mine for anything. If you wish, then eat, and if you wish, then do not eat.” So she ate.
See: Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/429
You should make this sacrifice, in order to earn a better reward with Allah in the Hereafter. Revert to Islam and get married to the man you mentioned. He seems to be righteous because he has displayed a good picture of himself, as do the righteous Muslims. Once you get married to him, insha Allah, you can move in with him, even if your parents disown you.
But yes, your should first try to call your parents to Islam. Tell them that it is the Only Way that leads to the Pleasure of The Only God. They know that God is One (as you mentioned). They just need to be convinced that it is the One Muslims Worship.
Allah Has Guided you, may He Accept you
Aameen
Wassalamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem