I want to study and my boyfriend’s family want us to marry
I'm 18, I've known my boyfriend for 5 years but we starting dating 2 years ago. Everything was fine until his parents started pressuring me and him to do nikah.
I'm in college and inshallah want to go to university. He is in full time work. We have nowhere to live but his parents said, we could live with them till we sort ourselves out.
We are both 18 and we do love each other, he wants to marry me but I don't know if it is the right time. I know we are sinning by seeing each other, but... is marriage the best option? I don't know.
- hennagreen
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Assalamu alaikum Warahmathallahi Wabarakathuhu,
I dont see why it will be a problem sis! I've seen so many sisters marry and go to uni..and i myself plan to do the same thing inshallah. I know a sister at college who was also in haram relationship, her boyfriend was a muslim and she learned about islam through him, and at the age of 16, she married him and she's doing her a-levels atm.
You're already commiting a lot of sin by being in a haram relationship, and this is the exact reason why our prophet encouraged us to marry early for those who can afford it. Alhamtillah, his parents are even willing to let you both live with them! May be you fear that you wont get along with the in-laws? sis, this is nothing compared to the sin of dating.
May Allah(swt) help to ease any difficulties.
Your sister in Islam.
I totally agree with sister SLMuslimah. To put it bluntly you are in a sinful relationship, yet you do not worry about that but instead worry about marriage which is halal and encouraged.
If you want to be with this guy then marry him. If you do not wish to marry him then do not date him.
Good luck
Yes, exactly, that struck me too. Hennagreen, you say you were committing sins but "everything was fine." You need to think about your priorities. As Hafsa said, if you don't want to marry the guy that's up to you, but then stop dating him.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I just want to also add that if you are not sure whether you want to marry him or not seek Allahs guidance and do the Istakhaarah dua and salat regularly. Of course ensure that all contact with him is within islamic boundaries from now on. Also I will reiterate what sis hafsa and bro wael said: "If you do not wish to marry him then do not date him."
Here is a link with info on istakhaarah, please see the links at the top of page for more on istakhaarah.
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/salat-al-istikhara-the-guidance-prayer/istikhara-in-the-light-of-the-sunnah/
Salaam sister hennagreen.
I agree with SL muslimah and what his parents are proposing.
If you both want to marry each other and you think you are both right for each other then you should definietly do your nikah. If not then you would need to end this relationship, but it seems from your post that Alhumdulilah you are both serious about one another 🙂
Its perfectly normal to be nervous about it or to not feel ready. I have relatives who were in the same situation as you, they decided to do their nikah (both are young MashaAllah) and are very happy together Alhumdulilah. Originally they were not living together all the time, but after marriage you tend to want to. Although correct me if I'm wrong editors, you dont have to live together straight after nikah?
Both of you should make tawbah for the dating, and ask Allah to bless your marriage.
I pray that Allah swt blesses you both and gives you both a happy marriage.
Ameen
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
x
I just wanted to add this and I hope it somehow helps as the editors have basically given the best advice already Alhamdulilah....
Umm their parents are even willing to offer you a place to stay, so you can be with your loved one...
you probably dont know this, but you should know how many people would ''kill'' (methaphore) to actually have a family to like them, have a place with that family to stay and with the person you love and at the same time continue with your life !
It seems to me that Allah is giving you a gift, but you are not looking at it the right way, sister in life we get certain chances that you are NOT supposed to miss, and I have a gut feeling this is one of them...
but as the editors said before, listen to your heart and do istagaraah, surely Allah is the best guidance there is.
Alhamdulilah,.
Raja