Can I marry a married woman?
I am 28 year old man. I am disabled. I cannot walk. I am in love with a older women. She is 42 years old, she is married, she is not divorced. Her husband does not care about her, always busy at work. when she is sick, there is no one to take care of her, she is always left alone in her house, she is suffering from nausea and must go to hospital every week. She is suffering very much. Ireally feel crying, when I listen to her problems. One day she was very weak, her blood pressure gone down, she fainted in the front of the hospital, her husband come home at night and just go to sleep, he do not ask whether she eat or not, I cried, when I listened to her pains.
I really like this woman, she is very good honest, kind, caring and loving, she also like me, I showed her true care, true affection. I gave her true happiness. I treated her with kindness and courtesy. her health is good because of me her health improved, she is healthy again, she is very happy with me, she likes me very much, I want to live with woman. My parents agreed because she is a good women, my family also accept this women.
Please tell me, can I marry this women without the active husband divorce, she wants to take divorce but she is afraid her active husband will harm her because her husband is a reputed and strong in politics, she is afraid to take divorce.
Please help me; what should I do?.
Cleanthoughts
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Salam, My brother how can you marry her and she have to husbands. Would u allowed her to sneak back in the house with him after shes your wife?
She can divorce him if he dont fulfile her needs, as you said he dont care about her health thats one of her needs. she could go to a shaike and he will help her out.
15. The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129). Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.
16. The Prophet said: "Do not beat your wife." He also said: "Do not strike your wife in the face." The expiation for striking one's slave in the face is to set him or her free on the spot, but what expiation is there for striking one's wife? The Prophet condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.
17. Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.
Conclusion
These are only some of the basic duties of the husband in Islam. The state of marriage is part of one's adherence to the Sunna and an exalted state of life indeed. In the words of the Prophet , it permits one to meet Allah "pure and cleansed" (tahiran mutahharan). One's behavior towards one's wife is the measure of the perfection of one's belief as the Prophet said: "The most complete of the believers in his belief is he who perfects his manners, and the best of you in manners are those who act best towards their wives." Marriage must be approached with utmost seriousness, entered with the purest intent, and cultivated religiously as it does not come cheaply and it carries immense reward. The Prophet called it "his way" (al-nikahu sunnati) and "half of religion" and he also said: "Two rak`at (prayer-cycles) of the married person are better than seventy rak`at of the unmarried." He also warned that among the greatest of responsibilities that had been placed upon men is that pertaining to the treatment of their wives.
And may Allah's blessings and peace be upon Muhammad , his Family and all his Companions, and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
GF Hadd
dear Brother
No matter how much your company might be benefitting the woman, you CANNOT marry her. A Muslim woman is only permitted to have ONE husband at any one time.
Also you are not permitted to have any form of relationship with her, physical or non physical, as a freind and confidante or otherwise. Please stay away from her. She is the one who needs to resolve her marriage or dissovle it before she can even think of marry you or considering your propsal.
You are both afraid of her husband becasue he is 'strong in politics' so perhaps he has some influence in your locality and can harm you. BUT you are not afraid of God?? From you letter i cannot gather the nature of your relationship and how far you've gone- but i must stress to you brother that your relationship is haram with her, whatever way you look at it.
Refrain from seeing her until she sorts out her problems- advice her to do this, perhaps through other family members or an imam who can speak to her husband. No matter how bad her husband is, he will appear the innocent party if her liason with you is discovred, this will ultimatly casue her more harm than benefit.
Good luck
As salamu alaykum, cleanthoughts,
This woman is married, she is married, with this I mean she needs to divorce to be able to marry you.
I don´t want to break your dreams, but are you sure this is love? you just talk about how weak she is and how you have helped her, it sounds like you feel compassion for her, due to her health problems and her loneliness, and all her problems, be sure of your feelings before you make any movement, it seems that you have a big heart, be careful, don´t get involved with her for the wrong reasons, anyway, to have any kind of relationship with her is not allowed, and I have to tell you this for sure, you are interfering in a marriage, this is a very bad situation.
Can you tell her to solve her situation first and when she is sure about what she wants to do, she can tell you, this way you can take a decision about what to do yourself.
I understand your feelings but both of you are playing with fire, and if you don´t stop this situation you will get burnt, this is not an appropiate situation. She must clear up her situation, before even speak to you.
Go to the begining and tell her that if she wants to marry you, she has to divorce, there is not short ways for this, she has to tell her husband, first, that she doesn´t want to be with him anymore and she has to go to a lawyer and ask for her rights and duties.
I really encourage you to stop any kind of contact with this lady, stay away from the marriage, this way all the feelings both of you have in the way, will show its real face, she may be in love with her husband still and you are just a nice young loving man with a big heart that has made her life easier. You have given to her what she has been lacking for years, she is crying on your shoulder, you are taking care of her. But you have lost the main point here, she is a married woman that has to honour her husband while being married, and this is not happening, would you like if she does this to you while being married to her? Please don´t let the compassion or the pity for her put veils in your eyes, you need a cold mind in this situation.
Encourage her to be honest to her husband, to herself and to you. Give her the time she needs to clear up the situation. She is old enough to know which are the right decisions to be taken and if she doesn´t want anything serious with you she should let you go, you have the right to have your own family, if she is around she would stop anyone to get close to you.
Stay away from her, repent from interfering in a marriage and ask Allah(swt) for guidance.
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Asalamoalaikum brother,
I suggest you read all the posts above me before making a sound decision about this female. I am sure she is a great and caring person but what I see in this situation is two people having their own kind of problems in their lives and are seeking comfort from one another. I am not doubting you that you do not care for this woman, I am sure you though but sometimes when we are very upset in our lives and people show us care and affection, we may mistaken them for love. However, when that cloud of unhappiness disperses, we than begin to see it as a minor attraction.
Clearly this woman is unhappy with her marriage as her husband is neglecting her emotionally and possibly in other aspects too and she is seeking refuge in your comfort. This is very common and that's why many people tend to have affairs when they are unhappy in their marriages because they try to fill that void that is missing in their lives through someone else.
Your questions asks if you can marry her while she is married and the answer to that is no. She must seek divorce from her husband if she wishes to marry you. She has the right to do so under legitimate circumstances (i.e.: abuse, neglect, husband is an alcoholic or druggie and is not willing to change which is taking a toll on the woman's life, etc..). She can ask for khula if she is extremely unhappy but I sugges if she does decide to take this decision, that she thinks it out thoroughly as divorce is disliked by Allah swt and should be the last resort. Rest assured it has been given to us to use if we are truly unhappy with our husbands so she does have a right to it.
I suggest you both should think over this situtation objectively and then come to a final conclusion. You may drawn to her hearing of her unfortunate situation while at the same time feeling lonliness in your own life and she may drawn to you as her husband is not fulfilling her basic emotional needs. The rest Allah swt knows best.
-Helping Sister
I think we need to stop acting like the non-muslims and adopting their lifestyle. Just because you feel bad for her doesn't mean you islamically have the right to talk to her on the phone. By making things unislamic you are creating more problems for yourself, her, and her husband. She belongs with her husband no matter what the condition is UNTIL they get divorced. Then you can go about pursuing her in an islamic manner. Why you feel it is right to talk to someone else's wife is not making sense to me. If you were to marry her and you two had problems, would you not mind if she started talking about her problems with other men? It's a matter of principle. Please respect marriage. It is a bond made by Allah (swt) for reasons only He knows. Let her work it out and see where all this goes.
NO U DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO MARRY A MARRIED WOMAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAVE WE BEEN SO BRAINWASHED BY THE WEST THAT WE'VE FORGOTTEN OUR
ISLAMIC SHARIAH VALUES ??????!!!!!
GET OVER HER AND MOVE ON AND TRY TO FIND A SINGLE
SISTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nawid, there is no need to shout. Just offer your advice clearly and kindly and that's good enough Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
salam alaykum,
I need advice please, my wife is pregnant, and i said to her if you dont go to GP u will be divoced. after she were about to go but her brother's car has broken down and she couldnt go at all and she told me about it
(Remainder of question deleted by Editor)
Mustafa, Walaykumsalaam,
Yours is a fiqh related matter and so I will advise you to consult with a qualified Imam. If you have any other queries, please log in and submit your question as a separate post.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
my lover, she is married 1 year before and still she cant live with him and it is possibile can i marry a married girl, what are the legal issues to register the marriage.. please help me friends
Kiran, you must keep away from that girl. She must be left alone with her husband. You have no right to interfere between her and her husband, whatever their problem is. If there is something specific you want to discuss, please login and post your question separately with details.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear Bro,
well its clear you cannot wed lock her ,how can you trust a women of such type who has disclosed her husbands carrying or non carrying life to you well she is not to be trusted ,today she has disclosed to you later you might be disclosed to others,ther is a way let her be guided by all mighty we can pray
Looking at gair maharoom with intentions is zina
Who are you to take care of her ?
Do you think you are god ?
Showing the right path as per Islamic law permissible ?
Asalam walekum all,
I came to this site by typing dua to marry a gal who I love and is already married, but discussions over
Here made me write this, if I truly love the gal and don't want to live any more with out her with out my imaan
And with out up setting allah, I can ask anything to allah if its true and Is real, I am asking him please who ever
Reads this please don't think that its a one side love it is from both the sides but it also has to get a yes from
Allah, my eyes pain it is more then 6 months we are not talking please pray for me too, kya pata kiski zubaan se
Nikli hui dua allah sun le, main toh ya uskou manaaounga ya phir uske paas jaounga.
Aap sab zara sochiye kis kaam ka musalman agar apne allah kou razi na kar sake apni dua ke liye.
Please pray for all dushman kou bhi yeh dard naseeb na hou kyun ki iska bojh maut ki taraf ishara karta hai.
Have faith things will work out.