Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Apologising for the hurt

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Salam.

Five months ago, I hurt a girl in my college through my words. The story is the girl used to have a lot of complex with me, sometimes used to get hurt from my beauty, u know ' feeling inferioir" etc , jealous n used to make fun of me too. I always avoided her cause it sounds really uncomfortable that a person having a person hating you just for your beauty and envies you for that.

She's always being liek this for two n i have always tried to avoid her .. always..

One day out of anger i just said to her "look at me, look at you then you should decide who's jealous?". The next day she took the revenge and when looking at me, laughed so bluntly like saying that I just laugh at you always and made fun of my look etc. But deep inside it hurt her cause she's always been feeling inferior and I hit her inferiority. I felt that.

Recently my life is changed, I have turned to good so I decided to apologise to the girl. I went to her and I was presenting the gifts but she refused to take it and said she will take these on last day. I bear it and agreed and took her to walk, and explained to her and said apologise and really apologized with my heart though I was much confused, and even I joined my hands as a good humility. lmao. She just laughed it off and said that she has no problem but on the next day, she was acting so rude and arrogant with me. Even her friends were so rude with me and ignoring me.

She told a friend about me that the person shouldn't expect me to forgive and forget just because she says sorry. I don't accept the apologies easily but if I did I won't respect her apology, I won't lower my integrity for her etc etc . I also talked to her to lets create friendship but she ignored.

On the last day, I again went to her and I was friendly and told her that she promised to take the gifts on last day, she looked at me and arrogantly said " shall I take these or not"? then after a moment she said "well, lets take it". I thought to apologize again but her arrogant behavior didn't give me courage. and gone. But she didn't accept these either cause she didn't take the gifts to her home, she just put these in the class. So its like after I have apologized her, she's been so rude and insultive.

I accept I did a mistake but it happens, we all hurt and err with others. I want to please Allah swt. Since last two years I didn't talk to the girl ever, there's always been a gap between me and her. But I did a mistake I accept it and hurt her only once, .

Not sure she accepted it or not, I think she didn't forgive so would Allah swt forgive me.

Her behavior didn't give me the courage to explain my case point of view easily : ( . I think she's so hurt.

I'm thinking to cut all contacts with her, shall I remove her from my facebook account? Would that be rude? And move on to my life, she to her life. I want to remove her from my life.

Samiya

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2 Responses »

  1. Asalaamualaykum Warahmatullah
    Allah is most forgiving and kind. Infact, Allah is the All Forgiving, you did your duty, it was not your fault in the first place, so why are you upset? I am also like this that is why i am telling you that you need to believe that you have done your duty by asking for forgiveness as you have realised your mistake. Make sincere tauba and have the intention and sincerely act on your intention to not do it again. You need to believe that Allah is All Forgiving so at the end of everything it is between you and Allah and like wise what that girl did and is doing is between her and Allah. Stop regretting like this it will eat you up and you will be miserable. Stop worrying about her and ignore her or greet her with a silent Salaam. Remember, sometimes they become more immature by doing nasty things to you because you ignore them. So be careful but smile even if she snubs you. You dont need them, You need Allah. And Allah is self sufficient. I only reply to post i can relate you and that it why i am telling you that i do understand because i too am like this. I have gotten better at it and sincerely try to be humble and not repeat my errors. If anything, they have made me a better person. May Allah Always keep you under His protection and please also read the Quls for your protection against nazr, humble yourself before Allah and ask him for forgiveness and then finish. Carry on with your life and fill it up with good deeds. And if her friends are rude that their business not yours. May Allah keep you safe and May Allah guide you to let go of regrets and stop worrying about these depressing petty things. Take it from a sister who understands. Keep me in your duaa's
    Ma asalama

  2. w.slam
    thaks or the encouraging reply. I was so tense for one week after this event. alhamdulillah im fine now.
    I concur with your answer completely, deprssing at such things makes me angry , but once you left it all to Allah swt, you are at peace.
    You are in my prayers. Thanks ; )

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