Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to commit suicide because of my masturbation habit

Man saying no, refusing, refuses

My name is (deleted) and I'm from Karachi, Pakistan. As you all know with the title, I have been suffering from this bad habit for the  last 3 years and it is not coming to an end. Although when ramzan comes, I leave it for a month; and after eid I restart my activity. 

I don't know if it is good or bad, but it is not permitted in our religion and I do it almost once a week; due to which I'm getting too much weakness. Yesterday I decided to attempt suicide, but then suddenly an idea came to my mind about asking questions on the internet, and today I'm here. Please help me otherwise I will lose my life!

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16 Responses »

  1. Brother,

    Don't make that mistake. Shaytan will give you the urge to do it again and he will give you that shame feeling after. I too have the same problem for over 17 years now. I tried so many different ways. Don't forget Allah always forgives and if we didn't sin, Allah would replace us with other people who will sin and repent. This is your trial and my trial so we need to never forget to always repent. You can always try after each time you masturbate to donate money so it takes away from your sin and adds more pressure for you to stop.

    Try to get married if you can and if you can't you can try fasting. Try not to be alone and always keep busy like going to the gym or even for a walk whatever you do , shaytan is trying to depress you into taking your own life while Allah with both arms open is welcoming your repentance each and everytime. This does not mean it's ok to do it and Allah knows what's in our hearts. Do not die on this sin since Allah curses those who do such act.

    So keep busy and donate money and avoid anything that escalates to you doing it.

    Brother Rami

    • Well, after trying each and everything to stop masturbation, i am going to admit that i am a loser and that i am going to commit suicide when i turn to exactly 21. Don't pray for me. My final destination will be Hell as per my activities.

      • Assalaamualaikam

        So far as I know, there's debate among scholars as to whether masturbation is or isn't permissible. A widely held view is that it's not the nicest of habits, but there may be times when it is employed to avoid committing a sin such as zina, in which case it may be the least bad option. The efforts you're putting in to stopping masturbation will not be unrewarded - you're trying really hard and have the intention of stopping, even if you haven't been able to stop yet.

        But there isn't much debate about suicide. It's haram. Why commit such a major sin, when Allah has given us so many options for repentance and Mercy? Allah never gives up on us, so don't give up on Him.

        Midnightmoon
        IslamicAnswers.com editor

        • Thanks for your answer
          And i am not going to commit suicide, just because i found a perfect solution, and i changed my religious and spiritual aspects. Now I am an Atheist, an happy atheist and i automatically stopped masturbation.Why to commit suicide when there is nothing after death, no reward/punishment. If anything, i don't care.
          I just replied to make you aware that i am still alive because i know that there are just few people including you who care about me.
          Thanks

  2. AsSalaamu 'Alaikum,

    First of all, masturbation is not generally considered haram in Islam. According to the most correct opinion of the scholars, masturbation is mubah in and of itself, but would be makruh when it becomes a bad habit or interferes between times of ibadah, and haram when accompanied by haram materials .

    I have noticed that believing that masturbation is haram has affected many people physiologically or emotionally, and made them feel depressed or less worthy--such feelings may also lead them to feel weakness in both deen and dunya. This is because masturbation has been lifted to the level of worse sin ever in their eyes. I don't see many people complaining that they are considering suicide because they are unable to stop lying, cheating, committing zina, or unable to perform salah, fast, or pay zakah well.

    If you want to quit or do something in this world, you just learn and practice on it, without considering it haram if it's not, or making yourself feel guilty to the extend you want to commit suicide while it's just a common thing in life.

  3. The Quit Porn and Masturbation Starter Kit

    Join online forum MuslimNofap( https://www.reddit.com/r/MuslimNoFap/ ), here Muslim Brothers & Sisters trying to quit PMO (Porn, Masturbation Orgasm) share their experiences, tips, ideals & much more

    Displacement Activities

    •Work out (squats seem popular with many nofappers).

    •Do yoga or stretching.

    •Groom yourself (shower, trim fingernails, shave, floss, brush teeth, use tongue scraper, wash your clothes, etc.).

    •Get squeeze balls for your hands (squeeze the squeeze ball and not your genitals).

    •Go for a walk.

    •Read a book instead of surfing the web.

    •Hang out with people.

    •Be an active member of your nearby mosque (or Islamic Youth clubs).

    •Clean the house/apartment/room.

    •Fix something around the house.

    •Start a chore that you have been putting off.

    •learn something new (a language, a musical instrument, cooking, solve a Rubik's cube etc).

    •2 minute time out.

    Avoidance Techniques

    •Delete your porn folder, delete your porn links.

    •Install a porn blocker (no more looking at sexy pics).

    •No edging((,The act of masturbating, ending without ejaculation) period. Touch yourself only when cleaning your body or urinating (see squeeze ball above).

    •Stay in public places.

    •Stay off the computer or phone except for a dedicated task like banking, work, school work, email, texting, checking FB, checking the news, etc. and then log out.

    •If you are surging stay off the computer or phone completely.

    •Do not mindlessly surf the web because you will eventually click on a trigger.

    •Wear thick pants with a belt.

    •Go to bed only when you are about to sleep.

    •Get out of bed immediately after waking.

    Mental Motivation

    •Remember why you are doing this.

    •Acquiring that strong sense of self-pride and being able to look people in the eye.

    •There will never be a day when masturbating to porn or alone will leave you happy and fulfilled.

    •Remember how shitty you feel right after you masturbate. .

    •Remember that as your pleasure centres rewire you will start enjoying the experiences of your life more vividly.

    •If you masturbate then you are training yourself to be mediocre.

    •If you masturbate frequently, then prepare to lose your manliness after marriage.

    •When you masturbate then your sex life is watching other people have sex or fantasy. This trains your brain to be a beta male.

    •If you masturbate you will numb yourself to your life and you will never have a hope of completing yourself to find a partner to marry.

    •A majority of the women in porn are leading abused lives. You don 't want to contribute to the harm of another person.

    •Porn and masturbate makes you look at women in the wrong ways. You don't want to be that guy.

    •People can sense you are a beta male when you masturbate frequently. They know.

    •When you don't masturbate you will become more alpha. Alpha doesn't mean aggressive douchebag, I know buddhist monks and lay meditators who are very alpha and very good people at the same time.

    •Quit PMO for yourself.

    •Remember that if if you don't have ED you will eventually get it.

    •Remember that if you have ED then quitting PMO will cure it (if there are no underlying medical issues).

    •You will have the freedom of not worrying about your browser history.

    •You will have the freedom of not having that second, hidden, masturbation addict personality.

    •You will have a more sensitive and normal genital response (i.e. no more death grip/death unit syndrome).

    Improve Your Commitment

    •Acknowledge to yourself that you have a problem, an addiction even.

    •if you have an accountability partner, call or text them when you are surging.

    •Mark out your masturbating days on a calendar ('x' out each day with a coloured marker, if you relapse then 'x' out each subsequent day of your new streak using a different coloured marker). It doesn't have to be paper, I use my iPad calendar for example.

    •... but remember that every day is Day 1 no matter how high your counter is.

    •Also post your progress on MuslimNofap every so often. Post daily if you are going through a rough patch.

    •"Low masturbating frequency" does not work, cold turkey is the best way to go.

    •Go to MuslimNofap and help others.

    •Be very regular and punctual with your Salat(prayers),do lots of Istighfar and duas.

    •Identify your triggers (stress, anxiety, boredom, some kind of perceived failure) and realize that a fap session will not help.

    Tricks of Last Resort

    •Cold showers.

    •For some, cold showers are too traumatic. If so, then wash your unit with a cold face cloth until the urge passes. Some have have suggested that washing your face in cold water may also work.

    •Hard mode is the best way to heal your brain quickly from this disease of PMO addiction.

    This post is only quit about PMO,most imp living for purpose, not pleasure.

    Finally.....

    •Fall down. Get up.

    •Fall down. Get up.

    •Fall down. Get up.

    •Fall down. Get up.

    •Fall down. Get up. Stay up. Help your Brothers on MuslimNofap( https://www.reddit.com/r/MuslimNoFap/ )

  4. OP: Although when ramzan comes, I leave it for a month; and after eid I restart my activity.

    How do you manage to stop during Ramzan? Why do you do it in the first place?

    • i think due to avoidance of many evil things shaitaan can not come to me in ramadaan
      by the thanks to all my frnds for helping me i will try again and again to overcome this thing insha allah

  5. Masturbation is a normal form of sexual release where you don't have a sexual partner.

    Go easy on yourself. I don't know how old you are, but once you get married you won't need to do this all the time.

  6. Love somone madly and then stop doing it for his/her sake...

  7. bro, I'm in the same boat as you are. I have been severely depressed regarding this issue, but i have come to realize there is nothing i can do until i get married. And i have accepted my self which is making me happy!

  8. Assalamu alaykum brother. if something is considered as haraan by allah then definately it is harmful to us either physically or mentally or spiritually as far my experience it is above said three way attack. as u know at the time of masturbation u ll not think the azhaab pf allah but immediately after u get done u ll be terrified. why is that happening because we will be under the control of shaytan and our own nafs. allah says in ge quran in surah yusuf. NAFS WILL ONLY TEACH YOU BAD THINGS so keep ur nafs desires in ur control and anything which leqds to haram is also haram so masturbation is also haram. try to pray all 5 salaats at masjid read quran when ever u find time or atleast morning and night make a habit of it. and one more remidy is to keep nafl rozaa monday and thrursday like our prophet sallahu alayhi wasallam it helps u alot and have its niyyat. may god protect u. Assalamu alaykum

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