Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Confusion between two marriage proposals

I cannot choose between brothers

Assalam alaikum,

I'm a graduate and my parents have found 2 eligible bachelors for me..one is quite ambitious and has completed his post grad but the only prob with this guy is that his family is settled in a village.my parents have asked this guy where he's planning to settle n its not his village.There is this other guy who is not so very ambitious n is persuing his post grad who also hails from a very small place but my parents think that he wud settle in a big city..i haven't talked to any of them..the first guy's job wud not let him settle in his village while the second one can owing to his job. what should my next step be?how should i perform istekhara?taking whom in consideration?plz help.

aliya

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4 Responses »

  1. Sister,

    Jobs come and go and people move all the time. My advise would be to have the opportunity to meet both of these men. You may like one more than the other or have an attraction to one man over the other. Look at their character, how they carry themselves, how they talk and so forth. That is what you want to be looking at in a potential spouse...not where they are going to live.

    I have probably moved a minimum of ten times in my married life. Different cities or countries and honestly, if you are with the person you want to be with...it doesn't matter where you are as long as you are together. God willing you will be able to choose which man you deem has the qualities that you are looking for in a life partner. Best of luck to you.

    Salam

    • I don't agree .Job is very important and his attitude towards jobs .marriage will collapse if husband doesn't earn properly due to lack of interest in jobs ...money is one f the important factor in marriage more than other factors

      • I absolutely agree that money is an important factor however it isn't the be all, end all. It seems that the parents of this sister are more concerned about where their daughter and her husband will reside, ie "village or a big city" and in my mind, that really is irrelevant when it comes to choosing a spouse.

        Both men are educated and each have their own distinct personalities, characters and so forth. The best foot forward would be to have the opportunity to meet both of these men and see for herself which one she finds herself attracted to and has the qualities that she is looking for in a life partner. May Allah guide her and may she decide which suitor is best for her. Allah hu alem.

        Salam

  2. Sister May Allah bless you.

    Look for piety, Allah will keep you happy throughout. Happiness cannot bought through money sister. Hence, select one who is pious and close to Allah. Allah bless your relation if you dont involve in any pre-marriage relationship. If you found both of them pious then you can go for isthikhara.

    You need not do isthikhara is for someone. Isthikhara is not to be done on anyone but on yourself. Perform salathul isthikara with a vision of finding a the best among the two and post salah, do whatever comes to your mind. Bcs whatever comes to your mind is the divine insist from Allah. Remember Sister, Isthikara is about only performing salah and nothing else and dream has no relevance to ithikhara. So dont anticipate any dream post salathul isthikhara rather dont sleep after salathul ifthikhara.

    Please reply if any further clarity required. Insha Allah, i may try to help you out of little knowledge Allah gave to me. I am a student of islamic knowledge. Please pray for me sister.

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