I don’t like her, should I marry her?
Assalamoalaikum!
I have few questions, please suggest me the right way of this:
1) I am a Muslim boy, can I marry a Christian girl?
2) I came in contact with a Christian girl at my workplace. She started loving with me but I never loved her.
In between we committed physical relations. Then she statrted saying that I want to marry with you. I refused her, but for last two years she is in contact with me that I will marry with her.
Point is that she was hating muslims but when she came in contact with me she got to know about the muslims and Islam and started loving. She is ready to convert to Islam also. I afraid that if I refused her she will once gain have a bad impression about muslims which I can´t digest.
She is average look & I don´t like her much. I think if I get married and would not be able to give her respect would also be a sin. I am confused what should I do? Please suggest me something in the light of Islam.
Thanks
Rahi
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Wa alaikas salam. . . Sister z have given a nice approach in answering ur questions. . . . I will add something. . . . (1) yes u can marry d people of d scripture (jews nd christian). . Specifically in ur own case, dat u are about performing a big jihad (ie converting her) . . . . . . . I agree with sister z dat you should'nt marry d woman u don't love, and also d prophet(SAW) also advice us to marry woman b/c of d following reasons **b/c of her beauty, **b/c of her status, **b/c of her wealth **b/c of her religion (ie how far is she practising d deen) and the prophet further added dat we should marry a woman b/c of d forth option. . . Reason is if u marry a woman b/c of her beauty, with time dat beauty will fade away as she is becoming old., or she might obtain some scar's as a result of some infatal or fatal accidents or burns etc and dat will reduce her beauty or even spoil her look.., and by then u will start hating her since u love her b/c of her beauty. . . . . , similarly if u love her b/c of her wealth or statue, what will happen when d wealth is finished due to one reason or d other?? But if u marry her b/c of her dovoution to islam, dat quality will remain in her weather she is becomes old or not, weather she is in a good condition or not, dat quality will remain in her. . . . And these are d kind of women dat will raise good and religous children for u and dis will give u internal peace and happiness in ur life. . . . These kind of women (ie those devouted to islam) can be found from among those women who reverted/converted to islam and also among those women that are born and brought up muslimas. . . . Infact i can assure u dat some muslimas reverts (after having d knowlede of d deen) are even devouted to d religion (islam) more than d so called women dat are born and brought up as muslimas. ., i have seen many and infact (not to go too far) we have typical example among those editors( i will not mention name(s) ) of dis website . . . Infact i was amazed and i remained speechless when i read in her post to choice1 that she was a catholic but she reverted to islam (seeing d way she is now devouted and also d way she is perfectly answering questions with humility nd in a nice way). . . And May Allah reward her for d extra effort she has put in propagating d massage. . . . . . . So my own advice to u is u should try and develop some love for her b/c of d fact dat she respect ur religion and also want's to convert. . ., then u should try and teach her d knowledge of d religion so dat she should become a devouted muslima. ., and by following d advice given to u by d prophet(SAW), U can marry her b/c of her devoution to d religion. . . . . . . . Mohd
Rahi,
You don't like her much but you'll use her for you own sexual gratification. She looks average but good enough to sleep with. If you marry her, you don't think you can give her respect...do you hear yourself Rahi?!
This poor girl has probably looked to you over the last two years thinking that she may have a future with you and the whole time your just using her to satisfy your sexual needs. So sad. You don't think you can give her respect because of what...she slept with you for those two years? She gave herself to you freely but now you can not find any respect for her? Do yourself and her a favor...just end things and pray for her. God willing she will find the light of Islam without you and find someone who will like her for who she is even if she is "average looking".
Sad to say...it's guys like you who sleep with women and use them up and then turn around and want a "virgin" for a wife. Happens every single day. May Allah guide this woman to Islam without you and may she also find a wonderful and loving man who will love her for the "average" woman that she is.
Ameen.
Walaykumsalaam,
In answer to your questions:
1) A Muslim man can marry a woman of the Book, but it is better for him to marry a good Muslim woman.
2) You started having relations with a Christian woman at work. That was wrong and you should repent for this. When we marry, we should start with the right intentions and by choosing someone who fits the Islamic criteria. What do you have in front of you? 'A Christian woman whom you not like'. So what is making you go along with this? It seems you have a problem saying 'no'. If you don't like this girl, don't marry her - simple. Have you not read the hundreds of posts on this website about failing marriages?! Do you really want to become another statistic?
If you marry this girl, you will be lying to her and such a marriage will eventually break down. Do the Muslim thing now. Do Tawbah and ask Allah to give you the courage to speak up and tell this girl the truth that you do not want to marry her. If she truly believes in Islam, she will still accept it - with or without you.
Now clear your mind and focus in the right way. Avoid falling into such haraam relationships and when you are ready to marry, look for a Muslim woman whom you 'like' and will help you raise a good Islamic family.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
for good sake dont marry her . it will create truoble both for you and her .