His family are making him choose between his kids and me
I am a converted muslim for almost 5 years and I am engaged but my fiance had been asked by his mother to marry his cousin because she doesn't want him or accept him having a wife of different nationality. Their family are born muslims and they let him marry his cousin.
At first we decided to end up our relationship even it hurts us badly, terribly for his moms request that he can't refuse due to her health condition at that time. So some months passes and the marriage didn't go well. He remained responsible but decided to come back to me. We tried to find a way to be together to marry, but the wife and family refuses each time we asked them.
They had now 3 kids, the marriage isn't healthy anymore, she asked for divorce but he wants to stay with the kids and marry me as second wife. but whole family asked him to choose between me and them, the kids, her and family. if he refused divorce they make it in writing that if he comes back to me or be with any woman as second wife, she will divorce
him direct and take the kids. but if he accept divorce, she will take
kids.
We are so much pressured. I never asked him ever to leave them from me for I know my position and rights to be a second wife, but his family refuses and file this case of divorce in court with all those conditions. What shall we do now? We don't have much time to decide coz they don't give much time. We have wait for long time to make them understand and accept us, but still the same thing.
Both of us want to be married and be husband and wife in islam and Allah's way. But what can we do about the problem now and with the case she filed in court?
Please help us. I am looking forward to hear from you soon.
-Sarah M
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End your relationship with him. He already made a choice when he married someone else instead of you. At the time he was not married yet. He could have married you if he felt strongly about it. But he chose his cousin instead. This stuff about "can't refuse his mother because of health reasons" is nonsense. He made a choice.
Khalas. It's over. Let it go. Find yourself a man who is willing to commit to you wholeheartedly, not put you on a shelf for years while he has children with someone else.
You have sacrificed all your self-respect and dignity for this man, and wasted years of your life. Move on, sister. This guy is not worth your love.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor