Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Family not allowing my marriage because of caste

No castes in Islam

There is no caste in Islam

A/S everyone,

I have a question. I want to marry a guy and we have been in a relationship for 7 years now. His family is also ready with the marriage proposal and have approached my family a number of times. But my family is not agreeing.

The only reason they are giving is that the boy is not of our caste, although he is also a Muslim. We have tried convincing them but of no use. It has been almost 2 years since we began trying to convince them. They only say I can marry him, but they will not be involved, and after that there will be no connection with them.

Is the reason they are giving even valid? They know that there is no caste system in Islam, still they are not allowing it just because of thinking about society.

Please help me in this regard as soon as possible. Should istakhara be done, and what is the correct procedure to follow? There are a lot of sites and everywhere there is a slight difference in the process.

-Aliyaa

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2 Responses »

  1. Their reasoning is not valid and therefore makes them not fit to be your guardian. You need to seek an imam who can be your guardian on your behalf. Caste is just meaningless. You marrying someone from your caste doesn't add value so it just boils down to arrogance. If this man has no fault then go ahead but inform your family what's going on

  2. Salaam, caste should not be an issue but unfortunatly in the day and age we live in it is. I married a man of choice and have been married for 5yrs now and evn though caste was not an issue at the time differences have come up more so when children are now a part of our family..although it shouldn't be an issue and was clearly stated at time of marriage it wasnt i have endured alot of psychological abuse, altho nothing has ever been said i have always been made to be felt different and never have been accepted. The best advise i can give is to do istikhara, if it is by the will of allah then it wil be inshallah. Caste should not be the be all and end all but u will be treated differntly and issues can arise. Be sure u know who u are marrying and for the right reasons, be sure to marry to be better muslim and that you will both work together to increase ur imaan and deen and not beacuse u have been dating for so many years. Know that marriage is about compromise and outside influences will test ur relationship be it caste or otherwise. Marry for the sake of allah and do istikhara, i pray allah makes ur struggles easy

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