Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Feeling always depressed and helpless

Lonely man walking away.

Assalamu alaikum

I am 16 year old boy, live in south asia. When I am 9 year old my father is died. After that I am become helpless and depressed. I hate my life. I think allah hate me and not love me. If allah hate me then why he can not kill me? Some time I decide to do suicide but I am unsuccess to do. I want to become a businessman but I think allah never make my dream real. I want to live alone. Sometime I think allah is false. My classmates are calling me dirty ugly clown. I hate myself, what can I do?

Habib yazman

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9 Responses »

  1. Dear brother Habib,

    Allah is always with you. Do not overburden yourself as you are in a growing phase. At first relax and think what you want from your life. You have a long way to go my brother. Make some real friends and spend time with them. As you are still 16 years as you say you must do some kind of sport activity as you seem to be a little hopeless. Do some karate or boxing or kung fu as you need to bring out the fear and hopelessness residing inside you. This will help you get physically fit and you can bring out your anxiety, anger on the punching bag.
    Be brave my brother.
    Go to a mosque nearby and pay namaz and read Quran. You need to balance your energy not destroy it.
    Find a good teacher to guide you as you need guidance and have faith in Allah.
    You can do any business you like but listen to your heart as heart always gives the right answer.
    Keep up ur spirit. Good luck.

  2. Brother shaan easy to say but hard to do.i lost everything in my life.nothing has remain for life is destroyed and finish.if allah love me then why he kill my father?

    • Please be careful of your mode of expression. Allah did not "kill" your father. Everyone and everything dies in this universe. That is the nature of existence. However, your father's soul is still alive, and one day he will be resurrected to face Allah and receive his judgment.

      It's easy to blame Allah for your problems. It's harder to accept responsibility for your life and your choices. You must choose to make something of your life, and ask Allah for help. I'm sorry that your father passed away when you were young. Everyone has his time, and we do not know the reasons why. Try to be grateful for what you have, instead of focusing on what you do not have. Gratitude is the key to inner peace.

      Wael Editor

  3. Assalaamualaikam

    Death is never easy, especially the death of someone we love, and especially when we are young. But death is part of life - this life is temporary. Each life has its allotted time, and no-one can say when that time will be. All we can do is live as well as we can, while we can, and trust in Allah's mercy and love.

    Allah did not kill your father. Your father's soul was in this world for a temporary time, and his test in this life is now complete. While we mourn our losses, we can inshaAllah find some comfort knowing that our loved ones who have died, will be at rest and inshaAllah we can be reunited with them in the next life.

    But there is still so much you can do with your own life. You are still young, you have dreams for the future, you have so many opportunities ahead of you. Now you have to stand up and face your own trials head-on. When you feel yourself doubting your own abilities or questioning your faith, think of your father and remember how he acted - even though he was with you for what feels like a very short time, there will inshaAllah be many lessons that he taught you simply by being in your life. Learn from him and keep his memory alive with you.

    Remember to make dua for your father; the dua of a child for a parent is of great importance. You may find that this also helps you feel closer to Allah and more at peace with yourself.

    Midnightmoon editor

  4. My life is ruined.i am just finish.i think to do suicide but i am unsuccess to do.i hate myself and my life.i feeling depressed.sometime i cut my hand lashing myself by wire.i am make dua to allah for my dead.

    • Dear Habib,
      Being a muslim , you know our holy prophet . He was born as orphan (lost his father before birth) then his mother at age of about 2 or 3 years , and his grand father at 6 years. He was raised by his grand father then uncle. He was having some similar situations like you.
      Remember that life is a test. and may be Allah put his noble persons to more tests. So try to be patients and have good faith in Allah. Bad days always pass away. So keep praying , have good thoughts, try to help who are more helpless than you. Suicide is a big crime which Allah does not forgive, because that is losing faith in Allah. So keep your full confidence & trust in Allah . Keep praying an inShaAllah , Allah will do the best for you in your own life time. Wish you good luck . Allah Hafiz

  5. in this age many of the teenagers want to commit suicide for no reason. its hard to live without father. its sad but you should try to live in the present. keep the good memories of your father, recite Quran for the peace of his soul.
    people usually call others ugly when they are jealous and insecure you are not ugly . your face looks will keep on changing. you are still growing.
    for business you need to have alot of money, if you have you can do it.
    but keep two options for the future and dont regret you will become what is written for you just pray it would be good .
    time will pass and time heals everything. if there is bad time good time will also come. there is day after the night and the day is not far so please be hopeful and pray for the better to come.

  6. People suffer from some or other tragedy in their childhood at your father's death is a known situation and there are so many examples of people without father's who lived happy successful lives of course some difficulties will be always there whether you have a father or not.greatest example being prophet Muhammad saws himself
    As far as other children are concerned they talk like that only useless people , you only find good hearted children and adults to be around . It will be difficult to find them maybe you may not know how to find them and have them in your life maybe UpTo college or after graduation . How to find worthy useful people , to learn that takes time
    Meanwhile you continue to be good at heart and inshallah you'll be successful

    • Hi brother,

      I'm feel sorry while came across your post..

      I always so fear of losing parents and my sibling.. Either be it as an accidents or any cause.. Dreamed a few times while I was younger and cried woke up from a nightmare..

      I grew up in a single parent family, have a younger brother. During my childhood I can't remember much happiness.. Just low confidence and feeling hatred to most thing..always depress and thinking about commit suicide... The thoughts stopped when I talked to Allah.. And I dreamed I was dead in an accident, and I have come home to tell my family that actually I'm dead and I'm here to say goodbye.. I saw my mum and bro they so happy to see me back, and I can't tell them that I'm leaving... I cried so bad and after this dream. .I never thought of commit suicide again..

      Days are hard sometimes and it's hard to feel happy or think positively.. The only way is through prayers.. And the faith and belief to Allah.. Allah will brings all of us together in heaven...

      May you feel better bro, and close your eyes.. Say grateful words to Allah.. And you heart will filled with love again. .

      Don't fall for syaitan whispers..

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