Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Friends ask me to become a Christian and call me a terrorist

No-Bullying-circleasaalam mualaikum

im having trouble at school i have some non muslim friends who keep telling me to convert to christian they say that muslims are terrorist and they say no one will be my friend.

Also they call me losts of bad things they call me osama, sadam when im not they call me that because my last name and my face i am currently living in u.s i am also being bullied thats why i dont play sports at school anymore im also being tortured the kids throw soccer ball at my face i felt like crying but i never tell my parents because it looks bad and it will be much worser.

im also getting bad grades on purpose becuz all the kids call me indian and all that i have become more fatter becuz i dont do sports because what i said before. what should i do? please some body help me!

- muhammed2998

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16 Responses »

  1. Walikumsalam....

    Well, I am an Indian and doing my senior year in USA. Kids around me used call me terrorist and all that BS I did got offended by them most of the time and wasn't able to pay attention to my studies and after sometime I talked about that to my sister and she helped me overcome that and I also did talked with one of my teachers. so I suggest that try to talk to your family first and if you're not really able to do that then try talking to your admin in HS..

    And don't be stressed out cauz of that we always have to overcome this kind of obstacles in this life bro ^_^

    May ALLAH pak bless you

  2. Assalamu'alaikum,

    Brother, you need to talk to your father about this. Let him talk to the school authorities and if the kids are grown up enough and aware of what they are doing, they must be reported.

    If I was in your father's place, I would have seen if continuing in the same school was possible, otherwise I would have considered change of school where Muslims are not treated like that.

    Stay convinced that Allah Is with you and that Christianity is not true as it is a result of people having turned away from Allah, from the teachings of His Messenger Isa Alaihis Salam. You are upon the deen of Allah and you are a member of the blessed nation of Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Obey Allah and His Messenger, keep all your prayers, learn the deen and trust in Allah.

    Remember to talk to your father as soon as possible. You can probably play along with your friends from outside school, too; like friends from the masjid?

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  3. Speak to ur parents ASAP. They MUST inform school authority. U r not the only one. This is very common. School has to take action against it. The thing is, it won't stop though but i'll reduce for sure. Rest u've to learn how to handle this. Pray 5 times, make lots of dua, ask Allah to show u a way to face this.
    May Allah bless u. Nothing to worry. Allah will take care of u. Ameen.

  4. Salaams,

    These individuals are not "friends" by any stretch of the imagination. They are bullies, pure and simple. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents about the bullying, then go to a trusted teacher or school counselor.

    In this day and age fortunately there is very little tolerance for bullying so the school is obligated to discipline these students as necessary. Don't let them have the power by continuing to be their victim in silence.

    -Amy Editor

  5. Asalam alaikum little brother,
    I know what you're going through and I know it hurts. All you can really do is focus on the school work and get good grades and be as nice as possible. Did you ever hear that saying "kill them with kindness"? You have to just have saber, be as nice as possible, and let their words roll off of your back like water off of a duck. Eventually, if you are nice and polite then they will stop thinking it's fun to bully you. Years later when you are out of school, insha Allah you will have a new outlook on the whole situation. But in the mean time, talk to your father and ask him for advice on how to deal with these rude kids, and also don't get lazy with your school work. If you start getting bad grades on purpose to fit in with these idiots then not only will your self esteem go down, but it will cause your parents anger and your classmates will start calling you stupid too.
    When I was in school I had bullies who would push me around and even put my head in the toilet astagfurillah! But I found out that Allah was always watching over me and testing me to make my character stronger. I know that he is watching over you too, little brother, so don't cry. Just be have saber and do your best.

  6. Dear Little brother,


    you are doing your best. you have to stand up for yourself now. NEVER confront the bullies as they enjoy teasing even more. Have patient ( sabar) and you know what patient is in this circumstance? itsnot to tolerate whats happening to you .... its reporting whats happening to you ! so be brave report it to your father, mother or a trusted teacher at school. DONT PUT UP WITH IT ... OK . distance yourself from such so called friends.

    Allah is with you.

  7. if i report this to my father it will only make things worse at least everyweek i get pushed around i never eaten lunch in the whole school years if i at least try im always maked fun of or asked for my food ever since i never eat lunch in school for years i also dont have time to eat my breakfeast at home.can u believe all the stress i go through everyday i wish i never go to school.i had a USB full of my islamic work it was stolen by this kid from my school now i am embarrassed he knows im muslim and he tells everyone he still has it and shows it to alot of his friends it has full of islamic things.this is why people also make fun of me every time my uncle cant even work in the airport just because he has a when my school will start again the same thing will happened. i have friends from the masjid but they dont come anymore.i have no life no friends and thats how it will be for me.

    • I don't know what problems you are talking about. If you think things will become worse if he gets involved, because of the attitude of people there, towards Muslims, then he can at least arrange for change of school. No one likes that their kids are bullied for their religion. Nevertheless, you must inform your father.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

      • Dear Muhammed,

        if its that bad then you must tell it to someone in school. talk to imam of your mosque.or there are help lines as well. i know they are in UK for muslims who face bullying due to religion but not sure whats equivalent of that in states. may be someone from America can help here.

        listen brother ! you must not just except it as it is, if you are not going to do something about it , it will make you into this problem kid who will never be able to perform better anywhere.

  8. Assalamu alaykum brother,

    Do not listen to your so called "friends".they are not your friends,they are just some stupid bullies. you have to talk to your parents about it, i know you are not comfortable about this but trust me your situation wont change if you keep it to yourself.also you said it will make it worse if you tell them but trust me it wont,i was there and i know what you talking about and i wish i did tell my think they will be mad at you?you didnt do anything wrong so do not have to report this bullies.try to talk to a teacher about this as well.
    And brother please do not listen to them and do net get bad grades by purpose!!! Thats what they want anyway,To get bad grades at school is not the solution. You have to study even more and harder to get the best grades as possible, thats what they cant bear!as a muslim always try your BEST at school, try to be the best in your class.Pray all your daily prayers and make dua to Allah to help you and make you stronger.i got bullied at school too,everyday and even after school in was a nightmare.i do not think anyone can imagine if you did not go through this.i did not tell to anyone.i even stoped going to school for few month until the teachers called at home and talked to my parents as i was faking sick notes.

    i stoped talking to anyone at school, i had no friends at all.everytime we had to do group work at school i was the only person who was left and the teachers had to put me in a group.i didnt have any friends not even a single human beeing wanted to be my friend.i always felt lonely and sad. when we had break i was on my own or outside the school until the break was finished so no one could see me.when i was at home i felt depressed because i knew i would be bullied again the next day,most of the time i was crying at home in my room,reading books or day dreaming what if i had super powers! i didnt do my school work anymore, i stoped studying and got bad grades so i had to do the 7th grade again.nothing got better as i got bullied there as grades were so bad that i had to leave school and go to another one which was not good at all, i got my degree there but didnt want to continue studing anymore to get a higher degree as i hated school.

    i tried to find a job but couldnt because it wasnt easy to find one with a low degree,well here in germany anyway. i decided to go to another school to get a better degree so i can study at new classmates almost all of them were turkish except few russians me and a german girl.well the german girl got bullied there evreyday because of her looks and i knew how it feels to be bullied i spoke againts this bullie girls and they started to bully me aswell,after 9month i couldnt take it anymore and stoped going there even when my grades were ok!!!it was a hard decision because i only had 3month left to get my degree but i seriously couldnt take it parents were of course anygry because they never knew why i stopped going there.

    i never told them i got bullied, i tried so hard to find a job but again it didnt work.i got a job in a store but it was horrible and very hard.i knew i cant continue like that so after few years i decided to give it a go again.this time i was 21years old and i really had a goal,i wanted to get a good degree for a job plus my high school graduation(i think thats how you call it in english?not sur tho) which i didnt was a university kind of thing where you could do both at the same time(for 3years).

    At that time i was looking into islam as well. my parents are both "born muslims" but they never teached us anything about religion.i didnt even know the basics.i always knew there is a God and always cried to Him for help but i didnt know who He is and what He wants from us.i looked into christianity as well but it didnt make sense to me(sorry no offence to anyone).i even went to a church and asked a priest about it but came out even more confused.i started reading into islam and the last prophet sws,before reading the Quran i knew this is the only truth.i said the shahada and was a muslim.when i went to this uni,i only had one "friend" well not really friend but at least a person who was at least better then the others there.there was a LOT of backbiting and even racist was very very hard the first year, i was thinking about giving up few times but allhamdullilah didnt. i saw everyone there, they didnt want me to get good grades!!!!

    so i started to study even harder, i wanted to get the best grades, before that, years back i had always D, E and F.But this time when i saw them how much they hate it when i have a good grade i studied so much. i had almost everywhere only A, A+, or A- !!!!i couldnt believe myself. Allah is my witness, so many A lol i never had in my life, i didnt ever think i could do it but Allhamdullilah with Allahs help EVERYTHING is possible.i was so happy i remember once when a girl was arguing with my professor about my GRADES!!!how sick is that???she wanted him to give me a bad grade!!!!but allhamdullilah he didnt as my work was good as well allhamdullilah.About 2years passed and i only had less thean one year this time i learned a lot about islam,learned very quickly how to pray allhamdullilah....i wanted to wear the hijab.during this 3years i met my husband online and we got married allhamdullilah.the second time we met we did the nikah lol a very nice muslim guy allhamdullilah 🙂 he lives in uk and i had to stay in germany so i could finish my study.

    well i still remember how hard it was, i wanted to wear the hijab but was scared to wear it because how could i go to uni with the hijab on?all this bullies and backbiting,they already didnt like me and i knew they all do not like islam as well, as many times we talked about religion and they were against islam and the new mosque in the city and even made fun about it.i decided to wear the hijab after i finish uni because i tho i could never ever in billion years go even near to uni with the hijab on. the next few month i was depressed and even crying at home because i wanted to wear it so bad but just couldnt. i even told to my family but they didnt want me to wear it as they are against hijab!!!my husband always supported my decision and was happy for me allhamdullilah but still, i tried to not think about it as i couldnt imagine going to uni with a hijab on and all this nasty people there but the only thing i was thinking about was wearing the hijab.

    we had holidays for few weeks.i decided to wear it after the holidays and go to uni but still i was not sur if i really gona do it.i prayed to Allah to make it easy for me and to help me,to make me strong so i can wear it.i seriously was depressed because i wanted to obey Allah but couldnt, i cried a LOT.
    i remember first day after holidays, finally the day where i wanted to wear the hijab,i got up very early as i couldnt sleep the night before anyway.i put the hijab on few times and took it off again.i started crying like mad.i didnt know what to do,i wanted to wear it sooooo bad but i was scared to go to uni like that.i cried a lot and asked Allah to help me.i called my husband and asked him what to do and he said i should put my trust in Allah as this people will always judge you anyway and they cant benefit or harm you ,only Allah can.this reminder helped me but i still did not know what to do.i was thinking why do i care about their opinion anyway?they dont like me anyway?i want to do it for Allah and no one else ,why do i care about the people?i didnt have much time as i had to leave to get the subway.i got ready and wanted to leave,i was gona put my shoes on, stoped went back took a scarf and wrapped it on my head,somehow and left.i was runnig to get the subway.i felt FREE.i never felt so free,the moment i went out of the house with the hijab on my head i felt soooooo free, all this thoughts were gone.i had a smile on my face and i couldnt even stop!!!it was CRAZY i still remember everything!!!

    people in the subway did not recognize me!!!when i went to uni everyone was staring at me!!!!EVERYONE!!!i was the only person with a hijab. everyone was already there and even the prof,everyone staring at me,only one girl asked whay i have a scarf on my head.everyone else including my "friend"ignored it.the prof was allhamdullilah nice and didnt act strange.i was scared they will give me a bad grade afer they see me with hijab but allhamdullilah they didnt,i think they even had more respect 🙂 one of the professors asked if its cold or why i do have a scarf on my head in front of everyone,i told him im a muslim....the second week few people came to me and asked if i got married???lol they did not know i was already married long time ago and i did not want to tell anyone at uni anyway about my privet life!!!they tho i got married and thats why i have to wear a head scarf!!of course i told them a head scarf has nothing to do with getting married and it was my own free choice,no one made me to wear it ,i only do it for Allah and would never ever wear it for anyone else.i told them about islam,the few people.Allhamdullilah evrything went perfect.Allah made it easy for me allhamdullilah.i got my degree,both of them with very good grades Allhamdullilah. i was so happy when i finished from there tho lol

    my family still doesnt like me to wear hijab but its much better now allhamdullilah,my mum is ok with it but she wants me to wear trousers again lol my mum always makes a comment everytime she sees a muslim women with hijab and trousers on she says,see she still dress normal not like you at least wear a trousers again.....Allhamdullilah for everything,i do not think i could have done this if i did not experience all this not saying is ok to get bullied i just mean everything happens for a reason and im glad Allhamdullilah it went like this for me as it made me much stronger.
    i dont think i could keep my hijab on with all this judgemental people,even muslim people they come to you and tell you not to wear it!!!!or wear it when you are old.or even accusing you wear it because your husband made you to wear it!!!!! now i am 25years old Allhamdullilah but i never told my parents about the bullies at school.Brother please let your parents know.They can help you,trust me even if you think the situation will get worse.i do not think your parents would want you to suffer at school?tell to someone you trust,a teacher?auntie?but do not keep it to yourself and please study hard to get good grades.You are a muslim you have to try your best in everything.Allah choosed you to be a muslim so do not give up brother,pray to Allah to make it easier for you inshAllah
    excuse me for the long post

    • Asalamu alaikum muslimgirl

      What a wonderful story!may Allah keep u more strong,and keep on wearing hajab and never ever listen to anyone.

      you are in this world to worship and please Allah and not to please those people who judge you.This world will come to an end,and on the day of judgement those people who insult and harm you will really wish if they were muslims like you.

      So,be strong to your faith in Allah and He is always there for you.

      your sister Saja

  9. thank you but theres a problem the islamic school is too expensive and i live 4 min close to my school and the other schools are a bit far so they rather let me stay there.also if i tell my parents they will just become meaner i have told my mom about this a year ago but not everything she has told my teacher and my teacher talked to the child he is more angry at me he now backsbite about me all the time i am too afraid to tell my parents.

    • Brother muhammed2998

      Muslims around the world are facing lot of hardships in the western countries since 9/11.And especially the terrorist attacks that happen in Boston and London.Such attacks made non-muslims lose their trust on muslims and they keep on calling muslims as terrorists.

      Try to be more strong like sister muslimgirl,face your situation bravely never let those people discourage you.Try to have more courage keep your head up!,Allah is always there for you.

      Never be frustrated Allah is always by your side and will never let you down.Whenever people made fun of you ignore them or just say ''yeah I am muslim and I am prude to be a muslim''.

      Keep your head up and a bright smile on your face that will make them be embarrassed by their dirty words.They made fun of you because your a muslim, and because they knew that is your weakest point.

      Many students are getting teased at schools because they are silent and accepting whatever is been said to them that's why people enjoy mocking them.

      Never be like that be more strong study well and get good grades.Never let their bad words discourage you.
      Allah choosed you to be a muslim because he loves you and so, you have to be prude and grateful.Whenever Allah loves one of His believers he tested him to see how much faithful he is so,accept this as a test from Allah and when you pass it Allah will surely reward you.And you will pass this test by being more patience in what your going through.

      As Allah says''I have rewarded them this day for their patience and constancy: they are indeed the ones that have achieved bliss''.

      Such sufferings makes a muslim be more strong in his faith, and made a muslim not think being a muslim is everything and that he will be save in the hereafter and forget his duty as a muslim,Therefore, any calamity is a source of blessings for a muslim.

      Prophet muhammad and his companions suffer a lot from dis-believers.But they have patience until they have victory over their enemies.

      Be strong and brave don't lose hope your are a muslim and you have to be prude.Work hard to achieve your dream show them that Islam is a religion of pace.

      And try to tell your parents what you are going through at school everyday they are your parents and they have to protect you and they will understand u inshallah.Coz it is just sad to be treated like that, let them know, they have take a serious action.

      Finally,pray Tahajjud at 3 o'clock at night,recite the holy quran and have faith in Allah and He is always there for you.

      your sister Saja.

  10. Brother,

    Your silence is your enemy. As long as you don't inform your parents about what is going on at school, no one can help you. No one is going to care more than your parents about your happiness, health and well being. You don't need to put up with these ignorant kids, however as long as you stay quiet about everything that is going on, none of the abuse will stop. You need to tell yourself, "enough is enough". Talk to your parents and let them help you. As long as no adult knows of your struggles, you will continue to suffer in silence.

    I really do hope you get the courage to open up to those who love you and let them help you stop the bullying that you have endured for far too long.


  11. If it is at all possible switch schools, all the schools I have attended has had a zero bullying policy and parents just raised their kids right. I have had three occasions where I have been bullied. First is 5th grade a kid wouldn't work in my group because I was Muslim, he was made to work on the whole project by himself and his parents were notified (he never finished because it required 4 or more people to finish in our time frame given). Then twice in 6th grade after 9/11 which was based off of pure propaganda by the news and such, I stood my ground and spoke up, I was the only one in the class that actually had family and friends that worked in the towers and the pentagon. My mother was also on a plane that day and can tell you some stories. Let me tell you, that promptly put them in their place. Luckily the high school I attended was filled with very intelligent children who were bother with learning much more then making other children's lives difficult. Around Ramadan and Eid my teachers would ask me to explain to the class about the holiday and why I was fasting. Trust me there are places where people our much more open minded but sometimes you really need to take the initiative yourself, your religion has nothing to do with making friends. I actually have only two muslim friends and the rest are Americans with all different backgrounds and religions and they have truly never made life difficult for me. We speak freely of our thoughts and beliefs, it also becomes easier when you go to college. I do have one friend who turned out to be more judgemental as she got older but I just ignore her.

    Dont let anyone berate you, stand your ground. Anybody of any religion can be a terrorist (those people have problems that need to be checked by a physiologist) they exist everywhere and in every country. You do not judge a group by one bad person, what if you had one bad person in your group does that mean everyone in your school is bad?

    Lastly I will leave you with a quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt.

    One of my favs, it means no one can make make you feel badly about yourself or less then anybody else unless you let them do that to you.
    Take a stand, use your words tell them you are who you are and you are not a terrorist. Tell them to refer to currant American history and see all the Americans who have made attacks on this country. Bad people are everywhere and just because a couple so called "share" the same religion as you, does not mean everyone believes what they believe. Tell them about Timothy McVeigh and the Oklahoma city bombing, all American US soldier. The real problem is bullying, and that doesn't work I would consider checking out some new schools.

    Good Luck don't lower yourself to match with their standards, don't let their ignorance stop you from doing what you enjoy.

  12. People can be cruel and judging. I am a Christian, my son, a strong Christian was also bullied in school cuz he took his Bible to school and talked about God. These people dont want to hear the good. My son eventually got many of his classmates to join him in church. Sometimes it only takes one person to break the ice. It is not only children though, I am married to a muslim man and have been told to leave the country, they dont want me here, by people I thought were friends. No one needs friends like that. Find one or 2 people that can be friends, who will stand by u. There is always someone willing to be a friend.

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