Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m 14 and want to convert to Islam

Muslim woman

I grew up with one really really close best friend since I was 4 years old, she basically taught me islam and thats the way I see life. Ever since then I always knew that one day I will convert to islam, and have a wonderful muslim family etc. My school and community has a high muslim population (toronto), and I feel like I'm welcomed.

I haven't exactly told my parents yet, but I know I'm still young. I do plan on telling them when I'm over 18, but every night I think about everything that might go wrong. My parents are athiest, and pretty prejudice (they grew up in China) towards muslims especially. They've told me before that when I'm an adult I can do anything I want, and they won't try to stop me. However, I'm scared that they won't welcome me anymore. I know for sure that in Islam, children value their parents, and I really really really want to care for them. I have a baby brother, hes 2 years old now. I want to teach him islam too, but if my parents don't welcome me, maybe they'll stop me from teaching him.

There are a lot of things I'm still capable of, I know a few suraas, duaas, and follow a lot of rules (as a girl). But I feel guilty for not wearing a hijab, knowing how to make wudu or pray, eat halal, or fast. My friends have told me in my circumstances, it's okay. However, I want to do the most I can. But I must marry a muslim man, and I'm afraid my parents (being prejudice) won't allow. I also want to go to China to study medicine, but what if I fall in love with a non-muslim man? So my question is: When should I tell them? Knowing that maybe they will shut me out when I'm an adult and I won't be able to see my brother. I keep worrying and I don't think it's healthy mentally. Do I have to change my name? I want to be muslim but still have Chinese culture. I don't know if I'm shia or sunni, must I choose, is it even important? If I had some advice it might put me at ease. All I want is to be happy and close to my family.


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7 Responses »

  1. Being a muslima is being a muslima there is no such thing as Sunni but you might take Sunni as the right because shai has a lot of things they practice that is not in Islam. Just follow the Quran and hadith and the prophet(SAW) sunna. Keep being close to your friend and learn more about Islam. Allah is seeing your intention I'll advice that you pray to Allah to help you. Try talking to your mum. Try making it fun like asking her mum what if I change my religion someday and hear what she says then you'll know to approach her now or when you're 18. PS being a muslima doesn't mean changing your culture so long as it's not going against Islam. You can change your name to that of a muslima but not your dad's name. And even if your parents don't accept you God forbid (inshaAllah they'll understand) you should keep trying so hard and trying to please em and inshaAllah Allah will see you through.

    May Allah bless you and always be with you sister

    • Your understanding is weak ..for people like you confuse doctor . who studies for years that this knowledge as been passed down from centuries documented and agreed on by great people who spent there whole life 24/7 to pass this great knowledge.And then w some weak individual who comes along and says his 2 bits?really..did you know there's a monster who is very cunning and smart ..He knows you better then yourself and he is always by your side...? This is the reality!

  2. Salaam sister. I'm happy that you have found the right path through your best friend. They must be a good practicing Muslim. All I can say is during the birth of Islam there was no such thing as Groups like Sunni or shia althoug I must say there are a few things practiced in Shia that are Bidah (invented) so Sunni is regarded as closest to the prophets example. All I can say is forget about which group you want to be in what matters is as long as you follow the Qur'an and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) then you will be successful.

    Your still very young so it will be difficult for you to adjust after telling your family as your not yet independent and still dependent on your family.

    Like you have said if your comfortable telling your family at 18 that's down to you.

    Also you should continue your studies in medicine and pursue your career goals as Islam does encourage us to be independent and make a living. However like you have said your likely to get attention from opposite sex for haram relationship and it doesn't matter if they are non Muslims as they can also be practicing Muslims who may do that too. So my advise to you is be strong and stay with good practicing muslim woman. Allah will have something better for you when the time comes and finish off your studies.

    I pray that Allah makes it easy for you and that you find a good decent righteous Muslim husband who will have the patience to help you. Ameen.

  3. Salam when u do take that step feel free to contact new Muslim care, they provide support to new Muslims in the GTA.

  4. Assalamualaikum
    Hello, welcome to the path of islam, may Allah make it easy for you and your family. At this moment, don't over stress too much of what might or might not happen if you tell your parents of converting. Dont drop a bomb on them by opening up completely. They might freak out, as they are human. Just talk to them as you do always. If you are scared that after knowing these information, they might stop you as you are minor, then don't tell them yet. Continue to talk to your friend. If you have any question that seem unclear to you, you can ask your friend's parents. Now with the Islamic group, that shouldn't be the major issue at this moment. You are only 14 yrs old which means you should be focusing mostly on the rules and regulations of Islam. In order to understand, try to read the Quran. There are English translation of the Quran. And if you think you would feel better by chosing group, then read hadiths of the prophet and his shabahs (companions). You might think why read about his companions? It's important because they were there with the prophet to fight behalf of Islam. So its important to respect the people who fought for Islam and why they thought Islam was the right path. If you take examples of the prophet, it will help guide you to choose where you want to be, Sunni or shia. But as I said before, right this moment just practice being a good Muslim. Inshallah when the time comes and you slowly reveal of your feeling of converting, it should be okay.

    Always pray 🙂
    Muslim sister.

  5. Salam sister...Islam is first on action then words..The character of people is very important in a person.He can pray and do many good deeds but if his character is bad to the people in general .Then it is possible that he will destroy all his good deeds and land in He'll! .my advice is perfect your iman, salat, reading quran and understanding it.Most of all learn 1 school of thought and apply it or you will be confused down the road.Islam is very easy to understand but you will need guides to ask questions on certain things...Only qualified sunni scholars or mufti have the rights to express there opions other regular people shall not be taken into consideration because they haven't been schooled at an institution. ..It is like taking advice from a wanna be doctor.Also has a revert must know that the dvil will always play with you through people or you...Zikr is what will keep at bay as well as good company..Your family will be a test 4 u but be patient and talk only good .All these qualities are found in are prophet Muhammad pbuh.For he is the best of creation and a guide for human beings. .So if you want Allah to love you then it's through the qualities and love 4 prophet Muhammad.This doesn't mean we worship him oviously or celebrate b day. We just know that he is are guide to we pray . how should we pray.basically what are etiquette's of everything..this can be found in the lifestyle of prophet muhammad! Next marry a sunni scholar and a person who spends time in serving God and helping community...if he has a degree in a field that's bonus..but the point is men of God are always blessed.The sign is that when he speaks he is soft and often quite and when he talks it is simple and straight to the point...his love for the prophet is in his dressing because there's reward in everything and intention's are very important for it will be weighed in that day.Goodluk

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