My Wali was my husband’s friend, who lied to the Qadhi that he was my brother. Is the Nikah valid?
Secret marriages are broken from the start
Assalamualikum
My husband and me married secretly.
I didn't have wali that time that's why my husband's friend act as a wali of mine.
In my marraige the imam who read our marage and the friend of my husband was present. No one was present.
Is our married valid?
We have a baby 4 yrs old. My husband is a drug addict. I just regret to marry him. After my secret marriage, I got pregnant and my family arranged a marriage program but didn't read the nikah again we just go to kazi office and made the paper work. I mean sign of mine, my husband , witness and wali who is also another friend of my husband, he signed as he is my elder brother and mention my brother's name.
I know I have made several mistakes. Plz help me.
Now I also want to give him divorce may be it takes time coz I have to make myself established to bear my baby's expense. Please help me.
Is it halal to live with him. What can I do? Will I have to marry him again?
But it's not possible for me to say it to my father that I want to remarry my husband again. I have several problem coz as my husband is an addict i have to give him divorce today or tomorrow, I just wait for my establishment. Before giving divorce i will pray salatul Istekhara.
~ ratri
(Editor's note: There was another post by the poster, which could help the readers understand the situation of the sister better: http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/islamic-exorcism-and-addiction/ )
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Assalam,
Dear sister,
My question to you is why did you not try to find out about that validity of the wali before your marriage?
Is it now that you ran into problem that you are trying to find in Islam an escape route?
Or are you one of those people that only knows Allah, 'azza wa jal, in time of difficulty and forgets about Him in time of ease?
Jazak Allah.
Salamualaikum,
According to me your Nikah was invalid for various reasons:
1. You did not have a valid Wali. Your husband's friend is inapplicable as your Wali.
Scholars say:
The fuqahaa’ put possible walees in a certain order, and a walee who is more closely-related should not be ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not meet the specified conditions. A woman’s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her father, then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents), then her father’s brother through the father, then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father’s brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman who does not have a walee of her own. (end quote)
In your case, you had a Wali of your own. Your father is alive, isn't he? If he denied your marriage for unappropriate reasons, then the possible Wali is selected from the list above. Your husband's friend does not feature in this. So, he is invalid as your Wali.
2. Your Nikah is based on a lie, based on deception. Allah's Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that whoever deceives is not of us.
3. You did not have 2 witnesses over the Nikah.
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.” Narrated by al-Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 7557
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Marriage cannot be done except with two Muslim witnesses, whether the couple are both Muslims, or only the husband is Muslim. This was stated by Ahmad, and it is the view of al-Shaafa’i, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.”
End quote from al-Mughni (7/7).
(islamqa)
If you wish to stay with him further, you should do a Nikah with valid Wali and witnesses. Otherwise, part from him.
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Waseem, is wrong of you to blatantly say her marriage is invalid... a pious muslim brother can serve as a wali to this woman, You forgot to mention this in your list ... And a pious muslim brother can be the friend of her husband or any other muslim brother... Again, the lady did not write in her post that there are no witnesses when the nikah was done.. The imaam was there and he is the one that did the nikah, so surely there are witnesses (possibly other muslim brothers in the mosque, etc) for the imaam to even think of proceeding with the nikah... What i would advice this woman is to go and ask a qualified islamic schooler who is knowledgeable in this aspect.. Or at least if she is doubting the validity of her marriage, then she could arrange for another nikah.. This time if she feels there would be much troubles if her father or other family relations are involved, she could as well take a pious muslim brother as the wali. Then she, the wali, her husband could meet up with the imaam. So that the nikah would be performed in front of the witnesses.. Or even the imaam (that would do the nikah) can serve as her wali. I have seen this on several cases, where an imaam would be the wali of a woman and at the same time would be the one that would conduct the marriage.... And am talking about knowledgeable sunni schoolers that give fatwas and not just mere imaams.
Brother Mohd, I said that (regarding witnesses)because the sister said there was no one else present.
And as I have mentioned the Hadith that says Nikah is invalid without witness.
A pious Muslim can be a Wali, is there is inappropriate rejection from the father. But here, there was a lie said. How can a pious Muslim lie?
The Prophet Muhammad (Salla-Allahu ‘Alayhi wa Sallam) was asked:
“’CAN THE BELIEVER BE A COWARD?’ HE SAID, ‘YES.’ HE WAS ASKED, ‘CAN THE BELIEVER BE A MISER?’ HE SAID, ‘YES.’ HE WAS ASKED, ‘CAN THE BELIEVER BE A LIAR?’ HE SAID, ‘NO.’ “ Malik’s Mu’atta # 56.7.19 Allah(Subhanahu wa Ta ‘ala) says:
ALLAH GUIDES NOT HIM WHO IS A LIAR AND A DISBELIEVER Az-Zumar 39:3
(sorry for the caps. No editing option on my phone)
How can this man be pious when he lied? He can not be the Wali here.
Yes I did miss one point when the sister said 1 witness signed. But the Hadith mentions two and that does not make the Nikah valid for the reason that it was based on a lie and a deception. And Allah's Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said in a Sahīh Hadith that whoever deceives is not one of us.
This is my opinion, based on the little knowledge I have, which is not even estat to wha a bird can take in its beak from an ocean, compared to the Scholars we have.
And Allah Knows Best
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear Brother
Salam
I am not good in English that's why i cant express the whole matter exactly.
At first i want to mention during my marriage the imam (Hujur) and my husband friend was present.
Husband friend act as my wali. I also want to mentioned that my husband's friend was not a pious man he is also an addict.
Imam read our marriagein in a resturant didn't make any kabin just mentioned 100001 lakh bd tk is my denmohor. He (Imam) mentioned he is a witnees of our marriage also.
Actually i was not concern about the importance of the wali that time.
I was ignorent about this.
When i got this site i found many qes about secret marraige and the impotance of wali.
One impotant thing now i can't involve my any family member because that time many ques will arrise.
My parents arranged an mrg occasion after i getting pregnent and i and my husband go to kaji offc to make the papers (Kabin nama) ready.
Now what can I do to live with him. will i have to make again Nikha?
If i can't manage my father or anyone else wht can I do?
I am afraid of that my husband will also deny to make nikha again.
2nd ques i want to leave him becoz of his addiction but no one help me or give me the assistance especially my parents. As i am making love marrg they want to give me pressure to live with him though i am facing physical torture from my husband.
I am doing a job but it's not sufficinet to bear a family expense by my ownself.What i have to do.
I am reding 5 times prayer regularly. try to read quran.
Please brothers and sister help me. I have a baby girl who is 5 yrs running.Now my mejor problem is financial problem.If i am capable I will leave him imediately. Be coz i tried many ways to leave him from his addicton. But all are vain as he has no willingness. I am afraid of physical torture.It's really sacry.
Please help me. Give me ur valuable advice.
Salam
Sister,
I am firm upon my opinion that your Nikah seems invalid to me.
He (your husband's friend) is not acceptable as your Wali. I understand you did it all out of ignorance.
And I am not sure if the Imam can act as the Witness, but the Hadith mentions 2 witnesses and not one.
But its never too late, until you see the Malak al Maut.
Sister, whatever will happen will be the fruit of your own ignorance. If your parents react angrily, then you'll have to bear it. But me believe they won't. They are parents and they care for you.
They wouldn't have arranged for a party on your pregnancy, if they did not care for you.
So, look for an opportunity, mention to them clearly that you had mistaken and they were right. Beg their forgiveness. Do whatever you can. Just win their trust again.
When they forgive you, then let some days pass. Go to your parents again and mention that you have learnt your Nikah was invalid and needs to be re-done. Say you read it somewhere. You can mention the reference of this website. They will probably get angry, and will ask what you want to do. You mention that a Nikah again with all conditions to make it a valid Nikah.
Your father may deny out of anger initially, but he is a father. Can not stay angry for long. He will agree, when you plead him insha Allah.
Then do the Nikah with all the conditions, to make him your husband in the eyes of the Sharee'ah.
And Allah Knows Best
This was if you wish to stay with him.
Regarding his addiction, try to talk to him about it and ask him to go to a rehabilitation center or something for the de-addiction. Try to convince him in any way you can.
If agrees, then send him to one and also work on his Deen, his prayers, Quran, adhkaar and so on. Even you make extensive duas, read Quran, keep your prayers guarded and keep Allah Pleased.
If it doesn't work, then again, seek you father's advise about this and ask him to help get the divorce. His help is not actually required, but if you keep him in the picture, he will feel involved and will feel that you have realized your mistake (insha Allah). Then ask your husband for a divorce. If he does not agree, then the option of Khula is always there. But before all this, convince your father.
And Allah Knows Best
Seek Allah's Forgiveness for your sins. If your Nikah was invalid, your physical relationship was Zina. Astaghfirullah.
So, seek Allah's Forgiveness. Cry to Him, beg Him to forgive you and not punish you for your ignorance. And then, keep your duty to Allah, in every way possible.
Before doing any of this, do Tawbah and then, putting all your Trust in Allah, perform Salatul Istikhaarah to seek Allah's Guidance in your situation. Who can Guide you better that The One Who Created you?
May Allah Help you
Aameen
Wassalamualaikum
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam
Thanx brother
I am trying to convince my parents.
If my father won't agree wht i will do?
I think my husband won't agree about to do the nikha again.
I don have any elder brother who can assist me.
Will i arrange my nikha again and a pious muslim brother engage as my wali
and also arrange two witness.
I know i have done lot of wrong that's why they behaved with me like that.
Pray for me nd also for my baby.
Insha Allah, I will pray for you.
There is no point if your husband does not agree for the Nikaah. Because you are not married according to the Sharee'ah if your Nikah is invalid.
And do not begin with negative thoughts. Hope for the Best from Allah. Insha Allah your father will agree. This is why I asked you to perform Salatul Istikhaarah. If done properly, thing which is better for you becomes easy for you. Insha Allah, The One between Whose Fingers are the hearts of all the beings will turn your father's heart towards you.
You should first win his confidence, and then proceed. It may take some time, but insha Allah, hope from Allah that it will happen.
Allah is The One Who Created, and He Will Take Care of His creation.
May Allah shower His Bounties on you, me and all the Muslims
Aameen
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
Salaam Alaikum,
I need your help bhai.
Wa Alaikum as Salam,
You will need to submit a new post separately. You can do that once you login. In sha Allah we will submit your post in turn.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sad that some women rush into marriage solely, blinded by infatuation or lust and now have to suffer terribly for their unIslamic actions.
Anyways, whats your situation now sis Ratri.
Assalamualikum
I am the author of the post.
Really this is a very wonderful site especially who are suffering like me. I had get many good advices here.
Now i want to describe my present situation. 10 months ago i come back to my parents house.My husband was an addict. We got secret marriage.Which was not valid coz my wali was not present. When I get pregnant that time my family arrange a marriage occasion but didn't arrange any nikah again. Still now parents angry with me . My father doesn't talk with me. He also making misbehave with my daughter. None of my parent make good behave with me. yes i made a mistake to select an addict nd married secretly without their permission. then now come back their home with my five yrs kid. I am doing a job. Each month i m giving few amount from my salary but i know its not sufficient, but u know my ability is limited. Now my husband telling me he is leaving his addiction though he wont admitted in any rehab center.I am living a miserable life with my parents family . I want to go back to my husband after few months if he really can skip this bad habit. Now my question is i want to perform my nikha again. But i don have any courage to ask my father to be my wali and its also impossible to engage any of my relative here. One day i ask it to my mother but she deny to talk about the matter with my father. Can we again perform our nikha engage a pious Muslim or Imam as my wali?
Pleas my respective editors and brother Ali and other readers give me suggestion. One more think i have done Salatul Istikhaarah few times as brother waseem told me. every single day when i back to home from my office my parent behavior makes me cry. What terrible language they make with me u can't imagine. The feel I am a burden of them. Whenever they make argument with me in loud voice my baby start to cry. In my husband home i also face that type of situation as he was an addict.
Please please pray for me and give me suggestion.
Ratri.
Salam Sister
if you stay patience than you will be rewarded...