Married at 11 to a 21 year old, who left me when I was 18
Salam. It is really hard for me to explain what has happened in my life since the age of 11, as I have never explained to anyone what I have been through before, but for you brothers and sisters giving me Islamic advice you need to understand the complexities of what i have experienced in my life from a young age.
At the age of 11 when I was finishing primary school, my father brought a man into the house who was a Christian at the age of 21. My dad loves me more than anything in life, however during this introduction this man proclaimed that he had fallen in love with me and wanted to marry me regardless of my age, race and culture, as I am half Pakistani.
At this time my dad use to have his own restaurant where he had met this man who had travelled from Preston with his friends and lived in a local flat. My dad use to drink alcohol and evolved around bad company of friends at that time, nevertheless my family and grandparents are very pious people Alhamdulillah, may Allah s.w.t bless them all.
This man had brainwashed my dad and came to live with us being a Christian, where my mother and two brothers and sister lived. From this day on people from relatives and friends started to gossip about why this man lived at our house. It created problems for my parents where they argued verbally and physical violence.
Suddenly one day some pious men came to our house and I was told by my father that this man is going to convert to Islam and changed his name, I was happy about this but I wasn’t sure why he had accepted Islam in such a short period. After a few days my father spoke to me and told me that Yasin wanted to marry me and I asked him why etc. My dad had told me would you just do it for my sake, I said yes at the age of 11 without knowing what will happen etc.
Week later I had a nikkah with this man with witnesses. From this day on this man and I were together at home many times and he had told me he loves me etc. I had actually fallen in love with him. My parents gave him shelter with food, clean clothes etc for free, a job at my father’s workplace. For few years he lived with us. Within these months we got so close, none of our relatives or friends knew we were married, my father said that when i turn 16 we are going to get married and formally tell people, although he did not like this idea he still stayed.
My father had also put a condition on him that he will and should never ever touch me sexually otherwise he will do anything unintentionally as he loves me dearly. He had promised my dad but he still broke this within 2 months, he told me that it is safe for us to have a sexual relationship etc.. I was really scared but as i was young and vulnerable he took over and abused me. This took place many times, however our love grew stronger I thought it was right for us to do whatever we want in relation to Islam.
After three years he started to change, he started to drink again, went back to his parents in Preston who are separated for years and have separate marriages. From this we encountered many problems where my dad threatened him etc. After 3 months he came back claiming he loves me and still wants to live with me and promises to do what my dad says. My dad forgave him and let him come back. I still loved him and wanted him more than ever. It was weird but good because he was my first and only love.
When he came back I had noticed he had changed personality wise he wouldn’t learn the Qur’an properly, he didn’t accept Islam from his heart but because he wanted to be with me, I felt like this was his only way of being with me by just changing his name. To prevent him from loving me, my father took me to Pakistan to my family’s house, just for a holiday, he had thought that we had gone to get me married, but that wasn’t the case, which therefore made him travel all the way from the UK to Pakistan.
This created many problems for me and my family because he tried to kill himself etc. But it was his only way of getting back to the family, my dad forgave him again and sent him back to England with our house keys. While he stayed at our house he drank alcohol and was doing bad things. When we had returned from our holiday we found out what he had been up to as a result my dad told him to leave, which he refused to do so but eventually he did with the help of my uncle. This was very very upsetting for me and him because no one understood our love because of the age gap.
During this stage I was completing my GCSE’s which was really difficult for me to focus on, but Alhamdulillah I had passed all of them. Even though my dad told me not to meet him, he use to come to my school and tell me to meet him etc. I tried to avoid him but he use to brainwash me and i use to listen to him and meet him, where he use to take me to his flat. He use to abuse me there too and it was like he use to say it was safe and meant to happen in our religion and that we are going to get married no matter what. He use to ring and text me all the time, he use to tell me to run away from home all the time, where on one occasion he came near my house and said “come out now I’m taking you”, so I went with him because he said he loves me. I sneaked out and walked approximately 1 .5 miles to his flat with him.
In this time my family had found out that I was missing and they rang my dad at his work place, he rushed to his flat with my uncle and brother, demanding for me to come out, I didn’t because he had told me to stay there while he went out and confronted my dad. This therefore resulted in him and my uncle getting into a fight, where nearby people contacted the police and it became a movie scene. After this my parents were angry at me but never hit me just shouted, the police got involved and did an investigation into this. From that day on the police visited me at school and told me that he was a paedophile and that he needs to be arrested for what he has done to me and the nurse needs to check me. I disagreed and didn’t want see her being only 16 and having so much pressure was unbearable.
I never ever mentioned anything to my friends as to what I was going through because they would look down at me and I didn’t want to trouble anyone but i had to. On one occasion I told my best friend everything when I had lost control and couldn’t help it. From this day on she did support me when it got out of hand. As the police had gotten involved I had to be video recorded by investigators so that this matter could be taken to court. I had been recorded but I refused to put my case forward because I loved him too much and I had too many dreams for the future but my dad forced me to change my number and to forget him etc.
He had then moved to Jordan for a year to his auntie Layla’s who was also a convert to Islam but her husband lives in London. A year on I still never ever stopped thinking about him and prayed to Allah s.w.t for his return etc.. Where one day he did contact me on msn and we started to talk to me and he came to England and told me to come to his new flat again. This repeated many times and had used me again, he just told me that he will speak to my dad and that we will get married. But my dad hated his guts because he had touched me at a young age and he trusted him more than anyone in the world. He then moved near to my house and still lives approximately 2 minutes away from me. He still contacted me again and again and brainwashed me against my family etc.
While this occurred I told him to forget me if he is not going to marry me and find someone else but he always said he couldn’t because he loves me too much, which obviously never had never been proven by his actions. Regardless of this he kept saying he would never marry another girl, but as I knew his password to his hotmail etc.. I logged into it and found he has made a profile on singlemuslim.com.
I had confronted him with this and he said that it’s all a big joke, but on one day whilst I was at college he had told me that he has found another girl and that he can’t be with me. It was the worst day of my life and the worst feeling. I felt like killing him and asked him why did you stay and say to me you love me for 7 years; at 18, he said IM SORRY. As we met privately my dad had caught us and he came and confronted him and told him why would you do this with my daughter. I was sitting in the passenger seat and cried my heart out whilst he was laughing and joking about his new wife to be etc.
My dad took me and I said bye to him and I had given up in life but my dad assured me all the time. For another 11 months he didn’t contact me I had changed my number but still never stopped thinking about him but I just prayed for Allah s.w.t to keep him happy where ever he was etc.
He eventually contacted me again somehow through family friends and told me he was married to a doctor in Jeddah but he was lying, he told me to meet him and I said to him no I will never do that again you will only use me again. He kept saying that I’m still his wife, but I explained to him why did you say that you have a new wife now and told me to move on then? He told me he thought he could move on but he couldn’t. I met him again and thought that he will finally marry me because he has been the only love in my life and I can’t marry anyone else, even though I have had many proposals from relatives and family friends.
It’s too hard for me to move on and trust someone else. He told me he loved me and kept telling me to meet him. I was at university at this time so it was easy for him to pick me up privately. We met for four months and spoke to me like a husband. Then one the 22nd December 2009 he text me saying I am going Jeddah to have a nikkah and I didn’t believe him as he said he was joking because he’s only going Umrah, which was obviously a lie. After this when he came back in 2010 he would meet me again and used me telling me that we are going to get married.
But he eventually told the truth that he was engaged to Aiesha and he showed me the pictures, deep inside I felt like my life was over finally, he took the big step and had proved that for 10 years he lied and used and abuse me and my family’s resources and love. But it was as though it was for the best, I was sick of him telling lies and using me in the wrong way, as he said you ‘are my little girl on the side’ at the end.
My friends would always say he is a psycho and a paedophile. But I never believed them, he praised his new wife so much saying she’s a doctor, her family owns this and that, then there it was the unique selling point - I knew why he married her. It was all for greed as he is starting again hungry for a new girl and a family with money. I really felt like contacting Aiesha to tell her what she is letting herself in to. But I just prayed to Allah s.w.t for her and her protection from his evil plan.
When I found out about his wife I came home and sat in front of my parents and broke down into tears I couldn’t control it, they got sincerely scared because it was out of the blue and they didn’t know that I met him etc.. I had told them what had happened in detail they prayed and said good riddance as our daughter is free now and she believes that he didn’t love me.
I pray all the time for Allah s.w.t’s guidance and for him to do what is best for me, but I still can never stop thinking about him and his promises. Please brothers and sisters help me out on this crisis that my life has faced for over 10 years over this ruthless, betraying, cheating, voracious and disgusting man. And guide me to as to what should I do. Do I keep quiet? Do I move on and leave them to it and let her go through what I went through? Or do I go and tell her? I keep praying all the time for guidance and i am so grateful that AlhamdulilAllah i feel close to Allah s.w.t. But it’s ironic that every time i pray he comes in my dreams and i end up seeing him on the streets driving etc. Even after doing Istikhara i still think of him, praying to Allah if he the one then make him close to me if not take him far away from me but i end up seeing him in my dreams or in real life. This prevents me from moving on and i have never spoken to another boy ever in any way and never can do because of him and my past being in my face all the time.
Please guide me.
May Allah s.w.t bless you all for what you are doing Insha’Allah, Jazakallah Khair
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Dear the answer is right in front of you......pray to allah that he never enters your life ever again and that you finally meet a good decent husband. I wasted 7yrs of my life on a man that lied and cheated on me. At the end he didnt marry me....he married the girl he cheated on me with for 4yrs. Today I'm 28 and I have no education, no friends, no family, and no life because of him. Dont be like me. ...........But what I dont understand is.....when you were 11..where were you in Pakistan? Why did he get you married to a british...to come to UK?
Salam sister Zahra,
I am sorry you experienced that in your life, may Allah s.w.t bring ease to you and happiness after what you felt. Sister I am British and the man was British Christian before he reverted to Islam. This man fell in love with em when he seen me and decided to revert and marry me.
Dear young sister, Walaykumsalaam,
I am sorry that your post has been left unanswered for so long. Your story is heartwrenching and this is clear evidence that sometimes bad things happen to good people through no fault of their own - it is just a test of life. I am sure alot happened behind the scenes which influenced your father to do the things that he did, but in short it seems to me that he failed to give you the protection that you had a right to be given as his daughter.
Your father drank alcohol, this I am sure influenced his thinking. He invited a non-mahram man to live in the same house as his wife and young daughter. What man in his right mind would do that? You were married at the age of eleven to a man who's religious identity was not all that clear - was he Christian or Muslim? What was behind is apparent reversion to Islam? You were a child in your mind, yet married to an unstable man and then your father left you to it. He expected you to live in a house with a man who was supposed to be your husband, yet expected this man to never have sexual relations with you. He also kept your marriage a secret from the wider family.
What was the logic and reason for this nikah? It seems to me my innocent young sister that you fell victim to some ulterior motive your father and this man had. He became your husband, but like your father failed to protect you aswell.
***
Have you never questioned your father about his role in all this? I do not want you to fall out with your father, but it may be healthy for you to question him, ask him why on earth he married you off at such a young age and to someone who's reasons for reversion to Islam were not even clear. Ask him why he failed to protect you, ask him why he invited a non mahram man to live in your house? It may be that unknown to you, your father was under some sort of pressure.
I just feel that until you start questioning and opening your mind to everything, it will be difficult for you to move on.
***
With regards to this man who is supposedly your husband, I think this line of his: ‘you are my little girl on the side’ - should be enough to tell you that he is not worthy of being a husband and he is not worthy of you. What were his circumstances that he came to live your family all those years ago, why did he supposedly revert to Islam, why did he marry you? What were his motives? Whatever happened, his motives do not appear to have been sincere at any point and I strongly believe you will be much much better off without him inshaAllah.
You asked a few questions regarding your husband marrying another woman and I have tried to answer them below: "Do I keep quiet? Do I move on and leave them to it and let her go through what I went through? Or do I go and tell her?"
I do not know if your nikah with this man was valid or not, you would have to consult a qualified imaam about this and because you father was the one who instigated it, he would need to be present for clarification. If it was valid and even it was not, you spent years of your life with this man believing you were his wife. The circumstances were extremely odd and till date you do not know what his real motives were. So in this case, I do not think there is any reason why you should not tell his future wife. I would not recommend you travelling to Jordan or to any Jeddah or any other country to do this. However, if you can speak to this woman without any further damage to yourself and only because you are concerned for the safety and future of this other woman, then I would try to find an easier way of getting in touch with her.
If you are seeing this man in your dreams, it is probably because you are thinking about him so much and if you are seeing him on the streets, that is because he lives so near to you. Please do not take this a sign that you should give into his sweet words again as everything surrounding this nikah is very 'muddy and polluted', and now needs to be laid out clearly for you to see the truth.
***
Right now, I think your main concern should be 'yourself' and your relationship with Allah. It is good to hear that you are turning to Allah for help. So my dear sister, if you can try to do the following, I think it may help you insha'Allah:
- Seek professional counselling as you have been through a series of traumatic experiences
- Speak openly to your father and demand he tells you the truth
- Visit a qualified Imam with your father to establish whether your nikah was valid or not. If it was, then you may need to seek a divorce if that is the route you wish to take
- If you can easily contact this other woman out of concern, do so, otherwise let it go.
- Keep telling yourself that you deserve a loving, kind, honest, sincere husband and inshaAllah you will be blessed with one. As Allah promises that after every difficulty comes ease.
- Keep turning to Allah - He is the Most Trustworthy and will never let your down.
***
I see you as a young, innocent sister who having been through such a difficult experience throughout her childhood and youth has still managed to complete her GCSEs and is now maashAllah doing well at university. I feel that you are maashAllah blessed in that despite everything, you are turning towards Allah - I pray that your connection with Allah is the strongest of any of your relationships from now on. I also feel that whatever I have said is not enough to deal with the enourmity of this situation and therefore I urge you to 'speak' - speak to your father and speak to a counsellor and once you are aware of the truth I believe it will help you move on inshaAllah.
Please feel free to write here again inshaAllah,
Salaams,
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam sisterZ,
I want to thank you so much for replying to me with so much detail and dedication, it almost made me cry because I have never spoken to anyone about this, so openly and Jazak'allah khair for everything, may Allah s.w.t bless you with his mercy for helping me insha'Allah.
In regards to your reply, I have spoken to my dad and he repents so much for what he did to me and I forgive him without doubt because I love him dearly he trusted that man with all his heart, but some things are just not meant to be. that man has created so much problems in mine and my families lives so its so hard for me to forgive him, I try to but still I remember his false promises and I can't, will I be punished for this sister? Because sometimes they say if you do not forgive another Muslim Allah s.w.t may turn it on to you and not forgive you?
Also concerning his new wife, I know they have facebook, but I don't so it is hard for me to contact her in person without him getting in the way. I keep thinking may be Allah s.w.t has made them two as a pair and that I should leave them to it and Allah s.w.t sees everything he is Al basir , he will do as he wills. I also feel and know that if I came in his way and told his wife, he will do the same to me in the future; if I do find a good virtuous Husband Insha'Allah he will tell him things to destroy my life, because he is evil.
Jazak'allah khair SisterZ xx
Dearest Sister,
I will tell you very bluntly to stop worrying about this man (who has been charged with Pedophilia in the past) and his "new wife." Instead, focus on yourself. It is good that you have a kind heart to forgive people. If you seek revenge, then Allah leaves it to you to give yourself justice. If you are patient, then Allah will seek revenge on your behalf- and he will give you justice. No man (human) can give justice better than Allah swt.
Along with the solutions that the other sister presented, I would highly recommend that you move from where you are currently living because it reminds you of him and he might have access to you if he fails in another step of life as he has been in the past. Men like this do not learn there lessons, but need to be taught a lesson. You must learn to control yourself. The sooner the better. You have lost a lot my dear sister, but, you must stitch away the rips and begin a new life. If that man ever enters your life ever again, in any form or fashion, even if it is a simple text or email, you HAVE to contact the police. You have to seek professional help to prevent from any further damage. Along side, you must get counseling to help the inner woman become stronger. No doubt you are a strong young woman. However, you must learn to protect yourself and defend yourself. For example, learning to cope with your problem and learning to live with it. There are different ways in coping with psychological matters such as you dreaming about him and seeing him on the streets.
This may sound silly, but I would really like for you to go in front of a mirror, take a good look at yourself and tell yourself: "I am Allah's precious creation. Until Allah grants me a man that can protect me, I will protect myself. Because I am worth it!" After all, the body that Allah swt has given us is his amanaah (his belonging) which we must take good care of and return one day. So, take good care of yourself. treat yourself to ice cream, shopping, girl chat, whatever (non-harram) thing that you enjoy doing.
Always remember that Allah only tests us to the point that we can endure. It is well within your capability to prevent this man from "using" you again.
I can understand what you meant by the "using" you part as I too have fallen victim of child abuse. However, in my case, my parents did not know anything about it. I never uttered a word. i was 5 and he was 14. He would tell me that I meant everything to him and that he loved me. At five, you believe almost everything anyone says. He threatened to burn my fingers if I told anyone about him "touching" me. But my Allah took me out of that place. My immediate family moved to America soon after. And here, I am safe. All throughout childhood I lived feeling that he would return and take over my body. But as I grew older, I realized that the only person that can control these thoughts, fears, and emotions was me. With the help of Al mighty Allah, I am a better Muslimah. I know that I do not have to fear anyone because Allah is watching out for me.
I am completing my Bachelors of Science in Psychology soon, insha Allah. I hope to pursue a Masters thereafter, insha Allah. My aim is to help children who go through such traumatic experiences in life. And to help them recover and become much stronger adults.
There is no question that you having your nikaah at age 11 was a bad idea. I personally feel that it is considered child abuse to do that at such an age. Perhaps the reason why it was hidden in your case was because of the legality in UK or where ever you lived. The deen says to marry your children young (when they reach puberty or soon thereafter). However, it is up to the parents to know the sexual maturity of their own child. Unfortunately, many of our parents today fail to know their own children. But from what you said, "I agreed at age 11 not knowing..." tells me that you were too young. I am not sorry for what you went through, because it was the Qadr of Allah. Neither of us can change our past. But, we can certainly aim for a better future. I am sorry to say this, but I would not trust the judgment of your father in the near future for a spouse. It would be advisable to seek guidance from another elder of the family or someone in your community who is close to the deen and who understands you.
I pray from the bottom of my heart that your pain and worries vanish. It will heal with time. You are so young and have endured a lot. And I know insha Allah, with every trial in life, you will only become stronger. Stick close to the deen, and you will never fall apart. Don't just ask Allah swt for something, but also be willing to do something about it. Now you are old enough to take responsibility for your own actions. And insha Allah, you will have a much better life.
I hope that this helps you. I apologize if I have said anything to make your pain worse. It was not my intention. I don't know who you are, but you feel like a real sister to me. Feel free to contact me anytime.
Saaliha, this was an amazing response. Thank you and may Allah reward you for your candor and kindness.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam Wael
It has been a long time but just wanted to ask quickly, how I can remove my question of this website as I no longer want it on here it has recently caused problems for me. I sincerely thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for their generous support and advice but I no longer want this seen by people freely.
Could you please tell me a way to remove my question and the comments given by everyone. P.S I am only contacting you this way as I have tried several times to do this on the site but it just would not allow me and I have literally had enough please help me remove it! ASAP! May Allah swt reward you.
truthexposed, As-salamu alaykum. As a matter of policy, we do not delete published posts. Many people have taken time to answer your question, and it may be of benefit to others who are in similar situations.
How can the post have caused you problems when your name is not given?
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam Sister Saaliha,
I just want to say Jazak'allah khair for your advice, it really means a lot to me that you took time to answer my question. I am so sorry to hear the things that you had to go through when you was young, I understand how you feel, but AlhamdulilAllah I know we have our Allah s.w.t besides us so we have no need to worry. I completely understand what you mean too, insha'Allah I am trying 100% to forget him and move on, but it is a very difficult move to make in my life as he had been part of my life for ten years.
The one problem for me however is to whether I have to forgive him or not? I have tried countless number of times to do so, but it is verily impossible for me and I keep thinking and know that for this reason Allah s.w.t may not forgive me either am I right in thinking this? I think the career that you want to pursue in will really benefit many people insha'Allah its very rewarding Saaliha, you should be really proud of yourself sister.
Jazak'allah khair x
Walaikum Assalam sister,
Well, Allah forgives the people who forgive. However, he does not forgive the person who does wrong to people and is not forgiven by that person or those people whom he did wrong to. Your questions may be applicable to the person who did wrong to you as you fell victim. However, if you ever find it in your heart to forgive this man, than by Allah do so. However, do not force it as these emotions and affections are from Allah and should not be forced.
Somewhere along the way if you find it in your heart to forgive him, you might find more peace of mind. But this should be the least of your worries at this time. Right now, please concentrate on yourself. You must gather yourself and move on. Be prompt in prayer, Talk to Allah swt (by making salaah) and listen to Allah swt, by reciting the Qur'an, and ask Allah swt for help. If you rely on Allah swt, he will find means to help you. I cannot help you unless Allah swt puts me in a position to do so. The key to recovery and forgetting things, is being patient, especially through times when things are unpleasant.
During a Khutba a couple of Fridays ago, the imaam stated that if you are going through a trial today (these days) it may have been written in your hisaab thousands of years ago, even before all of mankind began to dwell on this earth. So, be patient and wait for this hardship to pass. Allah swt does not give hardships greater than what we can handle. He knows us and knows what we are capable of. If you find absolutely no way on how to get out, ask Allah swt for his mercy and guidance and be patient. And remember, it is up to us to either wait for Allah swt's mercy by being patient or take the "easy" route by making hastful decisions that may lead us astray.
Allah swt is may not be testing how fast we can solve problems or how fast we recover. Instead, the biggest test is patience! This does not mean that you should let bad things happen to you. It's your responsibility to protect yourself as your body belongs to Allah swt.
And also, when a person is being tested by Allah swt, even if you prick your finger and a drop of blood comes out, Allah swt is forgiving your sins. So, when you are in trouble, ask Allah swt what prophet Yunus alay salaam asked when he was stuck in the stomach of a whale:
La ila ha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu minazzalimeen(Ch. Al-Anbiya (21): vs. 87).
"My Lord , I take refuge with You from asking You for anything about which i have no knowledge. If You do not forgive me and bestow mercy on me, i will be among the lost."
(Hud(11):47)
Please forgive me if I have said anything incorrect. May Allah swt help you.
Assalam u alaikum!
Dear Sister,
Maash'Allah you appear to have found strength, SubhaanAllah!
I agree with you, it is better for you to move on with your life and not involve yourself in this man's future and married life. Allah is surely Al-Baseer and will do justice. Alhumdulillah your father has shown remorse. I am glad about this because if you can salvage the relationship with your father, then you are surely a fortunate one.
Sister, with regards to the man, it is your right to forgive him and it is also your right not to forgive him. You are the one who has been wronged. Just know that you are in a very powerful position to make dua.
May Allah make this easy for you my dear innocent sister,
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam SisterZ
It has been a long time but just wanted to ask quickly, how I can remove my question of this website as I no longer want it on here it has recently caused problems for me. I sincerely thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for their generous support and advice but I no longer want this seen by people freely.
Could you please tell me a way to remove my question and the comments given by everyone. P.S I am only contacting you this way as I have tried several times to do this on the site but it just would not allow me and I have literally had enough. May Allah swt reward you.
Salaam sister
I am very saddened by reading your story and what you had been through in your life. I pray that Allah swt eases your pain and hardship and grants you happiness and peace in this world and paradise hereafter..ameen..
How have you been? Please give us an update of how things are with you. Are you coping better now..looking to get married?..just hope that your are now doing well and living a better life... Take care x
Salam sister....I was wondering how you were. And if things have gotten better for you? I often think about your ordeal..... because only a woman knows another womans pain.... and deep down all men are evil. Anyhow if you ever need to talk sister let me know I will give you my email....I will pray for you and please pray for me... things are getting worser for me.....ok sister kudha hafiz.
Salam Zahra,
How are you sister? Sorry in replying late but AlhamdulilAllah I think I am better than before, but i still think about him. I understand what you mean only another woman can feel what another one is feeling where as men don't. I guess its just Allah s.w.t's blessings for us. But how are things with you now, just be patient and insha'Allah Allah s.w.t will bless you for guidance and everything will happen for the best, as Allah s.w.t knows best.
I think I am in the part of my life where I have to be the strongest I have ever been, just to make the present the best for a good future.
Jazak'allah khair, Salam sister x
Salaam sister.
My heart bleeds when i read your story and may Allah swt give you so much sabar and happiness. Sometimes its hard to move on no matter how much other people tell you to. He wasnt the right person for you and he never will be. Find happiness inside you and do dua to Allah swt to keep you safe from men like that. insha'allah you will find a perfect partner one day who will love you more than any one else and who will love his deen and together you can work to make your iman stronger and pray for each other that you enter jannah .
Masha'allah sister you have done very well in your life and continue with the same attitude and Allah swt wil guide you. Keep reading your salah and do dua from the deepest part of your heart for strength and guidance.
From your post you sound like an amazing person because you kept forgiving him and loving him even after all his lies. He took advantage of you and your family's good nature. Everyone muslim will be confronted infront of Allah swt for thier sins so don't worry my sister Allah swt will ask him what he did to you. My advice for you is to look foward to life and thank Allah swt that he took you away from this man, from everything ive read he wouldnt have been able to make you happy if you was still with him, he would have left you sooner or later.
im so sorry to hear you had to through this you was only a littel girl.
May Allah swt look after you and shower you with his blessings. Ameen
Salaam
Salam Sister,
Jazak'allah khair for your advice, I totally agree with everything you have said, it all makes sense and is for the best. I know from everything that I have been through that I have developed into a strong individual woman AlhamdulilAllah and that I am asking for forgiveness from the bottom of my heart. For everything that he did to me I can never forgive him and I have left that part to Allah s.w.t to take my justice I have no right to punish him. Jazak'allah khair sister for understanding what I have described in my post even though that is not even half of it, just an overview.
But I have my Allah s.w.t with me through my salah and I know he will guide and forgive me insha'Allah. Just do dua for me please sister that Allah s.w.t helps me mentally for all the damages he has caused me and that I have a good future to look forward to.
Jazak'allah khair