Marrying a right man
Mismatched, but why? How do I deal with this?
asslam o alliakum islamic brothers and sisters
For the people who have read my previous post (http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/stressful-marriage-lead-to-sin/) and advised me may Allah SWT be pleased with them, i have question which is always in my mind and i think and think over it again and again. evry thing happens in this world by ALLAh's will and according to my little knowledge Allah has written for us who we marry and who we don't and pious men are for pious women. I would not classify myself as a some kind of very pious person but all my life have feared Allah SWT I am very down to earth person have never harmed any one intentionally but the person I am married to was completely opposite of me due to his all bad habits he has severe mental health problem now but when he was healthy he was involved in all kind of sins, we had arranged marriage and we are first cousins as well my question is if good men are written for good women why have i ended up with a man who was not compatible for me.
he is not as educated as me he is younger than me and was involved in all kind of sinful activities now life has become struggle for me as he is not capable of fulfilling my emotional physical or financial needs.
thanks to Allah SWT i have three beautiful teenager children I have worked hard for their upbringing and with the help of ALLAH they are doing really good in their lives but one thing I can not get my head around is why life has been such a struggle for me? it breaks my heart and breaks me down to tears when I think of myself (one these weak moments have led me to commit a sin which i m repenting for asking forgiveness from Allah SWT) but when I look at my children it strengthens me but I get really depressed when I look around even in my own family people are living happy lives when they are most sinful don't get me wrong here I m not jealous of anyone but when I compare my self to the people around me I feel really down plesae advise me on how to get rid of all these thoughts and clear my mind.
~rosses
6 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Please donot repeat mistakes.
Please feel comfortable
Wish u a good and a strong life.
Br Iqbal.
gather strength, u are also a creation of allah like others arround.you and like others in your family. take bit of healthy pride. be bit rude , rude enough to lead a strong life.
Br Iqbal
Sis,
i really appreciate that you open your heart and say it all, at least it made you light and felt better. There is a good way to look at this, Allah test all his beloved ones specially prophets with difficult situations and tests. all they did was expect good from Allah and keep consistent even some requested when will this be over!
Sinful people will answer to their deeds and you will for urs. i know there is no point of comparison however social life put pressure on us and we do feel like the way u felt and shared ur feelings.
One thing again: Expect good from Allah and he will do good for you 🙂
Good Luck
Br Muslim
ASAWRWB
Im so sorry for you.. I think almost everyone has sometimes questioned why their life in certain ways didnt turn as planned. I used to do this and i still do. We a have a story sister and life without obstacles is a fantasy those obstacles in life are there to challenge us and see how much we want things and to test our character. Look at the glass half full. You have healthy and studious children mashallah be proud of that! You did a great job and you passed the test. ALLAH swt knows our troubles the key is how we deal with them! No one is lerfect your husband is weak in certain areas BUT sister what is he good at? Certainly there must be some good qualiyies in him?? There is a verse that speaks of how when we see bad in people it may be us and/or lack to look at the good in them and as women we definitely tend to sometimes focus on bad as we are emotional. Sister what do you feel is right for you at this moment? We cant questionwhy we think others have better lives. Some are just better at hiding their problems. What would make you happy? I suggest you take some time out for you. Read some duaas , take a day off for yourself and reflect on your life. I have four kids and one on the way.. I have been pregnant since i got married and have never gotten a break .. I wish id had more time alone with him afger marriage but i was blessed with kids alhumdulilah and you were as well! Look thru your sorrows
Quote from the holy Quran surah Baqarah verse 155
" and certainly we shall test you with something of fear,hunger,lost of wealth,lives and fruits hut give glad tidings to the patient"
As you know Allah test The believere so the more imaan you got the harder the test and Allah will never give test that your not capable of handling and the only way you can solve is by patient Allah will never let go waste the believer Deen
I think you have been given a challenge frm Allah, all your life or most of the time you must have been close to Allah and now he has given you a test. it is not always important that if you are pious you will marry a pious man. sometimes God gives such tasks to us maybe He wants to see you how good are you in motivating and taking someone to the right path. I think you should be just patient and pray, and don't forget to take him to the right path. Hopefully this helps... remember me in your dua.