Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I converted to Islam secretly, should I remain unmarried all my life?

Chinese Muslims praying in Xinjiang ChinaI am an Indian boy. I belong to a Hindu family. Few days earlier I have accepted Islam religion but kept as a secret from my family, because i know my parents will kick me out from home if they know about this. I do five times namaz daily secretly, kept roza, do zakat, read & believe in quran.

Now the problem starts here when i think about my marriage. As of now i am a Muslim and i can't marry with a Hindu girl. And I also can't marry with a Muslim girl because if i do my parents will end the relation with me, and maybe my father will get a heart attack. So what should i do now? Should i remain unmarried for whole life.?

Sorry for my grammatical mistakes.

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2 Responses »

  1. Family is very important, but you sound very unhealthily reliant, attached and dependent on your family and their acceptance of you. You need to grow up, be more confident in yourself, and stand behind your life choices like a real man - because right now, you're behaving like a weak little mouse, and it's not okay. Especially if you plan on getting married some day - your wife and your children would need and expect of you to be the man of the house - how can you be when you're a weak, insecure and scared?

    Your spirituality and religious beliefs are not anything anyone has the right to control, not even your parents...yes, they may not like that you're Muslim, but I think because you're such an insecure and weak person, you convince yourself that exaggerated images in your head will become a reality if you DARE to live your life as a free human being (not even a Muslim, forget about that bit). Your father is not going to have a heart-attack just because you marry a Muslim woman, stop telling yourself that. That's like if I claim I can cause people cancer just by high-fiving them...it's ridiculous.

    As I said, you need to stand by your choices and live your life accordingly. You need to become more independent and possibly get your own home so you don't have to practice your religion in secret. That's no way to live, is it?

  2. Assalaamualaykum Bro,

    How old are you? How many years 'till you're of marriageable age? I ask because it sounds like you are catastrophizing a little considering you're still young. That is like when you make a "mountain out of a molehill." You imagine all the worse scenarios, and believe them to be inevitable. Here's the thing: Life is completely unpredictable. You don't know what situations you will find yourself in, and some of them will be completely unexpected. This whole issue of your marriage may end up not being a big deal at all by the time it happens.

    Yes, it is scary telling your parents about your religion, and I'm sure you have a better idea than I on how they will react. But there's is still a possibility that at least one of them will accept you despite your religion. Also, while you are young and living at home, try to be the great example that a muslim brother should be. Be compassionate and kind towards your parents to the extent possible. This will win them over more than anything. Continue your prayers and fasts in secret if you feel those things will come as too much of an adjustment for your parents...it's all about finding a balance...remember, Allah knows everything you do, your intentions behind it, and what it will lead to in the future. He judges you based on the circumstances that He has given you. You do not have to be the perfect human being in everything you do. Just be you, and be real. You may even have to tread your two cultures for awhile until you have a sense that your parents will be more openminded....this happens with time to all parents. They learn the reality that God is in control and that their own wishes for their children are not necessarily the best course.

    So keep that chin up...you are doing a great job. Inshallah you will be rewarded with a lovely spouse tailor-made by Allah just for you.

    Best,

    Nor

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