I am straight, I want to marry, how do I approach my parents?
"And among His(swt) Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts
I am 23 years of age. I'm currently studying full-time at university and also help my father in running his business. I am the eldest son in my family and have many responsibilities. My parents say that they don't expect much of me but they do! As well as all of this I am always told not to hang around with so and so, not allowed to do this and that. I listen and act upon what my parents tell me and take it very seriously. But despite of this my parents are never happy with me. And don't get me wrong, my parents are the best parents that I could ever ask for (Masha'Allah).
I have come to a stage where I have left all my friends because they have changed, they have taken the wrong path. Some smoke cannabis, some commit zina and all sorts of other things. Because of this I always stay alone. My Mother used to be my friend where I could talk about anything but I can't speak to her any more because of my father. My father thought that my mother would feel sorry for me and I would then become spoilt which is not true. Therefore I had decided to ask my parents to get me married. They refused and told me that I have to complete my degree, financially be strong and etc. I will finish my degree when I am 27-28 years of age, I think this is too late and I might do something wrong. I would like to get on with my life. I'm trying my best to be patient. At university everyone are in relationships but I can see what they do is wrong. I would like to be with someone special and love them for the sake of Allah. I have been patient and never fallen in love.
What do I do? How should I deal with this matter?
Jazaka'Allah
-islamfromtheheart
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Assalamualaikum warahmatullah brother
You are a very sensible brother mashAllah...May Allah keep you in the right path and away from the wrong one. Right path may require more patient but there is always a good result waiting for you at the end.
What you need to do is talk to your dad regarding this first. Being a male he should understand your situation. Give him a few days or weeks to ponder upon it. Whatever concerns he has about your education and job you have to give him answers which satisfy him. For example you can tell him that how much is this affecting your education seeing others with girl friends and you cant concentrate on your target at all. And if your dad still not agree speak to someone who your dad listen to, who has influence on your dad. It could be imam of the mosque, family member, etc. If he still says no you can try to agree your dad only for your nikah and you can start living with your wife after your degree.
And the biggest thing is your dua for yourself. Ask Allah for a rightous wife.
Perform salat, do dua and be patient inshAllah. Assalamualaikum warahmatullah
As salamu alaykum, Islamfromtheheart,
You have received an excellent response by rubae Khan, Masha´Allah. I am sure your father wants the best for you and is very proud of you, but sometimes parents think that being tough we will grow up stronger, the way he acts, he must be very sure of the wood you are done, Masha´Allah, you are a straight man, he must be walking on clouds with a son like you, anyone would.
Talk to them from heart as the mature young man you are, they know you perfectly and they know about your loyalty and respect to them. Don´t get excited and try to talk setting bases to defend your posture, tell them what you have told us and don´t expect them to change their mind too fast, but make them think about it, they will see something has changed for you to make a movement so serious as this, Insha´Allah, but again don´t expect any changes, only Allah(swt) will know which the way is, be open to His guidance.
It is an excellent advice to talk to someone that may help you, be cautious with your parents about it, they may feel hurt if you trust someone outside more than them, you know them better than anyone, but as rubea khan said would be the best after giving them a reasonable time to think about the situation.
May Allah(swt) ease ways of understanding between all of you. Ameen.
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor