I am a sunni guy loving a sunni girl. Help! This is serious and urgent !
Ants have castes (show here are a male, queen and worker). Human beings should not have castes!
Asalam o allikum ,
I'm a Sunni guy and belong to a good and respected family(we are Muhajir). I study in university and am doing computer engineering . Well, there is a girl who is Memon but she is also Sunni; we are both attached and honest with each other, but the problem is she is Memon. Her father is strict in doing marriages with outsiders and my father is strict in doing love marriages as your information you are well known about the situation. Her father won't allow us to marry, because they only do marriages in their own caste and tribes. Even though her parents know me well, know my honesty, and have a good trust and believe in me.
Although her mother and my mother have no issue because they know the feelings and understand the situation, the main problem is my father and her father. My father is also strict in love marriages and her father strict in marriages which are done with outsiders.
Please help - it's urgent! Very very important to me !
saeed93
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Brother,
Did you say she is Mormon?
Salam
I believe Memon refers to the Memon caste, which was historically a business/mercantile caste in India and Pakistan. Memon is derived from Momin, and was taken as the group's name when they converted to Islam.
Traditionally, there has been a tendency for marriages and close ties to mainly be within the local Memon community, and a dislike of marriage out with this - historically this seems to have been in order to establish close bonds and collective responsibilities within the community.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
asalamu alaikum,
this is my first time actually reading those words muhajir and memon.
when islam came it eradicated all the previous ignorance, rigid tradition and culture, but still you will find people holding to tradition and culture from their forefathers so dearly to them.
if a believing man goes and ask the girl's father for her hand in marriage, then the father should accept if only you meet the 2 criteria. which is you must have: 1. charecteristics and 2. religion. if those are met then he shouldnt refuse.
the only thing you and the girl can do, is remind your fathers that tradition and culture plays No role in Islam.
alot of time its also because of arrogance our caste/tribe is better than yours etc and that is very dangerous, arrogance can lead you to hell fire.
ma salama
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Brother, quit this new ma salama it's seems like a complete bidah to me.
Ma-as-salama is a common phrase that many Arabs use when parting. It's used by Muslims and non-Muslims alike. I see nothing wrong with it, as it means simply, "with peace". I agree that it's better for Muslims when greeting each other to say, "As-salamu alaykum" as that is sunnah. But ma-as-salama is simply a phrase, a word. It is part of the language, like "marhaba" or "ahlan wa sahlan".
Are you claiming that you speak only the words that were spoken by the Prophet (sws)? You don't use any idioms or phrases that were not used by him?
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Ma-salama seems to be a parting greeting and do have a problem with it as I have read a hadith where we are told to being with salams(Assalamulaikum) and end with salams.
This is also similar to people saying Fi Amanillah.
But we were given something better from Allah and His Messenger. And we were told to beware of bidah.
http://quran.com/59/7
Wa'alaykumsalam,
Brother there is nothing bid'ah in it. Bid'ah basically means innovations in Islam whereas 'ma salama' is just part of the arabic language and has nothing to do with Islam. Arabic language was present on the surface of the earth waaaaaayyyy before Islam came man. Arabic is ancient. Even at the time of Jesus AS, Moses AS etc arabic was used in arabia. So if that arabic phrase is bid'ah because our prophet never used it then the whole english language you're using is bid'ah too :).
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
I am saying it is a bidah inshaa Allah because it is a form of the parting greeting. However we must great with Assalamualaikum and part with Assalamualaikum not some innovated version.
Just like shukran is totally inferior to JazzakAllah khair.
Allah is more of a knower of what you all do. We will both meet him with our deeds and there is no reason to argue further.
http://quran.com/18/54
Better ask a scholar instead of declaring something a Bid'ah and quote a fatwa instead of arguing.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamualaikum,
For those who do not know, I will share what I know/ have heard.
In Pakistan, muhajir are people who migrated from India to there during the partition in 1947. I have also heard that they are treated low because they don't belong there.
Memon are a community originating from the subcontinent, consisting of wealthy merchants and highly successful business people. They are at varying degrees in deen. Some are upon the Sunnah and some are grave worshippers. Their businesses range from India and go much beyond, such as the Americas. Their community bonds are very strong and they consider marriage outside themselves wrong and they (the breachers) are disowned by the community. But in the recent past, modern individuals have taken their relations outside the community, and the tolerence level has increased.
(Please note that this is what I have learnt through interactions with friends and may not be 100% accurate)
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
That was very interesting thank you
Assalaamualaikam
Caste and racial prejudice should have no role in choosing a spouse, or indeed in any aspect of Islam. In the Quran it states many times that we should not cling to outdated and unIslamic practices out of tradition, and that we should not innovate additional complexities to the rules we have been given.
When choosing a spouse, character and deen are the primary things we should consider. Does her father have any reason to refuse other than caste? It could be worth discussing this with him - he may have other concerns, which you might be able to ease. If he has no reason other than caste differences, then it might help for the two of you to discuss the matter with someone at your mosque.
Do you know why your father is opposed to love marriages? If he has had experiences of seeing couples engaging in haraam behaviours and then having unstable marriages, then it is understandable that he would be apprehensive, but this is not the case for all such marriages. I hope that you and this girl are observing Islamic boundaries and refraining from sinful activities. Love marriage is becoming increasingly widespread, and I personally feel that there is no problem with two people deciding that they admire each other's character and deen, and that they would be compatible spouses. I feel though, that the use of the word 'love' can be misleading - love is something which grows with time and shared trust, which comes after marriage.
I hope that you can all resolve this matter in a beneficial way. Ask for Allah's guidance and aid, and have sabr.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
SubhanaAllah, An-Nabi gives us taqwa as the criterion for who is better then who....
and we then follow the Hindus in their mushrik ways and create a caste system. Ma'adhAllah
If her religious commitment is good, and she is loving and virgin why on earth should you not marry her?
Be every good in behavior and try to convince her father and your own as well.
Seek help with Allah. Seek help(istain) with patience(sabr) and salat. (I hope you do your salat.)
Istain means you do what you can and then seek the rest from Allah.
http://quran.com/2/153
If you need any clarification please ask me.