Want to marry again, but parents are taking it badly
Assalaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
I am a 26 year old divorced woman. I was forced into a marriage at the age of 17 to a relative in Pakistan. It did not work for obvious reasons and I have now been divorced for 5 years. Around the time of my divorce I met a guy and we became friends. He is of Bengali origin, we are both Sunni and follow the Hanifi School of Thought. We have now been dating for several years and we both want to make the relationship halal by getting married.
Unfortunately, due to the fear of how our parents would react (due to the difference in backgrounds) we continued to see each other secretly all these years. We have both made several attempts to tell our families and his family has now agreed. My family are taking this very badly.
I am afraid I will lose my family if I marry him as my divorce damaged our relationship previously but I now love this guy and cannot marry anyone else.
Under Shariah Law, what rights do I have to marry whom I choose and who's acceptance would I need now that I am a divorced woman? I know that a girl would normally need her father to give her away but does this change if the daughter is divorced? Obviously, I will try to get everyone to agree but the longer this carries on, the longer I will be living in sin which I do not want to do.
Please help. Jazaak-Allah khair
-raz_14
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Mashallah it's great to see you want to stop living in sin. May Allah (swt) help you in this path.
If this man is a good muslim, and I assume he is, and they're still preventing you from marrying him, then their refusal isn't valid. "If a man whose religion and moral character are pleasing proposes to marry your daughter, then marry her off to him, otherwise there will be great mischief and corruption on earth." [Al-Tirmidhi]
A good thing to do would be to let an imam speak to your family, he could explain them the importance of religiosity in a husband's choice and why cultural differences shouldn't necessarily be a reason to reject a potential spouse. He could also get to know more about him and give your parents reasons to accept him as their soon-to-be son-in-law inshallah.
Another detail is the fact you're divorced and you don't need a wali as it's not your first marriage. I unfortunately don't have a theological basis to confirm that statement.
If I've been mistaken in anything, I apologise, I still hope it helped. Allahu Alam.
Naem you are right 100% about the fact that she doesn't need a wali as its not her first marriage.
This I know, because I have been in the same situation and did a TON OF RESEARCH on the internet. I unfortunately do not have the proper Hadith at the moment.
so even though 2 people are saying this right now, I still advice you to look it up in google and I guarantee you InshAllah you fill find that what we are saying is the truth.
if not then Allah my forgive us, InshAllah, Alhamdulilah.
Raja
Naem is right. If you live in London, book an appointment with the Shariah Council in Leyton:
http://www.islamic-sharia.org/
They will guide you through the steps.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor