Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What does Quran say about 4 marriages?

polygamy

I watched the video on facebook a woman talking about 4 marriages it's to save the men from zina, that these days girls who go to the universities have friendships with boys that lead to zina and people chat on night packages using mobile and skype etc are morally low. She is claiming that during whole night nobody can have a clean conversation over the phone.

So my question is if 4 marriages is to save the men from zina then who will save the wife from commiting zina?

Secondly why do elders think that the university or college going girls are morally low, why they take that kind of friendship in a wrong manner they directly jump on the point of zina like every other girl is having sexual relations with the classmates or friends?

Secondly I want to know under which circumstances 4 marriages or 2nd marriage is allowed or you can have 2nd wife without any reason!?

My third question is that why Islam has not allowed women to keep 4 husbands? Why there is less share in property for women, in nikkah why it is necessary to have two women as witnesses? I mean you need 2 witnesses if two men are not available and only 1 man is available as witness then there will be two women as witness with that 1 man why?


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28 Responses »

  1. "If we examine the Quranic evidence we find the concession given in the following verse:

    “And if you fear that you may not be just to the orphans, then you may marry whom you please of the women: two, and three, and four. But if you fear you will not be fair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses. This is best that you do not face financial hardship.” 4:3

    "What is immediately noticeable from the above words is that the word "if" (inn in Arabic) at the beginning of the verse is a conditional word. What follows after the word "if" is thus a condition that must be met in order for what comes after it to be possible.
    This means that if a man is not supporting any orphans nor being entrusted to protect the possessions of orphans, then it is not lawful for him to marry more than one wife. If a man is supporting orphans or acting as a guardian to them, then taking a second wife for the purpose of looking after the orphans and giving them a mother figure would be allowed.

    In verse 4:2 God speaks of orphans, protecting their money, and warning against consuming their money unjustly. God is speaking to the men who are entrusted with the protection of orphans and their money. If a man fears that he cannot perform the duty as a guardian to the orphans and their money on his own, and in a just manner, then he is permitted to marry the woman of his choice to bring a motherly figure who would support the man in the raising of the orphans. God allows 2, 3 and 4 (depending on the number of orphans the man is taking care of). "

    Source: http://www.quran-islam.org/articles/part_3/polygamy_in_quran_%28P1411%29.html

    In another note, in 4:3, take a look at these words: “If you fear you will not be fair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses.” Now think about it.

    • Ma Shaa Allah. We have abandoned the Qur'an, and thus we became lost. May Allah swt guide us all.

    • Aslm. I don't see how this makes sense because the verse is adressing the Islamic nation which the prophet was establishing. So Allah swt is speaking to all men and telling them to marry the widows in 2s and 3s AND 4s. Not or 3 or 4. If He was meaning 2 or 3 or 4...He would have includEd 1 as well. The other part He may be adr3ssing now the individual after a dressing the crowd. If that individual fears....then he should marry one of these many women (as it is also his responsibility as a beleiver). Thesee women should be dealt with fairly, as any other women. They should be given the same rights (as all women and men are equal) and the community should fear of unjustified them.

      Think about it.

  2. sister im not a scholor but my wife is and she says if you want a third child go get another nikkah. i know she was joking. Anyways look think. This was not about sexual fullfillment and hornynes. Pious men dont think like that . Real men like to be clean and pure and the fear Allah much . The reason of having more then 1 wife is because there are many women without husbands and who have children for whatever reasons. The point is they need to be looked after and a child needs a father figure or role model. The prophet Muhammad has explained and is an example.He also must of knew something because of his vast knowledge?but the bottom line is that the women who have lost there husbands in war or whatever it could be. they also need to be cared for and educated both faith and worldly education and raising the child strong because the devil oviously knows that the mother is the one who produce the seed and thats important.....understand! Hadith says a time will come when there will be 50 to 1man. scholors say that the women will out number the men by far. To look after 1 2 3 women comes with big responsibility . One must treat all equal in wealth housing clothing food behaviour. but unfortunately it has become a game of fun and games. In most cases unfair treatment and sexual physical abuse.Allah will be the judge on that day and no one will escape punishment .Remeber everything is being recorded.This is fact. Pious people dont have sex on there mind! They only have concern how each and everyone can except that Allah is the sole creator and Muhammad is the final prophet and messenger and save people from the fire of HELL. Also bringing pious children into this world and help making a world a better place according to the sunnah. The reality is most muslim are weak in knowledge and practice and the devil giving his invitation to sex is at the top of the list. The rulings according to having nikkah vary from different schools of thought but they all agreed apon.A good book to know about any rulings is called bahisthi zewar(heavenly ornaments) you can download in english from playstore. like i said before the world is getting more evil and it has been foretold . The time will come soon when the one eyed beast will walk apon the earth .And the world is setting up for his arrival! good luk sis dont worry over these issues save yourself first before its too late.

    • *The reason of having more then 1 wife is because there are many women without husbands and who have children for whatever reasons. The point is they need to be looked after and a child needs a father figure or role model.

      Men who keep more than one are those who marry the virgins. They dont marry the widows or divorced they are looking for virgins
      only those men marry the widows who are their selves divorced or have lost their wives.

      • Sister, it is better not to generalize and judge the unknown. How many of these polygamists do you personally know? Do you like it when CNN says that ALL Muslim women only wear hijab to avoid geting beat by their crazy Muslim husbands?

        Please lets stop judging the majority and make our minds righteous with less hate.

  3. Sister lorelei lee,

    Please refer to below Zakir Naik videos to get your answer .

    Misconception About Polygamy in Islam ~ Dr Zakir Naik
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMBHEMco5js

    Why Islam Permits Polygamy by Dr Zakir Naik
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4ZfFRYLUfA

    Why Polygamy Is Allowed In Islam. - Dr Zakir Naik
    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xpg2zi_why-polygamy-is-allowed-in-islam-dr-zakir-naik_tech

    Dr Zakir Naik - Rulings pertaining to Polygamous and Inter-religious Marriages in Islam
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqBoOgRkXNs

    why Muslim woman can't have more than one husband
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP-2VYdws98

    Why in Islam women can't have more than one husband by Dr Zakir Naik
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0v8C60Vp_M

  4. On a lighter note , One more reason why women don't want to have 4 husband is they don't want to deal with 4 mother in laws 🙂 🙂 🙂

  5. Nothing other than JEALOUSNESS and SELFISHNESS for women to hate islamic polygamy .

    I FEEL SORRY FOR THIS TO ALL OF THIS SAMPLE

    • Why is it "selfish" to dislike Islamic Polygamy? Polygamy is an option, not a requirement -- and an option that can only be exercised in very unique circumstances.

    • my brother i dont want to marry you! marry as much women as you want i will still be your sister. i am not jealous of any man except my man thats why i am still not married you got me!
      chill man

      • I say again, the verse about polygamy is clearly in the context for taking care of orphans only.

        "People, be mindful of your Lord, who created you from a single soul, and from it created its mate and from the pair of them spread countless men and women. Be mindful of Allah, in whose name you ask one another of what is in the womb,
        Allah is always watching over you". (4:1)

        "Give orphans their property, do not replace their good things with the bad, and do not consume their property with your own. That is a serious crime". (4:2)

        "If you fear that you will not be just/equitable to the orphans, then marry as permissible for you, women, two, three or four. But if you fear you will not be equitable, then one or to whom you are committed to by oath. That is better so that you
        do not deviate from the right course". (4:3)

        The verse about polygamy is clearly in the context for taking care of orphans, not for personal satisfaction. If you want proof, the Quran is your proof.

        Still if you want proof, there is an excerpt from an article by quranicpath.com.

        "Polygamy - To Mothers of Orphans Only

        No where in the Qur'an is it allowed to marry more than one wife for personal satisfaction. The verse regarding polygamy is set in the clear context of taking care of orphaned children. It specifies the only reasoning behind marriage to more than one woman:

        Surah 4 - An-Nisa (Women), Verses 1 to 4

        يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالأَرْحَامَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا
        "People, be mindful of your Lord, who created you from a single soul, and from it created its mate and from the pair of them spread countless men and women. Be mindful of Allah, in whose name you ask one another of what is in the womb,
        Allah is always watching over you". (4:1)

        وَآتُوا الْيَتَامَى أَمْوَالَهُمْ وَلا تَتَبَدَّلُوا الْخَبِيثَ بِالطَّيِّبِ وَلا تَأْكُلُوا أَمْوَالَهُمْ إِلَى أَمْوَالِكُمْ إِنَّهُ كَانَ حُوبًا كَبِيرًا
        "Give orphans their property, do not replace their good things with the bad, and do not consume their property with your own. That is a serious crime". (4:2)

        وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلاثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلا تَعُولُوا
        "If you fear that you will not be just/equitable to the orphans, then marry as permissible for you, women, two, three or four. But if you fear you will not be equitable, then one or to whom you are committed to by oath. That is better so that you
        do not deviate from the right course". (4:3)

        Firstly, the verse of 'polygamy' is clearly embedded within the context of taking care of orphans. Where 4:3 is the 'verse of polygamy', the issue of orphaned children starts from 4:2.

        Secondly, reading 4:3, we notice the verse begins by laying a clear condition, "If you fear that you will not be just/equitable to the orphans, then marry...". The underlined word "then" is the translation for the word "fa / ف". This term used to mean "in that case / so / then" is connecting the two portion of marrying more than one woman, and being more equitable to orphans, in a conditional manner. Even to an un-trained reader, it is very obvious to notice that Allah is stating here that the verse is 'permitting' another marriage only in order to be more "just / equitable" to orphaned children, in other words, to take care of orphaned children better. Orphaned children who have lost their father need care when their widowed mother is unable to provide for them. How can marrying again solve the problem of helpless orphaned children who are not provided for (e.g. food and shelter)? Ofcourse, it is by marriage to the widowed mother to whom the orphans belong to - who is also in need of provision.

        Widow

        The Qur'an only allows polygamy so that orphaned children
        as well as their mothers are provided for.

        The discussion of orphans and their care continues well into Surah An-Nisa further emphasising that marriage to more than one woman is only permitted in the unique case stated very explicitly within the verse itself. The next few verses following the 'verse of polygamy' 4:3, are shown below for readers information:

        وَآتُوا النِّسَاءَ صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً فَإِنْ طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَنْ شَيْءٍ مِنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَرِيئًا
        "And give women their property willingly, and if they remit any of it to you of their own will, then you may take it with a clear conscience." (non-literal). (4:4)

        وَلا تُؤْتُوا السُّفَهَاءَ أَمْوَالَكُمُ الَّتِي جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ قِيَامًا وَارْزُقُوهُمْ فِيهَا وَاكْسُوهُمْ وَقُولُوا لَهُمْ قَوْلا مَعْرُوفًا
        "And do not give the immature ones their money which Allah has entrusted to you, and spend on them from it and clothe them, and speak to them in goodness." (4:5)

        وَابْتَلُوا الْيَتَامَى حَتَّى إِذَا بَلَغُوا النِّكَاحَ فَإِنْ آنَسْتُمْ مِنْهُمْ رُشْدًا فَادْفَعُوا إِلَيْهِمْ أَمْوَالَهُمْ وَلا تَأْكُلُوهَا إِسْرَافًا وَبِدَارًا أَنْ يَكْبَرُوا وَمَنْ كَانَ غَنِيًّا فَلْيَسْتَعْفِفْ وَمَنْ كَانَ فَقِيرًا فَلْيَأْكُلْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِذَا دَفَعْتُمْ إِلَيْهِمْ أَمْوَالَهُمْ فَأَشْهِدُوا عَلَيْهِمْ وَكَفَى بِاللَّهِ حَسِيبًا
        "Test orphans until they reach marriageable age; then if you find they have sound judgement, hand over their property to them. Do not consume it hastily before they come of age. If the guardian is well off, he should abstain from the orphan's property, and if he is poor he should use only what is fair. When you give them their property, call witnesses in, but Allah takes full account of everything you do." (4:6)

        And the Qur'an continues to address the orphans care and protection. It is striking just how much Allah emphasises on the protection of such children.

        Believing Men Marry only Once by Default

        From Quranic point, believing men should marry only once as normal practice. We know this due to few reasons. One of them is that Allah states:

        "Marry those who are single among you including the righteous ones from your male and female servants." (Qur'an 24:32)

        Polygamy involves marriage to a man who is not single, therefore it is an exception only in the interest of taking care of orphans (marrying their mothers) - an exception, not a norm. Also, marriage is encouraged in the Qur'an and marrying once in the 'normal manner' (once) fulfils this. Yet, what is in 4:3, is stated in exceptional terms: in terms of orphaned children's care (their mothers).

        Note: Marrying a single mother is not restricted to polygamous marriages. A never-married true believing man may wish to marry a woman who already has children but has lost her husband (through death or even divorce). This has great virtue in the sight of Allah due to the immense emphasis the Qur'an places on orphaned children and their care. A divorced mother's situation often parallels with a widowed mother's situation by virtue of her children. Such a deed from a believing man is highly noble - particularly as the Qur'an shows that having own children is a worldly deed like making money (18:46), and which does not bring one close to Allah nor count as a good deed in Hereafter (34:37). See QuranicPath article Is Having More Children Islamic? It is very surprising that some so-called Muslim men even divorce their wives for not being able to give them children - an evil action accountable in the Hereafter done in order to gain something purely worldly like money {18:46}.

        Also notice that in 4:3, Allah has explicitly stated that believing men should only be married to one woman in the circumstance shown, and it is better this way:

        "...then marry as permissible, women, two, three or four [i.e. widowed women with children in need of provision]. But if you fear you will not be equitable, then one. That is better so that you do not deviate from the right course." (4:3)

        Thus, a single marriage is indicated as the norm. Marriage to a widow (in the interest of caring for orphans) is the exception this verse is making."

    • @your brother seriously? ?? You call Fatima ra the daughter of our prophet Muhammad sws selfish and jealous? ?? Why is that??? She rä didn't want to be in a polygamous marriage aswell and our prophet sws supported her!!! He sws actually told to her husband Ali ra if he wants to get a second wife he should divorce his daughter first 🙂

      • "I heard Allah's Apostle who was on the pulpit, saying, 'Banu Hisham bin Al-Mughira have requested me to allow them to marry their daughter to Ali bin Abu Talib, but I don't give permission, and will not give permission unless 'Ali bin Abi Talib divorces my daughter in order to marry their daughter, because Fatima is a part of my body, and I hate what she hates to see, and what hurts her, hurts me.'" (Bukhari, No. 4887)

  6. Asalam alaikum sister,

    I see you are feeling a litle skeptical about the role of women in Islam. The first thing to clarify is that Allah swt loves men and women equally, so whatever unfair rulings that you see around the internet or wherever are infinitly less important than the fact that all duas and sawabs are equal in the eyes of Allah swt.
    Secondly, to understand why the Quran sharif tells us that women are lesser than men, we must take all aspects into account: 1) women are naturally physically weaker, and thus need protecting and helping; 2) women bear children, and the stress of raising children takes a great deal of time and energy away from women's lives versus men's; 3) Allah split up the work of men and women in order to be more equal, and as such, a divine ruling from the Quran cannot be questioned.
    Now that you understand the basics , lets focus on your questions.
    1) If 4 marriages saves the man from zina, then who saves the wife from zina? Easily put: she saves herself. In recent years there have been scientific studies that have proven that women are naturally have lower Adrenaline and Libido than men. Allah swt made us, so he knows that women are more responsible and also get busier with raising kids than looking for a side honey.
    2) Why do scholars think that university going girls are morally low? My question back to you is this: who are you listening to? It does not say this in the Quran sharif, and on the contrary, Quran encourages education. Examine who are the people you listen to, and read their other writings as well, and chances are that those same people who condemn college going girls might be hypocrites themselves.
    3) Under which circumstances is a second marraige allowed? It is already said in the other comment by Mohammed Faruque.
    4) Why don't women get 4 husbands? ...The purpose of polygamous marriage in Islam is to take care of the women. If you see a Muslim man who marries 4 wives in order to get some extra booty and nothing else, then he would be abusing the institution of Islamic marriage. Most women would not agree to polygamous marriages simply because it would be painful to see your husband with another woman every other night. Now imagine how a jealous woman might react to this by screaing and getting into a slap fight with the other wives; therefore also imagine if it was 4 husbands with 1 wife.. If the husbands got jealous there might be similar to world war 3 because the men are stronger when they fight. Plus 1 woman taking 4 husbands would be greedy to take 3 extra main-sources of income away from the other women who need to be taken care of around the world. It would not be right for 1 woman to be so rich while the other women in the village suffer poor.
    5) Why is there less share in property for women? Because men are supposed to be the financial support of women.
    6) Why do you need 2 women to witness versus 1 man?.. This goes back to a society where men are working outside the home and women are working inside the home: for a woman to witness something outside the home alone might be so strange and biased, whereas a man might see all the angles of this same action from every day interaction outside the home. Also women tend to have more on their plates in terms of kids and responsibilities than men, so it makes double sure that 2 women will remember what happened years ago, whereas a man may have just a singular job and have less to remember, therefore his mind would stay clearer and remember longer.

    The fact remains that we must not question the commanments of the Quran sharif, as they came from Allah swt. Please forgive me if I may have answered your questions in a way that was unpleasing, I only wanted to ease your mind with some extra knowledge.

    Salams,
    Shereen

    • Shereen: Plus 1 woman taking 4 husbands would be greedy to take 3 extra main-sources of income away from the other women who need to be taken care of around the world. It would not be right for 1 woman to be so rich while the other women in the village suffer poor.

      1 man taking 4 wives would be greedy to take 3 wives away from men who need them bad........
      A normal ratio of births should be 1 man to 1 woman. If there are 100 men and 100 women in a village, 25 men marry 4 wives, 75 men will be left without a wife.

      • It is not mandatory to marry more than one wife . In most of countries marrying more than one wife among muslims is not so much practiced compare to some other regions .

    • Also to add one more point
      Population growth .
      A woman with 4 husband will get pregnant by any one but on other hand a man with multiple wives can impregnate all women in the same time duration leading to increase in Muslim population . My point is about Muslim population growth here which will limit to some extent if one woman has multiple husbands .

    • thank you so much for the logical answer

  7. Dear Sister,

    The answer to your questions have been given by many other people on this website, but I would like to address a different point in regards to why you have asked these types of questions.

    I would advise you not to get carried away by these western propaganda. These videos and many others are made in such a way that it portrays Islam in a bad light. You can find hundreds of such videos where the video is directed in such a way as to point out the so called flaws in Islam. They never show the positive side of Islam.

    Instead of pointing out what you think is not right in Islam, try to be a better practicing Muslim and have faith that whatever Allah has made as guidelines for Muslims in this world is better for them in this life and the hereafter.

    And if you are not a Muslim then I make dua that Allah guides you.

    • i dont watch any video. it was just my own thought . i am Muslim why would a non muslim ask that question.

      • Sister,

        You have said in your question that you have watched a video. Now you are saying " I don't watch any video ".

        Regarding the question you had about why a woman cannot have 4 husbands and why a man can have 4 wives, this question has been asked numerous times by non muslims. It is especially a favourite question among non muslims who like to point out what they think are flaws in Islam.

        • i meant to say , i dont watch scholars.
          mr faruque has made me very clear i like his answer .
          thank you so much for the answer my dear non muslims are also humans. why do you expect some kind of love for your religion from them they love their own religion if they knew their religion is false they would have been in islam and were better muslims than us oh please . if you think non muslims are dirt and i m behaving like non muslim then i m a dirt .
          i need to understand islam i am a moderate Muslim. thats why i ask such complicated questions 🙂

  8. Assalamu alaikum sis.......your question have been answered.i just want to add this.i once heard a sheik talked about the issue of women marrying 4 men and his answer is very logical he said if women where to marry 4 men there will always be a fight as to who is the father of the child as the woman her self would not know.i know you will say they can do paternity test but there was nothing as such before this are all recent innovations.Allah knows best that is why he made it this way if a man should marry 4 wives all the kids will bear his name there will not be fight as whom father the child.Allah knows best!!!

  9. Assalam
    Has anyone ever considerEd the possibility that polygamy is not an exception nor allowance? That verse 4.3 has been taken out of context? That the verse is in regards to widows/divorced women as they are the ones who need marriage? And that Allah swt is telling the men of the beleiving nation that they should be tr2ated equally, they should be given their rights and not money. And that their rights should not be exchanged with anything that the men would feel is better for them. And they are being told to fear the consequence if they do not do so. And as guidance He is telling them to marry these women in 2s and 3s AND 4s...because they are not (used goods nor second hand). It is an encouragement to marry them. And if a person should fear of being unjust, then he should marry one of these women ( personally)?

    Those who your right hand posses has been wrongly interpretate and translated even. It those who ur oaths possess. As being a beleiver one has made an oath to God to provide and take care of these people (in this case women)...it's like a silent covenant/promise beleivers make to Allah in order to attain eternal life. Also bear in mind that this is what islam is about..help8ng others, creating balance.
    Note also that the last line in this verse means not to tip the scale...which means not to create imbalance on the scale. And Allah swt says this is better for the men who do that.

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