Islamic marriage advice and family advice

A mother’s love – has she accepted me as her daughter-in-law?

happy muslim couple

First of all, thanks to be God for my loving husband. In August, we will be married for five years. I am a spiritually based nondenominational Christian Mexican-American woman and he is a conservative practicing Sunni Muslim man. We have enbrace and interwined our cultures together. For example, this past Christmas I  had modified the tradition the Mexican feast so, he can be part of festivities. As I am preparing to visit my husband's family overseas, I was pondering a question. Has my mother-in-law accepted and approved our marriage?


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3 Responses »

  1. Sister,

    Be who you are and you will be fine. God willing his mother will love you because you make her son happy.


  2. Salaams,

    There are lots of levels of acceptance. You may or may not become close with your mother in law. Sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes it happens over a long time.

    The fact that you've been married already for 5 years and you are still wondering is a concern. Did she just recently find out you were married, or has she been having difficulty all along? In some cultures it is looked down upon for a son or daughter to marry outside of the social circle, let alone a different ethnicity or faith altogether. This may be happening in your family, and if so it may be a while before she warms to you (if at all).

    I think the best thing you can do is:

    1. learn about the culture your husband is from. Try to see things from her perspective as best you can, and be empathetic to her orientation even though it's not the way you would be or see things.

    2. Talk to you husband about your thoughts with sensitivity. Make sure you're not complaining about her or the way she is, and don't put pressure on him to try to 'change' her. If he loves you, he is already probably trying to win his mother's acceptance of you in every way he can.

    3. Be grateful for your close marriage with him, even if you don't have the relationship you want with her. Sometimes we have to take the bad with the good and find peace with it.

    -Amy Editor

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