Islamic marriage advice and family advice

A relationship with a girl I wish to marry in future

I got to know a girl in my former school bt the school is an islamic school so we never talk to ourselves but then I liked her . So i graduated from that school school not knowing dat she also left d school for another one in d same year i graduated.let say after some month i cane across her on Facebook and we started chatting with each other it was then I knew that she also loved me.
So after some time I later realize that me chatting with her was haram and I have made my mind that I won't chat with her again but will tell her that it is Haram and we won't chat again . After all dis sort of thing I will make sure I don't chat with her but not withstanding I still really love her .
My question is dat can I still marry her after all d chat we have done saying such thing like I love you and so on but our relationship never reach to the extend of talking about nasty word or about sex .can I later marry her ????

If so how bcos am not yet ready for marriage ??

And please should I tell her we should stop chatting that it's Haram and tell her d write way to do things , and telling her dat if I still love u wen am ready go get married den I will come fr you or which way is it good to tell her I want both of us to stop chatting and wont affect her bcos she also really love me . ???OR I SHOULD NOT EVEN SAY ANYTHING JUST NO REPLY HER ????But don't want her to think I was cheating on her or something like that .

I would be really happy if I can get a nice reply .

Thanks . Salam alaikum

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6 Responses »

  1. Yes Tell her you will proceed Halal way to her from now on & quickly find a means to get married.

  2. Assalamu alaikum brother,
    Firstly, credit is due to you for seeking advice on this situation. That said, it certainly sounds as though you are not yet ready for marriage, therefore you must respect Islam's rules on gender interaction and desist from chatting with her. Allah subhanahu wa ta'alaa has sent us these rules for our protection and for the protection of society, so just tell her that you have come to understand that what you are doing is impermissible and so you will no longer be in contact.
    The feeling that you are experiencing is infatuation not love. Concentrate for the next few years on developing your love for Allah subhanahu wa ta'alaa and for His Prophet Muhammed (Sallallahu 'Alaihi wa Sallam). When you have learned to control the nafs and can fulfill the responsibilities of a husband including supporting the wife financially, then you can think about getting married. Until then, try to keep your thoughts and deeds pure by staying close to Allah subhanahu wa ta'alaa through studying the Qur'an and following the Sunnah.

  3. Brother you don't need to cut the communication with the girl. All you need to do is make it halal by involving her guardian. And from there you guys can continue chatting.

  4. That is a damm cute caption picture 😉

  5. Brother if you love each other. But not ready for marriage you should cut the communication but take each other's contact details and when the time is right let your guardian's know. You will need to ask the sister if she's ok to wait till your ready.

  6. Salam,

    You need to talk to her and tell her why you would want to stop talking with her. Then ask her if she's ok with that too. Do this because it breaks trust if you suddenly go silent. If she's not okay with it tell her that you will slowly wean her off of talking but you will still ask for marriage. Then actually ask your parents to meet her parents and seek marriage with her. They may say no now which is way better than finding out much later. But they may also say yes and be fine with waiting for you. If they say yes you can get a nikkah done and resume talking with her. It would be better to wait though and work on graduating so she can move in with you.

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