Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband divorced me and after 4 days married my sister

wedding rings divorce

A.aleykum.

My husband and I are married for years now we have kids together. Our relationship had ups and down we would argue alot but at the end we would continue nicely.

Recently my husband asked me that he wanted to marry 3 more wives were I completely refused, I also told him he should divorce me before marrying so he kept on begging me to agree but I kept on refusing which caused a fight and hate between us and he became distant he even started chating alot which made me more angry because I was suspicious that he was chating with a girl.

After some fights he decided we all should stay at my parents house and my sister was there. After a week of living there things still weren' ok we would argue about his late night chating but he wouldn' care so he decided to end things with me and left me at my parents house after some few days he married my sister and they both ranaway.

After a week he texts me saying his sorry and he would like me and his kids back. Im too confused on what to do.

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8 Responses »

  1. Salam..this is not good.this is an eg. Of how weak muslims can get..Its a shame how kids get affected....In islam a women has more rights then a man..A man who has a few wives ....has to treat them equally..He must provide shelter clothing food allowance...This person will have to face Allah on that regretful day. The DAY OF JUDGEMENT THIS IS CERTAIN...BY THE WAY A PERSON WHO DIVORCES HE CAN NOT GO NACK.THE CONTRACT OF NIKKAH IS TERMINATED...YOU WILL HAVE TO GO IN IDAAT THAT MEANS 4 MONTH 10 DAYS

  2. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it prohibited in Islam to marry your wife's sister?

    In any case, your husband sounds like a loser to me. He doesn't sound very loving, reliable, loyal or trustworthy...if your spouse can't even be those basic things for you, then what's the point? There are much better men out there, believe me.

  3. Aslaamualaykhum

    Well technically speaking he doesn't actually need your permission as God has allowed polygamy and, according to my knowledge and I could be wrong, it isn't a valid reason for divorce because again ... he hasn't done anything wrong according to Islam.

    • Salaam,

      Actually he DID WRONG. Sure Polygamy is a Sunnah but you have to understand why our Prophet suggested that in that time. There is NO simple reason to marry more than 1 wife in this modern age unless in specific circumstances. Even then, you would still need to take into consideration of the current wife. The Husband has rights over the Wife and so does the Wife over her Husband. I found it despicable that someone would marry more than 1 wife. 1 wife is already enough as it is but you want 4....

      And to the OP, so your husband divorced you and then ran away with your sister and married her? Honestly, I would not forgive him at all. He didn't listen to you at all and was thinking with his privates(sorry to be explicit). Even if you did forgive him for some reason, your relationship will be sour with your sister, family, and your husband. Stand up for yourself and for your kids sister! This is no small matter and especially involving your sister. Why did he want another wife? And he actually went through a divorce just to marry another? If he can do that to you who bears his children, he can easily do that to another sister. It's your choice to forgive but think about the actions that led to this and how this will impact you and your children and also your family.

      As a man, I find it so wrong to disrespect your wife and marry another one when she flat out says no. Your wife isnt a unique individual person just like you. She has feelings and thoughts. Just as she respects you, respect her back. That is the actual Sunnah.

      • "Sure Polygamy is a Sunnah but you have to understand why our Prophet suggested that in that time." - Yeah but Islam is for ALL times, not specifically for the 7th century. I'm not saying that I personally would have more than one wife but what I'm saying is that, Islamically, there's nothing wrong with having multiple wives and the wives permission is not needed.

        • Brother,

          You're not getting the point. What you're quoting me on is not interpreted as don't follow Islam or the ways of our prophet currently. The prophet(SAW) had plural marriages later in his life due to his unique mission to be an example for the Muslim community, by taking care of widows, reconciling families through marriage, freeing slaves, and educating his wives in the teachings of Islam. People want to cherry pick verses from the Quran or the Sunnah but fail to see the reasons why it was said or done.

          Youre failing to see what OP husband did wrong and rather focusing on the wife asking for a divorce because she didn't want her husband to marry another person. He divorced her, not the other way around and without waiting, married his sister-in-law and ran away 4 days later. "Islamically speaking", there is the Iddat or waiting period of 30 days before a divorce is finalized. Did he follow that?

          I apologize if I'm only singling you out but this pertains to everyone. Peace upon you.

  4. Dear Sister: The man you may or may not be married to does not deserve the right to do your laundry or put your garbage out. He has been sneaking around having conversations with other women and then runs off with your sister. He may have planned the visit to your parents, with the intent to leave you and pick up your sister. No one meets someone and in two or three days marries them. What your husband and sister did was already planned. He took her and then tried her out and now has changed his mind. Why do you want someone who treats you this way? Ask your parents to hire a mover to pick up your personal items and any furniture you want and make sure he is not present when they are retrieved. Aside from giving you your salaams, you may have every right to never speak to your sister again. She committed adultery with your husband.

    None of what you wrote about has anything to do with polygamy. Having secret conversations with a woman is not Islamic in any way. Running off with your wife's sister is not "polygamy". A man can not be married to sisters simultaneously, at any time. Polygamy may be legal for a man, but he can not divorce you on Monday and marry your sister on Wednesday. There is a waiting period for a woman [Iddah] and until the waiting period is completed the man and woman are still married.

    A man telling his wife that he wants three more wives is on some kind ego trip, delusional or seriously confused. What may be jokingly called a man who is a legend in his own mind. He may be seeking something that may not even exist -- a perfect woman -- or at least what he thinks is a perfect wife. And unless he is a perfect man or close, based on his behavior he may not even be deserving of one wife who tolerates him or can't stand to be in the same room with him. When men who are having typical problems in their marriage decided to get another wife thinking things will get better, they are not being fair to the first wife since she is still with the person she has problems with, not a new man. And the new wife, if she is smart, will take into consideration that her husband may have grown tired of the first, she is the new replacement, and will be just like Wife #1 in a few years married to a man being on an ego trip, delusional or just plain unkind and cruel.

    I would suggest you get a lawyer to serve your best interests with regard to your maintenance and support, child support and keeping your possessions. Please do not return to him. He treated you like garbage and now that he has used your own sister, he changes his mind? Not worth it.

  5. A person cannot marry two sisters at the same time as per Islam. Please check below translation of Surah Nisa verse 23 and correct if i am wrong.

    “Prohibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your [milk] mothers who nursed you, your sisters through nursing, your wives' mothers, and your step-daughters under your guardianship [born] of your wives unto whom you have gone in. But if you have not gone in unto them, there is no sin upon you. And [also prohibited are] the wives of your sons who are from your [own] loins, and that you take [in marriage] two sisters simultaneously, except for what has already occurred. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.”

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