Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband shows no love and doesn’t follow much of Islam

Unhappy marriage

I have known the person I am married for a long time now. But he has changed a lot before and after marriage. I just need to understand certain things as this is just ruining our marriage.

My husband doesnt support me in any statement I tell him no matter what so ever. Even though he's done a mistake he will never come and say sorry to me. Though the moment I realise I have done a mistake I will always come and say sorry. We can be such a happy family but my husband shows no love at all what so ever. He is always playing with my son, but that too not for long. He hates mornings, he doesn't like to get up for fajr, he doesn't take us out much. I am always at home.

I do so many things to make him happy. Sometimes before he has said i will have done the thing that makes him happy. I have sacrificed a lot all through these years in marriage but my husband doesnt appreciate anything I do. He never says anything good about me. My question in my head always remains: if he did not love me then why did he get married?

I have left the house two times and twice he's called me back only to know later its becoz of the baby. I am so tired of doing things for him, not being appreciated, and losing out on my life.

He doesn't follow much of Islam at all. Even though i give him the push he doesn't. He is too lazy to follow any set of rules. I dont know how many more questions i have.

I'm just so worried my sons life. I need to figure this out right. Please can you advice islamically. I dont want to hurt him as well.
But i need to know will they ever change?

Will he ever appreciate me?
Will he ever love this marriage?
Will he turn out to be a good father or husband?

I'm so lost if you ask me anything i am just so broken.
Pls help me.


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3 Responses »

  1. SALAM.Welcome to the world of tests.You didn't know that when a little Iman comes Allah tests you.He wants you to come closer and it takes sacrifices patients will power.Iman will determine his faith.Study hard and have a schedule keep balance send your kidz to madressah full time. .Deeni environment is important.Remind your husband but never get mad. If you want Allah's help obey his commandments read quran daily and keep away from all types of HARAM. Inshallah you'll will be blessed in both of the world's. Your husband is going through menopause or most likely jinn involved.Read manzil and blow 3 times into water make him drink it. These are selected dias from the prophet to cure blk magic or spells etc.....learn the benifits and apply. Just Google it.Most of all seek advice from sunni scholars who spent years in learning quran hadith .These people will give you sound advice and direction.We all are in need .Do not get info from regular people especially sites that potrait Islam but wrong teaching...?I have every right to say because I was a non Muslim who became Muslim studied Islam in England and married an Alima. Hanifi school of thought is 1 of 4 major schools that the sunni follows.

  2. Sister,

    its very sad to hear of this, reality is...everyone has problems.
    Some young men and women cant find their soul mates and end up making mistakes that make them sinful and hated in society...some people who get not have children...some people lead perfect lives and discover one morning that they have a terminal illness and on and on...

    Not saying yours is insignificant...i just wish to say that please pray to Allah...pray your namaz strictly...dont nag him, have you tried asking him what his problem is? is he upset? health he discover he has interest in some other etc whatever im just shooting ideas...

    Ask him and please get out of your mindset of being the hurt party/victim and try your the best for your husband with out complaints...always have a smile on your face when you are with him.
    And lastly...recite the 3 Quls in the sequence as directed by the Prophet Mohammed (S.A.W.S.). There could be some dark magic at work here...not sure.

    Hope that helps sis.

  3. Dear sister,
    I think i may have a good solution.I do know for sure you show a lot of love for your husband by what you have said. But he does not appreciate it or enjoy much. He doesn't know how to be happy at this point from the sounds of it and is dragging you down with him in his depression. I believe your husband is depressed and may have a chemical imbalance. A sign of depression is not enjoying things you once did, having negative feelings, feel hopeless and yes become lazy and give up hope. So my advice would be that your husband try a antidepressant medication. If he is willing to try this, then it could help him and therfore save your marriage and your family well being. Best wishes.

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