Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My life compared to hers…

Hijabi woman with veil drawn over her face, half face

Salam,

I don't know where to start but here it goes. I'm comparing my life to one of my friends. I know people say never to compare your life to others but I feel like me and her are at the say point in life same age same background etc.....

In high school my friend was the one who never study who never came to class who skips slot who smoked who did drugs and she was also having alot of boyfriends and at one point I remember she was pregnant and got an abortion too. She was not a good girl but I was still friends with her she told me she never wanted to get education just wanted to do drugs and go after guys ect. I was the complete opposite of her as I always cared about my education went to class did volunteer and always studied I always kept to myself and never ever had a boyfriend or did anything and Allah knows my heart was pure of gold I always seen good in people I kept to myself I was shy and caring and had small group of friends..

now it's about ten years in the future and I only competed one year of college and that is going nowhere (I have a learning disability) so it's hard for me. I've been in college switching programs for about 4 years but only really completed one year it's sad but true. Where as my friend completed a year of hair styling and now she has been working for the past couple of years and has good income and I'm still working for low income.

I also got married last year and my marriage only lasted for two months and ended in divorce and that was the first guy I've been with. My friend got married for two years now and has a baby and house and good life. I'm sitting here at my parents and thinking why me?

I don't understand this life I was a good girl and I've been through a lot I thought I deserved the best where as my friend did the bad and got good life! I don't understand this life or these test ?!

Prettyface

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8 Responses »

  1. I have been there. I studied. Never had a boyfriend but have a hard married life. Financial difficulties. Life is unfair and hard. Just pray and stay good and believe that Allah will have your reward inshallah..

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  3. Dearest sister, life is full of disappointments and hardships. We don't always get what we feel we deserve or wish for. In a perfect world, the pious and hardworking will prosper emotionally and financially, but we know that's not true. The life your friend is living now is the life that was destined for her. The life you are living was destined for you -- for now. You do have the ability to change things. Find a better job, go to a trade school if you find college difficult. You may find great satisfaction in doing volunteer work. We make the best out of the situation and circumstances we find ourselves in, and change what we can. Stay strong sister.

  4. Dear Sister, please read the translation of Surah Yousaf in quran. There is a lesson for all of us, and you will find your answer as well. Fe aman ALLAH

  5. Salam sister,
    I think there are some crucial pieces of information that you may be skipping in your comparison...how about the fact that she killed a baby already and will only have the joy of this life, and never joy in the hereafter??

    This is a textbook example of why we should not compare our lives to others. Right now it may look like she has her "happily ever after" ending, while you are still waiting on yours. But on the judgement day tou will have a fair chance at janat, while she will not...so be nice to her and just remember that this is the only short few years of life that she will ever have the chance to be happy.

    In the meantime, focus yourself on Allah swt and getting His approval to go to janat. Do not let yourself fall into the same traps that she did. Constantly thank Allah swt for everything big and small in your life. Pray pray pray. Everything in your life is a test from Allah swt, and a much more important than you will ever take in college. Let go of your jealousy and focus on Allah swt, sister. You can get through this. Your "happily ever after" ending will come, inshAllah.

    Salam,
    Shereen

    • Hi sister,

      First of thanks for the advice and comment. It really helped and allowed me to see things from another point.

      I also want to say you told me to let go of my jealousy and the truth is I'm not jealous at all! She my friend and from the start I said I'm comparing my life to her nuthing to do with wanting to be her or being jealous bcuz I'm not at all.

      Thanks Prettyface

  6. I really can relate to you and your post everyday I ask myself the same thing life is unfair but it is a test for us all

  7. Salam..you see when there is no proper IMAN. .there is no guidance and direction of life. ..everything becomes blurry confusing ND shaitan does what he does best fills your heart with negativity. .Regardless if you were good...What is good? Good is praying 5 times a day Reading Quran daily getting involved with local Sunni mosque..women's chapter....helping community etc....This person is blessed in both of the world's. ...but the person who might everything is temporary. .there is no guarantee when Allah decides to take away a person's toys...but no doubt the person is cursed and it's heart is full of worries and stress....you just don't know that....true believers know that without obedience to Allah and implementing the teachings of prophet Muhammad S.a.w life would be very difficult. ..The outcome is you will lose both of the world's. ...that is the truth..So don't be fooled by what you see......for everything is just illusion...The companions gave everything just for the sake of Allah because they understood there purpose in life .Sister you must know this......AN idle man's brain is a devils workshop! Learn from the scholor. .mufti menk you tube it

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