Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I still hope, or not?

Young Muslim woman making dua

Aoa. may the blessings of Allah be upon us.

I'm very confused and I would appreciate any help from you guys. I had been in a relationship with a guy, but unfortunately we could not get married because of his family.

I did istakhara and it came out negative. After having no contact with him, I realized that haram relations can never get a positive result and that my being with him took me away from Allah. So in order to repent, I left everything that displeased Allah. My life has now changed and now I'm a practicing Muslim. In dua I do not ask Allah to grant me him. I ask Allah to make him pious first, give him hidayat and make us better for each other so that we may get married by Allah's will in a halal way.

I'm very sure that Allah will listen to my prayers, as I do not ask for a haram relationship or for him to come back to me. All I'm asking for is a pious husband (that I want him to be); the one who would complete half of my deen. And I just want to get married in a halal way. I dont want to contact him before marriage ever.

Recently I came to know that if istakhara comes out negative, then you cannot hope or pray for that person. I'm very confused now. I don't know if I should ask Allah for this, or should I keep quiet? I'm not asking for haram. I'm asking Allah to make it halal and beautiful for us, and make us pious. Is this wrong?


Tagged as: , , , , ,

7 Responses »

  1. Do you have online relationship only? Do you meet him secretly?

    • I don't know if I should ask Allah for this, or should I keep quiet? I'm not asking for haram. I'm asking Allah to make it halal and beautiful for us, and make us pious. Is this wrong?

      The OP is asking the above question, and I don't see the relevance of both of your questions.

      To the OP:

      Sister, I am not sure how you determined that your Isthikhara was negative because Isthikhara is not a result that necessarily comes from a dream. I would suggest that you read the information found on the following link:

      Furthermore, I think we should be careful about limiting one's du'as. Allah swt loves that we ask Him and rely on Him for our source of happiness and contentment. Recall that in Surah Fatiha, we say "It is You (Allah) that we worship and it is You (Allah) from whom we ask for help." So continue to ask Allah for a halal and successful relationship. Ask Allah for what He knows is best for you. The fact is, we don't know what is best for us, so rely on Allah in every way.

      May Allah bless you with what is best for you, Ameen.

  2. First of all you may start with telling what you see in istihara. Let us also comment it.

    Another thing when people change their direction Allah also change his decision about them (Rad 11) therefore you may fight for your love (being a good muslim and also help him to do it) and istihara again.
    You may change your bad luck hopefully.

  3. Hey...

    [Editor's note: If you need advice, please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. It might help to read the information on this website regarding istikhara.]

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    So long as you are making dua for something halal, and striving to live your life in accordance with Islamic teachings, then I personally can't see a problem with making dua for what you want. I think you've taken some very good steps towards strengthening your deen, MashaAllah.

    Whenever a Muslim makes dua, they do not leave empty-handed. Sometimes, we may be asking for something that would not be good for us, and in those situations we can rely on Allah to shield us from that thing and instead grant us something better in this life or the next.

    I'd advise that you continue to work on your deen, make dua, and ask Allah to guide you to a man who will be a pious husband and reliable partner for this life and the next, inshaAllah.

    Midnightmoon editor

Leave a Response