I want marry a christian girl, need help
Assalamu alikum,
I am Aslam , 21 from Tamilnadu,India. I want to marry a Christian girl, she is 20, I know this girl for 4 years. we both loving each other. she was my classmate before 3 years. we keep our relation through phone.Now we decided to marry by this year Inshallah,
The problem is , I want to marry her according to Islamic rule. but I don't know how, she is afraid to convert. she agreed to rise our children as Muslims, and she'll not hang photo of Jesus in our house, and she is ready to attend Islamic classes after marriage (she said she'll not go before marriage).
the above decisions except conversion are agreed unconditionally.
1. What I want to do now? I know a girl wants permission of her parents. but for sure , the catholic family will not support our relation. is there any conditions to marry without permission of girl's parents?
2. How perform nikah ? Is nikah performed before conversion valid? should I perform nikah in masjid? And how can I get imam's approval?
I ask this because I have only very less knowledge about Islam, But I want my marriage halal in-front of Allah almighty s.w.t .
I welcome your answers on this matter, May Allah Bless You.
Peace467.
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I don't know how to advice you since you clearly said her parents wont allow but anyways i will try. To answer you question...
Marriages between Muslims and non-Muslims are discouraged. However, a Muslim man is allowed to marry to christian or jewish women without the wife converting to Islam. As far I know her wali has to be her father, otherwise marriage will be not valid.....
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I know that if she is Catholic, she does not need any formal permission from her parents to marry, although its respectful and better to receive her parents blessings anyway. But permission to marry is not required in her faith. As far as the nikkah goes, I think the general rule is that she still needs a wali. Since hre father is Catholic (and Im guessing so is the rest of her extended family), she is going to need to find someone who is Muslim to act as her wali since her father cannot do it. So take her to the masjid and find someone trusted that act on her behalf.
Technically, you can do all this, validly, without her parents permission since they are Catholic, but why start the marriage off on the wrong foot??
"Hmm", your information is incorrect. According to IslamQA.info:
The guardian of a Christian or Jewish woman is a male relative who is a follower of the same religion: her father, grandfather or brother… If there is no such relative or he refuses, then her marriage contract is to be done by the Muslim judge if there is one; if not, her marriage should be done by the director of the Islamic Centre in her locality, because the basic principle with regard to guardianship in the case of marriage is that it belongs to the father, then to male relatives, the closest then the next closest. If there are no male relatives or they are not qualified to be guardians for any reason, or if they refuse for no good reason, then guardianship passes to the ruler or one who takes his place.
Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah, 18/162
From A Christian woman married a Muslim without a wali (guardian); is her marriage valid?
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamu'alaikum,
Brother, I personally discourage Muslims from marrying women from the people of the book. Your relation is based on the so-called "love" and it will take you away from Allah, than closer to Him.
You yourself said you have less knowledge of Islam. Would you not like a wife who helps you learn the deen and learn along with you? Would you not like a wife who is pleased with her Creator and strives for His Pleasure?
Additionally, Christians (Catholics) in India are better called polytheist. They do not only worship trinity (which is shirk in itself) but they worship a lot more. They have churches for saints who are worshipped therein, they have idols of what they call angels and they are held in high reverence just like the Hindus do.
Your relationship, from where I can see, will be destructive to your Dunya and your Aakhirah. Although Nikah with a Christian woman is allowable according to an Aayah in Quran, it is something I highly discourage people from doing. Marry a Muslim woman instead. There are numerous Muslim women in Tamil Nadu who are unmarried and are much better than this woman you are seeing.
Love is a disease when it is in disobedience to Allah. The cure is difficult but if not cured, it will eat you up until it destroys you totally. So, take heed before it is too late, and May Allah Guide you.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
It is permissible for a Muslim male to get married to a non-Muslim female but not vice versa on the condition that you talk to her about islam always. 1st of all do not go to their pastors because remember Allah says in the Qur'an "for those who reject faith(Islam), it is the same to them whether you warn them or do not warn them they will not believe." its best to go to people who is on the straight path and also with the correct knowledge. The way to get married in Islam is in the house of Allah, and obviously she must not be there only her father or guardian and witnesses. Allah has made it very easy for us to get married. She does not have to convert before marriage to get married to you but also this should not stop her from being a Muslim before getting married because death can come upon us at any time and you don't want to miss out on being on the straight path because remember when you turn Muslim it is as you are a new born child, clean of sin. If the imaam is a proper imaam and has the correct knowledge, nothing will stop him from marrying the two of you. Just remember do everything the Islamic way because you do not want to have more unnecessary bad deeds. Insha-Allah Allah will make it easy for you-Aameen