Islamic marriage advice and family advice

5 weeks pregnant revert …help!

abortion

May Allah grant us all with the beautiful blessing of parenthood, aameen.

Asalam alaykum
I'm a revert who is 5 weeks pregnant Alhamdulillah. My boyfriend who is also muslim wants me too have a abortion as he says we are not financially stable.
We do have plans too marry and start a family but he says not yet, we are not ready.
I want this baby, its my first pregnancy, I dont want too kill our baby. I'm so confused and I need advice.
Is it haraam too keep a baby outside of marriage? Would I be sinning if I keep our baby?
He tried too make me choose him or the baby, but I've told him I want this so bad. I would hate too resent him if he made me go through with the abortion.
I'm ready too have this baby and love it unconditionally. Its inside me and I feel taking its life would be terrible.

NafeesaYasmine

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7 Responses »

  1. OP: I'm a revert who is 5 weeks pregnant Alhamdulillah. My boyfriend who is also muslim wants me too have a abortion as he says we are not financially stable. We do have plans too marry and start a family but he says not yet, we are not ready.

    Where is your b/f from? Are you helping him with immigration? Be careful you may have a plan to marry, your b/f may have some other plans.

    Abortion is a murder.

    What plans you have to get married and start a family? Have you met his family? Does his family know you both want to get married.

    How old is your b/f? How long you have been with him?

  2. Wa Alaykum Salaam, Alhamdulillah for your guidance to Islam but I think a lot of things are going wrong here. You haven't been seeking knowledge about Islam from the right source. I would guess this boyfriend of yours was the one who invited you to Islam and he has been your Sheikh ever since? Pardon me pls bt my reason is that, where in Islam did u ever read it with evidence from the prophet, companions and our noble scholars that you can have a boyfriend? And again sleep with him outside marriage? may ALLAH forgive you and this boyfriend of yours because he has brought into Islam what is not part of Islam. Now in as much as fornication is the case here and it is a sin, you are not allowed under any such circumstance to abort the baby because it is not the baby that is guilty here, you both brought it upon yourselves. Pls do not abort, it brings nothing but the wrath of ALLAH. You would regret ever doing so. It doesn't end well believe me. may ALLAH mk it easy for you to do that which is pleasing to him and may He forgive u of your shortcomings. But I tell u sis, I don't think this guy is even ready to marry u, if u thought marriage was coming and u were consoling yourself with that, I don't see it coming. He's actingg like u r simply an amusement or pastime for him. And ALLAH knows best

  3. A similar question was asked under the general supervision of Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid Of Islam Q&A

    11195: Commited Adultery and Wants to Abort Foetus
    I am a Muslim single person who lives in the USA. I committed adultery many times with the same woman. Now the woman is pregnant. I would like to know if I can marry her in order to solve the problem (I mean cover the scandal) so the baby will find a father and gets the name. Actually, unfortunately, I would prefer abortion and I wish to convince her to do that, but don't know if this is considered killing a person. If so, I would feel guilty because of that. I believe the embryo is about 6-8 weeks. Please, I need your help as soon as possible.
    Published Date: 2008-05-06
    Praise be to Allah

    Firstly, my brother in Islam, I offer you my condolences for the faith that you lost during the times when you were committing adultery. For the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When an adulterer commits illegal sexual intercourse, then he is not a believer at the time he is doing it, and when a drinker of an alcoholic liquor drinks it, then he is not a believer at the time of drinking it, and when a thief steals, then he is not a believer at the time of stealing, and when a robber robs, and the people look at him, then he is not a believer at the time of doing robbery.” (al-Bukhari) 

    Have you not read what your Lord says in His Book? 

    “And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Fahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him).”

    [17:32 – interpretation of the meaning] 

    Do you not know that Allah sees you wherever you are, and He hears you when you speak? 

    Do you not remember the great blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you? For He is the One Who heals you when you are sick, the One Who feeds you when you are hungry and gives you to drink when you are thirsty. And He has given you the greatest blessing that He has bestowed upon mankind, the blessing of Islam.

    “Is there any reward for good – other than good?” [55:60 – interpretation of the meaning] 

    My brother, ask yourself: Whose dominion do you live under? Whose provision do you eat from? By Whose command do you live? Is it not the dominion of Allah, the provision of Allah, the command of Allah? So how can you disobey Allah? 

    Perhaps you have forgotten the hadeeth (narration) of the Mi’raj (ascension), in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

    “… then we proceeded and came to something like a tannoor (a kind of oven).” [The narrator] said: “I think he said, ‘in which there were clamouring voices.’” He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)] said: “We looked into it and there we saw naked men and women. Flames were coming to them from the bottom of it, and when the flames reached them, they made an uproar. I said to them [i.e., the two angels who were accompanying him], ‘Who are these?’ They said, ‘Proceed, proceed!’… I said to them, ‘I have seen strange things this night. What is this that I have seen?’ They said, ‘We will tell you…. The naked men and women in the structure that resembled a tannoor oven are the adulterers and adulteresses.’”

    (Narrated by al-Bukhari). 

    So you must hasten to repent sincerely before death overtakes you, for the gate of repentance is open until the sun rises from the west or before the soul reaches the throat [at death]. Allah rejoices over the repentance of His slave, and He will change his bad deeds (sayyiat) into good deeds (hasanat). Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

    “And those who invoke not any other ilah (god) along with Allah, nor kill such a person as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.

    The torment will be doubled for him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;

    Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful.

    And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allah with true repentance.”

    [25:68-71] 

    Secondly, with regard to your question, “Do I have to marry her?”: this is the issue of the adulterer marrying the woman with whom he committed adultery. The answer is that it is not permissible for him (the adulterer) to marry her, or for her to marry him, until the label of adultery no longer applies to them. That label can only be removed through repentance. 

    It is not permissible for you to marry her even if she is Jewish or Christian, because she is a zaniyah (adulteress). Even if she is Muslim, it is not permissible for you to marry her because she is a zaniyah. And it is not permissible for her to accept you as a husband because you are a zani (adulterer). Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

    “The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a polytheist; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicator or a polytheist [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (male polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism).” [24:3] 

    The phrase “Such a thing is forbidden to the believers” indicates that this marriage is forbidden. 

    “It is essential that both of you repent to Allah, give up this sin, regret the evil actions that have occurred in the past, resolve not to return to them, and do many righteous deeds, so that Allah may accept your repentance and turn your bad deeds (sayyiat) into good deeds (hasanat). Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

    ‘And those who invoke not any other ilah (god) along with Allah, nor kill such a person as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.

    The torment will be doubled for him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;

    Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful.

    And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allah with true repentance.”

    [25:68-71] 

    If you want to marry her, you have to be sure that she is not pregnant by waiting to see if she menstruates. If it becomes apparent that she is pregnant, it is not permissible for you to marry her until after she delivers the baby, in accordance with the hadeeth (narration) of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), in which he forbade a man to use his water to irrigate the crops of another.” 

    (Fatwas of the Standing Committee in al-Buhooth al-Islamiyyah magazine) 

    Thirdly, you say, “so the baby will find a father and gets the name.” This is the matter of attributing the child of adultery: who is he to be named after? 

    The answer is that the majority of scholars have said that the child of adultery should not be named after the adulterer, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The child goes to the owner of the bed and the adulterer gets nothing but the stones (despair, i.e., to be stoned to death).” (Agreed upon.) 

    Fourthly, you say, that you would prefer the woman to get rid of the baby. This is the issue of abortion, and the ruling on that is as stated in the report of the Committee of Senior Scholars (Hay at Kibar al-‘Ulama) which is as follows: 

    “1 – It is not permissible to abort the pregnancy at any of its various stages except for a legitimate shar’i (legal) reason, and within very narrow limits.

    2 – If the pregnancy is in the first stage, which is forty days, and aborting it will serve a legitimate shar’i interest or ward off some harm, then it is permissible to abort it. But aborting it at this stage for fear of difficulty in bringing up children or in providing for them or teaching them, or fear for their future, or because the couple feel that they have enough children – this is not permitted.

    3 – It is not permissible to abort the pregnancy once it has become an ‘alaqah (clot) or mudghah (chewed lump of flesh) [i.e., after 40 days’ gestation] unless a trustworthy medical committee has stated that allowing the pregnancy to continue poses a danger to the health of the mother, such that there is the fear that she will die if the pregnancy continues. In this case it is permissible to abort the pregnancy, after exhausting all other means of trying to ward off that danger. 

    After the third stage, and after the completion of four months of pregnancy, it is not permissible for you to abort the pregnancy unless a group of trustworthy specialist doctors decide that leaving the foetus in his mother’s womb will lead to the death of the mother; this is after exhausting all possible means of keeping the foetus alive. Performing an abortion subject to these conditions is permitted in order to ward off the greater of the two harms, and to preserve the greater of the two interests.” 

    (Quoted from al-Fatawa al-Jami’ah) 

    We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound and to accept our repentance.

    May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

    Shaykh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

    Source: https://islamqa.info/en/11195

  4. If u 5 month pregnant then quickly nikah with ur bf ...because of its good for u and ur baby. if u ready to abortion then its haram or god is not given this shifa every one dear ur are the good one ......

  5. Salaam alikum,
    I am not going to talk about what the others ahve already spoken about. The only thing I would like to say is that, in my experience, after taking care of so many women (no matter what religion they were) ho have had abortions(no matter what religion they were) , they all have despised themselves and NEVER forgiven themselves for doing so. Most of these women were pressured into doing so by boyfriends/husbands. The relationship usually does not survive as well as there is that hatred present as well. Speaking with women decades later who had abortions in their earlier life, they still hate themselves and wish they could turn back the hands of time and not do the abortion again. Please consider this as well..
    Finally, if you do decide to have the baby and want to give it up, please contact me as I know Musllim parents who are not able to have children and would love to have a baby. (Admin, please give her my contact info if she decides on this option or any other woman who decides on this option.)
    The best of luck to you.
    I wish you the best of luck.

  6. Boyfriend ? In islam this cannot happen this is going against what prophet Muhammad taught.....The angels Curse on those who live a life unpure uncleanness unholy unshamely..

    .Now you SHAITAN becomes the 3rd and says look get rid of the humanbeing...shame on all who practice this..what will this child say on the day of judgement. ...You are the mother you are the one who is bonded to this creation of Allah ...Why? Your friend is a weak muslim who probably thinks he's got it all planned out because he thinks he's smart....let me tell you and understand this besides I am a new muslim 11YRS now married to a sunni scholor so I am saying this of concern! 1st A idle man's brain is a devils workshop..2nd Allah is the one who knows and controls everything although you have the freewill.......Those humanbeings who live a life of fun n games and disobey Allah's commandments and teachings of prophet Muhammad PBUH will get there hard life in this world regardless of his hers intelligence or wealth. ALLAH FILL THERE HEART WITH WORRIES STRESS AND he will die in such a bad state that he will never die.. This is fact !

  7. Dear NafeesaYasamine sis,

    Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:
    "If you were to rely on Allah as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for the birds. They go out early in the morning hungry and return in the evening full.’” – Narrated by at-Tirmidhi

    And Allah swt says in the Quran:
    “And whoever fears Allah, for him Allah brings forth a way out, and gives him provision (rizq) from where he does not even imagine…” (Surah At-Talaq: 2/3)

    Therefore, dear sister, please have some taqwa and do not get rid of your baby. Please don't.do abortion. Please don't.

    Repent to Allah swt for your sins. And day by day become.better muslim. And raise your child in shaa Allah in good environment.

    Please do not marry this guy if he is not supportive of your good choices. You need someone hard working, responsible and God-fearing in your life, in shaa Allah.

    May Allah swt make it easy for you, ameen. And once again please do not get rid of your baby because Allah swt again says in the Quran:

    "And do not kill your children for fear of poverty: We give them sustenance and yourselves (too): surely to kill them is a great wrong." (Quran 17:31)

    ^ Please don't do great wrong ...

    best wishes,

    Your sister, Me

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