Please help me in becoming a better Muslim
AI want to be better Muslim
Asalam o alaikum.
I am a 19 year old Muslim girl . I have made many major and minor sins/ mistakes in my life , but have always asked for taubah to ALLAH.
Alhamduliah after performing Umrah, now i pray 5 times a day and also started wearing hijab and cover myself . It has been almost a year. I am getting closer to Islam day by day, But the problem is the more i get close , the shaytan keeps distracting me from doing ibadat and tries to pull me back from Islam.
I dont know know i keep falling for it , i never left my prayers after Umrah ALHAMDULILAH , but i feel guilty of doing other bad deeds like listening to music , singing, looking and chatting with non- mahrams not anything bad but casual and friendly chats (which i know is haram too), backbiting, saying bad words. I ask for taubah after evry namaz but still i continue to do this every day.
It is very frustrating for me, i cant help myself i try so hard. I delete evrything from my phone , fb and all try cutting, blocking all communication ways but the next day i start again. I dont know why i am not being strong enough to get rid of these bad habits.
I want to get married and dua after every prayer that ALLah can find a good muslim man for me but that depends upon Allah and i have to be patient. I feel very guilty and ashamed of myself when i wear the hijab because i am not following the basic rule of the purpose of hijab and dont lower my gaze.
Another problem is that my brothers and sisters are not regular in prayers, i tell them to pray but they just dont listen to me. They would just pray one namaz and forget . I am tired and also embarrased by telling them to pray and remember ALLAH , becuz they just insult me and tell me not to act like a preacher of Islam . I get so many taunts from them and i feel bad disturbing them .
I know i dont have complete knowledge of Islam , and also i feel like i am not standing in a position to tell them what to do since i do soooo many bad deeds along praying 5 times a day and reading Quran.
I want to be a good muslim and be pure of all these sins but in this modern society with music all around evrywhere you go, and backbiting, and laughing , looking at guys etc etc when evryone else does it around me , it is soo hard for me to avoid it .
PLease tell me what to do im so confused. I just want to follow Islam in a good way but it is so hard with evryone else around me doing the opposite .
Thanks in advance for your advice
- Noorah
19 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Just the fact sister that u want to please God and be a good muslim is great! IT IS HARD IN todays society...How I handle this is by being careful who I hang around...and what things I allow in my home....surround yourself with good people of your faith ask them to help u and to hold u accountable and most of all pray and ask God for help....blessings...smiles.
Assalam u alaikum wr wb sister in Islam...
I really totally understand what situation your in right now and how it feels, because me myself is like that. I do major sins and and minor sins every single day and I do wear Hijab and Alhumdulilah do offer Salah and I feel ashamed wearing hijab and offering salah I do really shameful acts.
May ALLAH pak bless you and your family and me and my family May ALLAH bless whole Ummah!
And I know how hard it is when you're surroundings are modern and worldly cauz I am in the same situation again!
Sister...dont be ashamed of wearing hijaab...a women is always looked on better when she is covered!...DO it for God not for man....ur reward will be great...blessings.
But sister don't give up fight, fight with shaytaan until your last breath, once you let shaytaan find ur weak point it will keep attacking you!
please fight with it.
Salam sis,
I'm so proud you are so young and practicing. In today's world it is hard and myself when I get tempted I just say "subhanAllah" as much as I can and Allah swt protects me always. I agree with sister above that suggested you change your surroundings as this helps a lot. May Allah guide us all and bless us.
Don't worry about your siblings you lead by example and they will surely follow, we can't always preach cause sometimes we say things in a manner and state of emotion that can turn one away from faith on account of shaitan so just pray for them sister it's the most powerful tool you have in Islam. MashaAllah you are do young it's so refreshing to know you pray 5 times and want to grow. We all sin and as long as we make sincere tawbah Allah sweet will forgive and no one can judge you but He. You are the age of my little sister on the same path as you Alhamdulilah and I always tell her this and will tell you, if you wanna be the best you gotta surround yourself with the best.
May Allah bless you your family me and my family and all the believers around the world and forgive us all for the sins we have committed and the ones we are about to commit as no human is without sin.
same here, i feel bad that i wear the Hijab and i disobey Allah everyday 🙁 sometimes i wanna take it off because i feel i am not worthy of it.
ASSALAMALAIKUM-
Same here, i feel bad that i wear the Hijab and i disobey Allah everyday sometimes i wanna take it off because i feel i am not worthy of it.
THIS REPLY FOR NOORA AND OTHERS FOR THEIR HIGH STATUS FOR PRACTICING OF HIJAB-FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH AND THE BENEFITS-
Yes! This is the same "Veil/Purdah" which Europe loathes and detests, and the very vision of which weighs heavily on the Western conscience.
"Every religion has a morality, and the morality of Islam is Haya (Shyness)".
It is not befitting for a believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Apostle, to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Apostle, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path. (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:36)
If you think Hijab is an act of submission, you are right! It is a way to submit to God. Like any other act of worship, the rewards of Hijab come only when it is done for Allah alone.
Hijab is to please Allah,doing it for tradition is wrong.
Hijab is a 'challenge to the political system'
While Hijab may have political implications, as evident in the banning of Hijab in certain countries, Muslim women who choose to practice Hijab are not doing it to challenge the political system. Islam encourages men and women to observe modesty in private and public life. Hijab is an individual's act of faith and religious expression.
I am liberated from slavery to 'physical perfection'
Society makes women desire to become 'perfect objects'. The multitudes of alluring fashion magazines and cosmetic surgeries show women's enslavement to beauty. The entertainment industry pressures teens to believe that for clothes, less is better. When we wear Hijab, we vow to liberate ourselves from such desires and serve only God.
I don't let others judge me by my hair and curves!
In schools and professional environments, women are often judged by their looks or bodies-characteristics they neither chose nor created. Hijab forces society to judge women for their value as human beings, with intellect, principles, and feelings. A woman in Hijab sends a message, "Deal with my brain, not my body!"
I feel empowered and confident
In contrast to today's teenage culture, where anorexia and suicide are on the rise, as women attempt to reach an unattainable ideal of beauty,Hijab frees a woman from the pressure to 'fit in'. She does not have to worry about wearing the right kind of jeans or the right shade of eyeshadow. She can feel secure about her appearance because she cares to please only Allah.
I feel the bond of unity-
Hijab identifies us as Muslims and encourages other Muslim sisters to greet us with the salutation of peace, "Assalamu Alaikum". Hijab draws others to us and immerses us in good company.
In some Arabic-speaking countries and Western countries, the word hijab primarily refers to women's head and body covering, but in Islamic scholarship, hijab is given the wider meaning of modesty, privacy, and morality. The word used in the Qur'an for a headscarf or veil is khimār.
AND WERAING A SCARF IS NOT HIJAB WHICH IS TODAYS TREND IN ALL COUNTIRES-ALONG WITH JEANS TIGHT DRESSES AND COLORFUL ATTRACTIVE DECORATION MISUNDERSTANING THAT WE ARE DOING HIJAB WRONG IS OUR JUDGEMENT-Visiting Aishah while Asma was wearing a dress that was not thick enough. He turned his face away in anger and said:
"If the woman reaches the age of puberty, no part of her body should be seen, but this," and he pointed to his face and his hands.
Walaikumassalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.
_______________
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And surely, We created you (your father Adam) and then gave you shape (the noble shape of a human being); then We told the angels, ‘Prostrate yourselves to Adam’, and they prostrated themselves, except Iblees (Satan), he refused to be of those who prostrated themselves.
(Allaah) said: ‘What prevented you (O Iblees) that you did not prostrate yourself, when I commanded you?’ Iblees said: ‘I am better than him (Adam), You created me from fire, and him You created from clay.’
(Allaah) said: ‘(O Iblees) get down from this (Paradise), it is not for you to be arrogant here. Get out, for you are of those humiliated and disgraced.’
(Iblees) said: ‘Allow me respite till the Day they are raised up (i.e. the Day of Resurrection).’
(Allaah) said: ‘You are of those respited.’
(Iblees) said: ‘Because You have sent me astray, surely, I will sit in wait against them (human beings) on Your straight path.
Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You).’
(Allaah) said (to Iblees): ‘Get out from this (Paradise), disgraced and expelled. Whoever of them (mankind) will follow you, then surely, I will fill Hell with you all.’”
Quran [al-A’raaf 7:11-18]
__________________________
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
Surely, Shaitan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so take (treat) him as an enemy. He only invites his Hizb (followers) that they may become the dwellers of the blazing Fire.
Quran [Surat Fāţir 35:6 ]
___________________________
Know your enemy(shaitan/satan) and be careful of his traps like music, free mixing with non mahrams, and many other things
I know many people who have changed for the sake of Allah. alhamdulillah.
Some were so much lost in music, talking or roaming with non mahrams and other things. But alhamdulillah they have changed now.
(1) I know of one who struggled so much to give up listening to music.
he got to know music is haraam and had to stop listening to it so he tried to download softwares to remove the music and just keep the singing without musical instruments. But Alhamdulillah he failed.
Before, If someone had played a song to him repeatedly he could just go on listening to it. But if someone played the recitation of the quran. It was like a burden for him after sometime. He could hardly listen to it for few minutes.
But Alhamdulillah he has changed now and he stopped listening to music and he hates it now. subhanAllah.
(2) see if you really think that you can handle facebook (the fitna present over there) and use it in a way that will be good for your duniya and akhirah. See whether it has benefits for you or harms for you (by making you weak in religious commitments).
If you feel that facebook is taking you away from Islam then just go and delete the account permanently (not disable the account but delete facebook . com/help/224562897555674).
(3)make friends with religiously committed sisters. inshaAllah that will be really helpful.
You just need to stay strong and try to give up what ever is haraam. do it for the sake of Allah. ask Allah to help you.
Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will compensate him with something better than it.
_________________
May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!
Masha Allah you are making good strides in your faith. Please do not give up encouraging your brothers and sisters to come towards the deen. Insha Allah you will find a good spouse.You are still young, so keep trust in Allah WT and may he make things better for you Insha Allah. Don't worry about your sins sister, for Allah's mercy is greater than that of a mother's mercy to her child.
Salams Sister
I understand how your feeling in todays society. But I think you need to look at the bigger picture, either be it music, free mixing always keep in mind this world is temporary so the pleasures are not worth it. Literally. And have fear in allah. To fear Allah watch lectures and video of his punishments, the consequences of doing such things, death, when your in your grave. Slowly in time as I watched lectures/ videos like this the fear of Allah grew inside me Subhanallah. Also you can do the opposite learn, seek watch lectures articels on his rewards for obeying Allahs swt commands.
Secondly, try replacing what you already do with the haram to halal things. this will take time and work. For example when you feel you have the urge to listen to music, for one minute listen to the verse of quran, or nasheeds. Listen to those abit day by day and you'll see the peace you get from this that music cant give you. All these are reminders, words of allah the lectures, nasheeds, quran verses. Implement them in your life bit by bit and watch how easy it becomes for you to leave the haraam behind.
Have patience and sincerly in your dua make dua for allah to make things easy for you. And he surely will with the right intention that you already have. Think practically, fear allah, make dua and implement slowly. This way your not forcing yourself in one day your slowly spiritually will be better off in the long term.
May Allah give you the strength
Ameen.
muslimah
you should listen to this.. " youtube . com/watch?v=4Ee3kH0Ox88 " Ruling on Nasheeds by Shaykh Dr. Saalih al Fawzaan [hafidhahuAllaah]
Shaykh Dr. Saalih al Fawzaan is from the Major Scholars of Islam today.
_________________
May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!
Sister....why is music haram?
There are different opinions about it, but some scholars hold that certain types of music are forbidden because they lead one away from praising God and reciting the Quran; also the subject matter of contemporary music is often inappropriate; and music typically accompanies haram activities like mixed-gender dancing, parties, drinking, etc.
There are Islamic "nasheeds" or songs that use voice and percussion only, and that praise God in various ways. Sort of the Islamic equivalent of Christian rock.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thanks..wael...that answered my question....blessings!
ASSALAMALAIKUM
WHY IS MUSIC HARAM-
ANSWER-
The truth about music in Islam in 10 Ahaadith
(1) Hadhrat Ibn Abbaas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrated: “The musical drum (tablah) is haraam. Liquor is haraam, and musical instruments are haraam.” (Kaf-fur Ruaa’)
(2) Hadhrat Ibn Mas’ud (radhiyallahu anhu) narrated: “Verily, Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) heard a man singing one night. He then said: ‘His Salaat is unacceptable! His Salaat is unacceptable! His Salaat is unacceptable!” (Nailul Autaar)
(3) Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Listening to music and singing is sinful. Sitting at such gatherings is fisq (immoral transgression). Deriving pleasure from it is kufr.“(Nailul Autaar)
(4) Hadhrat Ali (radhiyallahu anhu) narrated that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “I have been sent (by Allah) to destroy musical instruments……..The earning of a male singer and a female singer is haraam. The earning of zina is haraam. It is incumbent on Allah not to allow a body nourished by haraam, entry into Jahannum.”
(Kaf-fur Ruaa’) The evil of music and singing is sufficiently abominable to warrant it being lumped together with zina (fornication). one Hadith describes singing as “the spell of shaitaan.”
(5) Hadhrat Ibn Abbaas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrated that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “I have been sent (by Allah Ta’ala) to destroy the musical drum (tablah) and the flute.”
(Jam’ul Jawaami’) The tablah and other forms of musical drums are not to be confused with the duff for which there is limited permissibility.
(6) Hadhrat Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) narrated that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:“The earning of a singer is haraam and her singing is haraam.” (Nailul Autaar)
(7) Hadhrat Ali (radhiyallahu anhu) said: “Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) prohibited beating of the duff (drum) and the sound of the flute.”
(Nailul Autaar) From this Hadith as well as others, the ambiguity about the duff is eliminated. It is clear from several Ahaadith that the general ruling of prohibition applies to even the duff.However, an exception has been made for only the duff for the Days of Eid and marriage occasions provided no haraam acts are committed.
This Hadith has the effect of abrogation. It cancels out the other narrations in which the duff was allowed.
The fact that Hadhrat Ali (radhiyallahu anhu) and other Sahaabah too propagated the general prohibition of the duff even after the demise of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) is sufficient substantiation for the abrogating force of this Hadith as well as other Ahaadith which also mention the prohibition of the duff.
(8) Hadhrat Ali (radhiyallahu anhu) narrated: “Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) forbade beating the duff, playing the harp and blowing the flute.” (Kanzul Ummaal)
(9) Hadhrat Ibn Mas’ud (radhiyallahu anhu) narrated that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Verily, singing generates hypocrisy in the heart just as water causes farm-produce to grow”. (Baihqi)
(10) Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Love for singing germinates hypocrisy in the heart just as water causes plants to grow.
MUSIC – IT`S EFFECTS
Muslims are aware that nothing has been prohibited by Allah except that which is harmful to the welfare of a Muslim individual and the society as a whole. The divine attribute behind the prohibition of music can be comprehended by looking into the diverse influence music can have.
Experiments carried out by doctors and professors have confirmed that the music of today is such that it does not only affect the brain, but each and every organ of one`s body. There is a close relationship between music and bodily movements. We find that people listening to music automatically start tapping their fingers and feet, as if the music is permeating in their blood.
It is also proved that music affect`s one`s emotions, increases arousal in terms of alertness and excitement and also leads to various physiological changes in the person. In a psychology experiment, it was found that listening to moderate type of music increased one`s normal heart beat, whilst listening to rock music the heart beat increased even further, yet people claim that music has no effect.
It is a very ignorant and misguided attitude to percieve music as a form of pleasure and passing of time, since the messages of today`s music follow a general theme of love, fornication, drugs and freedom.
We find that the whole world is obsessed with the kufr idea of freedom, i.e. freedom of speech, freedom of movement, etc. In modern schools and universities, we observe independence, free expression and secular thinking being encouraged. This idea of freedom, “ It`s my life, I`ll do what I want” is a predominant, underlying theme of today`s music. It is being used as a means for drilling those modern ideologies that are totally contrary to Islamic Shariah and values, into the minds of Muslims.
One should abstain from evil audacities such as listening to music and encourage others to do the same too.
MAY ALMIGHTY ALLAH GUIDE US ALL TO THE STRAIGHT PATH-
AMEEN.
Assalamu'alaikum brother Ali Yousuff,
Your comment is inappropriate as it includes copy/pasted material from strange sources. Please check your sources before you copy and paste from anywhere on the internet. The books you quoted from are by personalities like ash Shawkani and as Suyooti and also some other Hanafi personalities.
Musical instruments are Haraam (with the exception of the hand drum - and you should read Imam Albani's sayings on the duff), it is the opinion of the Ahlus Sunnah because of the Ahaadeeth that have reached us. But we should not exaggerate and quote from everywhere, without knowing if it is authentic.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM BROTHER ABU ABDUL BARI-
SHUKRAN FOR OPENLY TELLING YOUR OPINION-
personalities like ash Shawkani and as Suyooti and also some other Hanafi personalities.
I RESPECT EVERYONE WHO FALL IN LINE WITH QURAN AND HADEES AND I DONT HAVE GRUDGE ON ANYONE AS LONG AS THEY DONT IMPOSE THEIR OIPIONS ON THE UMMAH AS PER THEIR WHIMS AND FANCIES-
But we should not exaggerate and quote from everywhere, without knowing if it is authentic.
ANSWER-
IF ANYONE GIVES EXPLANATION ON SOMETHING ON THE SAME LINES FROM QURAN AND HADEES AND IF IT WORTH WE CAN CONSIDER READING IT.
THE ABOVE REASON AND CONSIDERATION IS NOT EXAGGERATION UNLIKE THE KHAUL AND OPINIONS OF TAQLEED WHICH WAS FORMED IN 4TH HIJRI WHICH DO NOT STAND ANY CHANCE OF ACCEPTANCE AS THEY DONT HAVE EVIDENCE IN QURAN AND AUTHENTIC HADEES-"He who innovates something that is not in agreement with our matter (religion), will have it rejected." [Al-Bukharee and Muslim]
HOPE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE NOW-
REGARDS
ALI YOUSUFF
hello dear sister.......i am a teenager too i wz in da same position of u when i recently strtd 2 bcum religous.......but alwayz remember allah is alwayz with u.....when u do something bad alwayz remembr allah iz watching u...dont underestimate his power...i knw itz hard 2 change at once...juz start little by little...dnt delay my sis....bcuz dnt think of changing 2mrrw bcuz that 2mrrw might neva cum...
im juz a young teenagr and i dnt knw much bt i hope it will help u..
we say oh Allah, our sins have become so much, And Allah replies in the Qur'an "Who will forgive the sins of MAN except Allah?" We say oh Allah, do not leave us alone in this world And Allah replies " remember me and I will remember you" we say oh Allah, I have so many problems in this world, so many hardships and Allah replies "Who so ever fear Me I will give him the solution" we say oh Allah, I have so many dreams in this world, so many things I want to achieve in this world and Allah replies "call to me oh my slaves, call to me and I will respond to you" so do not let the shaytaan over come you or over power you... This religion of ours is very easy, it is complete...all the answers are in the Qur'an ... Stick to the Qur'an. And sunnah and nothing can go wrong