Can we marry without parents consent?
Sir,
I am in great trouble. I want to get married to a person whom I love, but his and my parents are not in agreement.
We are Muslim and belong to same community. We are independent and do not need anyone except Allah.
My parents want to get me married with another guy, but I want to get married with my friend whom I've known since I was 3 years old. He told me we can get married without the presence of our parents- does Islam permit such a kind of marriage?
zehra
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Assalamu alaykum Zehra,
Islamic marriages are marriages in honor, in proclamation to the society and not secret marriages.
5. This day are (all) good things made lawful for you. The food of those who have received the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received the Scripture before you (lawful for you) when ye give them their marriage portions and live with them in honour, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines. Whoso denieth the faith, his work is vain and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter. - Surah Al Maidaah.
So you see how marriage should be. Giving the marriage portions, dower, living in honor and not fornication nor as secret concubines.
The presence of a Wali or guardian with the girl ensures that she is not put under pressure or married by force by the guy. Her parents show their willingness to marry their daughter to someone and are supportive of her in this decision.
Many people have married in the hidden ways, got pregnant, messed up their lives and husbands have left them and parents have deserted them. So you better think about all this before taking any step. The risks are too many.
Also, love relations before marriage are no good from Islamic perspective. Liking a person should be converted in to marriage by the permission of Allah, but not the excessive love, admiration and "missing each other - meaning desiring company" that goes in to love relations should be something we Muslims should stay awan from by a large distance.
Sister Zehra Khan,
You take care, beware of the consequences of your actions. Your parents brought you up and so did his parents, Islam enjoins kindness towards parents and so you must consult them in kindness and try much to do things with their consent.
If you think they deny your marriage due to "unIslamic" reasons, then you should also see "how Islamic" you are in the love relation that came up and your response to it.
All in all, if they agree Alhamdulilllaah, if they reject marriage for no good reason, you may seek advice of a local Imaam and get married in honor and respect even in their absence.
Best is that you have them by your side. They are not your enemies.
Sometimes sabr is required to convince parents as well. Different people have different situations.
Beware of the risk involved is "secret" marriages.
May Allah make the best provision for you.
Salaam,
Your brother.