IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

Dear Sheikh,

My story is long and painful and I have tried my best to summarize it to give you the highlights. My name is Madiha, 25 years. My family was doing very well financially and we were far away from being call practicing muslims, but I was still living through a difficult time because my dad never understood how to behave with kids. He would treat us as grownups and put high level of responsibilities on me (For example giving me the task of finding a suitable home to shift in when I was 16). My mom did the same albeit intentionally and she always left me in times of pain.

We received a financial set back 10 years back and Alhumdolilah I understand that Allah is calling us towards Islam. My relatives made it worse with doing black magic on me (I used to dream of them doing evil things every night constantly for 2 years).

All my life that I have lived with my parents Allah knows I have done my best to support them morally and financially. But somehow I would keep ending up in a rut. Today I have no college degree (despite intellect), no friends and sadly not even one person in family and extended family who wants what is best for me.

I wanted to marry a guy who is God fearing and I found one by fate. We wanted to keep it a secret till he broke off his previous commitment (he was in an abusive relationship and I saw it with my own eyes) but prematurely my sister broke the news to my parents in Nov 2013 and they forced me to marry another man immediately and insulted that guy and his parents. My mom told them they have arranged my marriage somewhere. The guy I wanted to marry is called N.

I broke it off with the guy I was forced with because the guy was very fishy. This happened within a month of engagement. I was cursed and insulted by my family, my extended family and most of them rejoiced in my disrespect, which traumatized it even more for me.

On N's side, in order to help him from this trauma, his mother sent him medicines to sleep easily and expected to marry him as soon as he recovers to his previous commitment. But what happened was that the authorities suspected the medication and the matter went to court. Alhumdolilah all lab reports were clear and prescription attested but Dubai courts take very very long in resolving issues and this delay of one year has taken away his job as they have his passport.

I joined Quran classes beginning of 2013 and alhumdolilah began reciting duas for knowledge that is beneficial for me. Alhumdolilah Allah guided me and I realized that my mother has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as all the symptoms were very accurate to her behavior. This, although, saddened me, relieves me of why we never had a normal relationship with each other. N came closer to Allah too and broke off his commitment in August 2013 as cooperatively as he could as we don't want to hurt anyone.

It has been a year since I got separated from N and I am still in touch with him secretly. My parents r still looking for guys for me and all this scares me everytime. My mom never wants a good loving husband for me. She is searching for a poor family so that they dont have to arrange a big function. (despite my parents can afford a good wedding and I have said no to their dowry and no to a good function to make matters easier for them) and I understand this is not her heart but her NPD doing all this. I recite "hasbunAllahu wa ni'mal wakeel" everytime there is a proposal for me and Allah saves me.

My father is too simple and nobody in my family wants to understand and help one another. All of this only made us realize how much N and I value each other in our lives. With pure intention all we want is to marry each other happily and are constantly making duaa for this. During the past year I dreamt positive dreams of N; that I am preparing salad for N and him keeping it in his bag, on another occasion I dreamt that he is in our home and I am feeding him oatmeal myself.

Very recently I dreamt that I am in a white room with only my dad sitting across on a chair and two chairs for me and N. All of us are dressed in white and I saw myself signing the nikkah papers. i.e. I saw my dad performing our nikkah. Please interpret this dream for me. He wants to send his proposal to my house but the situation in our homes is very tough as our parents want other partners for us. I have shared my deepest issues with you, please remember me in your prayers. If you can give me any advice I would be thankful.

Madiha.