I love this guy, but he insults me
True love comes from Allah Alone, rest all is from Shaitaan
Assalam o alikum!
I'am just done with my intermediate. i worked so much hard during these 2 years but still i was not fortunate to get admission in medical college, this seriously has made me half psycho, now i have decided to go for improvement and my 1 year will get wasted, thats also fine but my other major problem is that i am badly in love with a guy,
i was in contact with him for 4 years but that wasnt a good relationship as i always felt guilty and the real feeling of getting dirty though our conversations were limited to daily routine things and normal talk but still while talking to him i always thought as if i am cheating my family so we were not in regular contact during all this time.
now i really can't forget him,i can't even study,iam unable to concentrate on anything,i've lost self control and whenever i contact him he just insult me badly,he really dont have any feelings for me but i can't forget him.sometimes i pray to Allah to make me strong enough so that i may not think about him,so that i may forget him and then at other times i pray to get him legally.i really want him in islamic legal way not as a boyfriend.i'm really confused in my life,nowadays i'm thinking about suicide but its haram so i dont want to go for it.
now my problem is that i can't stop myself from thinking about him and because of that i can't study.what if i didn't get admission next year also,then i'l die...
i'll be thankful if someone will help me.i know it may not seem a big problem to others but i really can't cope with it.iam feeling so unimportant and have turned to self pity.
~ Qurat-ul-ain
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Sister,
Value the person that you are. Don't waste your time on some guy who does not respect you and insults you...not husband material. If he has no respect for you now, how on earth do you think as a husband he would have any? He won't. Focus on school and plan for your future. Stay away from haram relationships, they will take you nowhere but down.
Salam
Assalamualaikum,
Sister, you call yourself Qurratul 'Ayn. Would you not like it that your partner becomes the coolness of your eyes such that whenever you look at him, you thank Allah and you feel at peace?
This man is certainly not someone who fits in this space. There are people who are much better and who will respect you as you deserve.
Additionally, sister, love before marriage moatly comes from the Shaitaan. In your case, he is enjoying himself by seeing you in distress. Prove him wrong and break the wall created by the Shaitaan in order to go to the World.
Have patience and trust in Allah, then in sha Allah you will see that even your study problems will solve. Do Istikhaarah concerning the medical college and in sha Allah if it is good for you, you will find ways open for you to walk upon and lead to it.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Wa'alaykumsalam,
Life is not only about education or marriage , that if you fail in either, you talk about death/suicide. The purpose of life is to worship Allah and aim for paradise.
"We did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship us." (Quran 51:56)
Many people studied very hard in high school just to enter universities to study medicine or engineering or law or architecture etc, some succeeded to enter while others not, this is life. Many people married the person they loved while others cannot, this is also life. Life is full of tests and trials. We cannot be victorious in everything, because if we are, then there is no need of paradise. Some people may have acheived success in education and marriage but their religious duty hit rock bottom, therefore they are the real losers. They are so obsessed of this world, that they forgot the real purpose of their existance. Therefore make good value of the life you're blessed with and Your ultimate aim MUST be paradise.
"Say: ' Shall we[believers] inform you of the greatest losers as to [their] deeds?, [They are] those whose effort is lost in worldly life, while they thought that they were acquiring good by their works?" (Quran 18:103-104)
" Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained his object (of life). And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion". (Quran 3:185)
"O you who believe! Be careful of (your duty to) Allah and seek means of nearness to Him and strive hard in His way that you may be successful."
(Quran 5:35)
Life is already difficult, Why did you make it harder ? Pre-marital relationship is forbidden in Islam, therefore, once the law has been breached, problems and troubles will come and so you're facing but one of the problems. Illegal love affairs will normally lead to broken heart, tension, self pity, loss of concentration, sorrows, loss of faith etc. All these wouldn't have happened if we obeyed Allah earlier, would it ? We humans do mistake, therefore, to set things right we repent sincerely and beg Allah to forgive us. Without repenting, we are inviting more troubles which will one day hit us one after another and at that time, there is no refuge.
"And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped". (Quran 39:54)
That stranger who you've been seeing for the past 4 yrs, is nothing but undeserving of you. What good did he do, Is it insulting you daily ? Well, for sure if a man insults you daily, if he doesn't think of your feelings etc while you being a stranger to him, then I can almost guarantee that he will be terrible after marriage. If he's making fun/mocking you right now, then he don't want you. By Allah you're just wasting your precious time. Time once lost cannot be regained. If you continue thinking of him unnecessarily, then in the future, 'if' you fail to get admission in medical uni, you'll be regretting of the time lost in thinking about someone who was never meant to be yours. You'd regret that you could have studied more hard and obeyed Allah. Therefore, take heed, stop communicating with him right away. Insulting people is forbidden in Islam too and so he's on a streak. Never again get a boyfriend, it is haram. Obey and fear Allah. That man doesn't value you, so try to forget thinking about him, you will succeed as eventually your false feelings for him will fade away as time passes.
Regadring your studies, do not think that its the end of life if you fail to get admission in a medical uni. You've got to find solutions, Try other medical uni. If you're not getting it, then it may be that, medicine is not meant for you. Know that studying medicine is extremely difficult, therefore you've got to study much more harder when admitted. If you felt intermidiate studies as hard and you suffered then medicine I doubt will suit you. Therefore, you might wanna consider somthing else. Just saying.
Suicide ? Well its an eternal punishment.
"And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful." (4:29)
"..and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction" (2:195)
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever kills himself with something in this world will be punished with it on the Day of Resurrection.” ( Sahih Bukhaari )
Prophet said that Allaah said: ‘My slave hastened to bring about his demise; I have forbidden Paradise to him.” ( Sahih Bukhaari )
Do your duites towards Allah. Follow the shariah law. Lower your gaze and guard your beauty. Pray 5 daily prayers and repent sincerely. Ask of Allah to help you and ease your situation. Insha'Allah you'll find someone better and you may find success in life.
MASHALLAH ...very well said by brother Ali bin abdullah al sheikh...!!
Jazaak'Allah every one for such helping responses but the thing is that i have tried almost everything,but its not working,alhamdullilah i pray 5 times a day but now i"m ashamed to say that i almost force myself while 'dua' because unconsciously i have a feeling that Allah will do what ever He wants and whenever He wants n what is good for me(which ofcourse i don't know) and i feel like Allah also does not like me that is why He didn't answer all my prayers of getting admission n i was left just because of marginal difference of few points...i know we should be happy in Allah's will but how?i can't get peace of mind,please tell me what to do,how to pray so that next year i get admission for sure.i can't imagine studying something else except medicine.Why our prayers do not get answered??
And i want to add that,that guy also used to lie a lot,once he told me that he has got engaged(though he was not) and once said that he is leaving for U.K(and he was not going actually),i know he is not a nice person,but how can i forget him,i wonder what great mistake have i done in past because of which i am suffering now
Wa Alaikum as Salam,
Sister, Dua is worship. If done forcibly, it is void. It makes no sence to rise your hands while believing that it makes no difference.
Allah Does What He Wills, and whatever He Wills is best for us, regardless of what we feel. If we make a dua, He Grants it immediately if He Wishes and if that is required immediately. He Delays it if its requirement is best for us at a later time. He withholds it from us if it is not good for us or if there is something better for us. This Is His Love and Mercy, His Wisdom which is best for us to rely upon.
You are suffering because you have allowed yourself to suffer. Shaitaan has taken advantage of your ill feeling. So deny him his reward (your disobedience of Allah) and you turn to Allah with Tawbah, and sincere one.
You know he is not good, so why waste your time and ruin your happiness? There are much more serious things you should worry about, my sister.
Perhaps next time, if you prepare well after doing Istikhaarah and doing Dua, you will clear the exam and get a medical seat in sha Allah.
Have patience and trust in Allah
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear little sister...
Infatuation (an intense, unreasoning, heady affection) is Love's decoy - a powerful one indeed - and this is what you are feeling for this boy. It is much like a drug - a little more, a little more and one is addict, slave to the little need within you that it fulfills regardless of the pain of its aftermath.
I gather from the passion in your plea that you are one who feels deeply, cares deeply and yearns deeply and that you invest as much of yourself in everything you feel strongly about. It is a blessing to bear such depth little sister but in your naivete, it has left you vulnerable within an abusive relationship. For that is what this is - emotional abuse. Not love.
I assume that this boy has some good traits which appeal to you and that these cloud your view and make the bad seem redeemable. Furthermore he must be saying something (albeit a misinterpretation on your part) to encourage you and is that is so - it is horribly unfair - and means that he in confused within himself and emotionally immature. Definitely not the kind of man you would as a husband - you may feel that you want to save him, change him and the relationship by winning his love - you may fear this failure as you fear being rejected again in your admission to study medicine and you may also feel that making this work after investing four years of your life is essential to the validation of your 'relationship' so that you do not feel used and inadequate.
Think of everything I've just said - answer these inferred questions to yourself. Ask yourself - is all this the kind of relationship you've always wanted? If no, then why are you settling for less than you are willing to give?
Dear little sister - allow yourself to fall to your knees on your Salaah mat in the night. Allow yourself to cry. And then to forgive yourself. And then to ask for Forgiveness and Help from your Creator. Only once fallen can one rise. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to hit rock bottom before we can begin the climb that will make us stronger.
Things happen at their appointed time and with infinite Wisdom in the Hands of the Almighty. As for your acceptance into medicine - think... Perhaps amidst all this internal turmoil the Almighty wanted you to first find yourself and your inner strength and peace and confidence before you would be ready to study and serve others. Would you really be able to study in your current state of mind and hope to succeed.
Medicine is no joke my dear. I would know. I am a medical doctor myself and it will take all of your time and commitment. There will need to be many sacrifices and you will see another side to life of which most people outside of the profession remain naive. You need to be in the right space if you hope to do well at this.
You cannot see now, but the Almighty sees into the course of your life, open your mind and at a later stage you may gain the insight to recognise His Wisdom when it manifests itself.
And take heart, be patient and have patience with yourself. Cut ties with this boy - let it be your decision and stand by it no matter what. It will hurt incredibly at first but in time it will ease. Read the stories others have written in their messages, recognise how small the world is and that we all get our hearts broken in different ways.
And remember that Dua in itself is powerful, because by making Dua sincerely, it brings with it the mindset to affect the change that you will start towards and then the Almighty will open doors to facilitate this change in ways you never thought imaginable.
May the Almighty help you, protect you and give you the strength you will need, little sister...
(And Brother Waseem - I must commend you, your comments are soothing, insightful and non-judgmental, wellspoken. Masha'Allah)
Jazak'Allah sister.u gave a very sincere n comprehensive reply,i'm thankful atleast someone cares 🙂 but to tell u the truth nothing is really working with me,nothing seems to console me now i'm almost sure that i have to spend the rest of my life having him on my mind for 24 hours,i still feel dirty,i feel like i'm not like other pious n clean girls and i dont deserve someone good.its been so long,so many months n even years of break up,but i'm not over it.i thought i'l post my problem here n magically it will be finished.lol. But nthng happened.i just don't want to think about him,i want to take him out of my mind just as people lose their memories but i can't.i don't have any contact with him.the quote 'time is the best healer' is also not working.i always think do i not deserve to be happy n satisfied like other people,are they more dear to Allah than me.non-believers even don't pray to Allah n still He gives him the ones they want.then why this happened to me n still i'm suffering,he was also equally responsible,why is he fine n happy.i know all this comes in ungratefullness but these are the things i think about the whole day,my life has becum a mess cause of that medical issue n this one
Oh my sister in this beautiful DEEN. I can relate to you, but I can't feel empathy towards you.
There is a lesson in you failing to get to Med School.
Let's say (I pray to ALLAH AZZAWAJAL that you get through, next year) you fail to make it to Med School next year too, and then some one powerful/influential comes and says this to you
"I can get you into Med school, and I can also get you that boy you are crazy about, but you can't get both, you can only get one of the two " Which one will you pick ?.
Then as you he says "Well Miss , there is no such thing as a free meal, so you have to earn it, the conditions are simple, if you want the boy then you will have to sleep with me, or if you want to get into Med school then you will have to give up the boy"
I ask you sister WHICH ONE WOULD YOU PICK ?
I am sorry that I said these things, but I don't regret it.
Sister you think that SUICIDE IS A JOKE AOODUBILLAH, you think that your life is only worth a Stupid Medical School Entry or Some guy who does not even have the courtesy to respect you as a Human being.
Allah did not create us for that nor did he choose us over the rest to be born in this Ummah as Muslims but for a noble purpose.Find that purpose and Fulfill that purpose.
You think the choice you have to make is hard , think about the dilemma a mother in Somalia has to make on which child SHE WILL LEAVE BEHIND TO DIE AND EATEN BY VULTURES just cuz she DOES NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO CARRY THEM.
Think about our pearls in Syria, Palestine, Kashmir,Afghanistan etc ... have to bear after being repeatedly raped in front of their families by pigs and dogs who are not even worth the dirt they step on , not by one,two ,or three the keyword here is GANG-RAPE.
I can go on and on and on..........
I urge you to utter the Kalimah again and make Tawba to Allah before your heart becomes hard . Sister if you really want to change Allah will change it, the Problem is that you are looking for a solution in the wrong place, The Verse in the Qur'an states "Verily in the remembrance of Allah does the heart find rest" and the truth is from Allah.
Watch a lot of lectures on Islam , I would recommend this title from "Why Am I Empty? - By: Yasmin Mogahed".
In this she beautifully sums up our real purpose in life as such
Our goal should always be Allah and everything else should become a means through which we seek him. Asking Allah to give us a particular person as our spouse is okay but if we don't get them then becoming depressed or suicidal reverses the roles of You and Allah, the Goal and the means because then Allah becomes your means through which you try to achieve your goal which is that particular person and becoming disappointed with Allah's decision implies that you are the Master and He is you ...
Aoodubillah , Glory be to Allah ... he is far removed from Allah defects and to him is the best of examples.
Assalam-o-alaikum..whoever is reading this please i really want u to pray for me,iam still in that state,i know i trangressed the limits set by Allah,how can i get peace now,may be my repentance is still not accepted by Him(swt) thats why iam still suffering.its been so long now,iam so tired of thinking about the same thing,being on the same point,now i feel like even my imaan,the most precious thing i have,is slipping out of my hands.i heard so many islamic lectures,nothing is helping me,i have bookmarked this site,i regularly visit it,read the answers given by people,i admire all of u,everyone is having so nice thinking,such high level of imaan,while mine is getting low day by day.iam getting so many negative thoughts,i really try not to have,but still...as iam getting further from Allah does that mean its a punishment?i continously remind myself of other people's sufferings who are in much worse state still they are grateful but still i don't feel any ease.its so difficult,i feel so dirty,i think no one would accept me cause i'm not pure now,i'm not like other muslim girls who are untouched pearls,and i dont even deserve someone good.i really want to consider counselling but its not possible for me in the area i live and in these circumstances.why nothing seems to help me,iam really not getting peace of mind,i'm so tired mentally now,i'm continously thinking about suicide n death,but then i become afraid of the life of the hereafter,how would i answer Allah,how i used the gifts He gave me,in a negative way,being a sinner.please answer me,i still need some help even after so many responses.atleast i'l feel some ease for an hour or probably a day,i read these previous posts so many times and of other brothers and sisters also but still nothing is helping me,why is this so?Allah does not love me anymore?i have suffered enough for my actions,why i'm still not able to forget that guy,i always remembered Allah while i talked to him,i mean the guilt was continously there,i never got satisfaction by having contact with him,the day he came in my life,my life has become such a mess.there are so many people in the world,why i need just him,i just want him so badly,i know he was not good but i don't know..i'm in such a confused state now,sorry for taking so much of your time.
My dear Sister,
Remember we are the slaves of
Ar- Rahmaan – The Most Lovingly Beneficent, the Most Kind and Giving, the Most Gracious, the Infinitely Good.
Ar- Raheem -The unimaginably merciful
Al- Ghaffar - The All-Forgiving, the Absolver, the Veiler of Sins and Faults, the Most Protecting One
Al - Gaffur - The Forgiving, the Forgiver of Sins and Faults, the Perfectly Forgiving, the Pardoner
Ash – Shakur - The Appreciative
Al- Mujib - The responsive)
Al- Wadud - The LOVING ONE
Al- Barr - The source of all goodness
Al – Afuww – The Most Forgiving, the Effacing, the Eliminator of Sins
As – Sabur – The Patient One
I see two consistent themes of your posts. One is you think that Allah hates you and will never address you and the second issue can’t seem to be able to get over this guy and both these thoughts are pushing you towards insanity and close to suicide. May Allah make protect you my sister and send his blessings, peace and happiness in to your heart which he envelops with Emaan, Taqwa and Kushu of Him.
First I will address the part about you losing hope in Allah or thinking that Ar-Rahmaan hates you
Shaytaan; the ever despicable one’s biggest trick is deception and he is very good at it, one of his major deceptions is that he makes us lose hope in Allah (Aoodubillah) by saying we are too sinful and Allah hates us, sister trust me just read through the names of Allah I have mentioned above and try to feel it. Wallahi Allah still loves you; don’t you see the people who are KAFIRS, SINFUL, NEVER THANK ALLAH FOR ANYTING AND USE BLASHPEMY OF ALLAH in this world ?, DO YOU THINK THAT IF ALLAH WAS NOT LOVING THERE WOULD BE SUCH PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET?
I head a story that moved me to tears and tears are about to drop from my once again
Shaykh Zulfiqar Ahmad tells a story of a man who was in the era of Moosa (as). He would not stay steadfast on his repentance. Allah descended revelation upon Moosa (as). Tell this youngster not to break his repentance. If you return back to your sins then i will give you a punishment. Allah is saying this to Moosa (as). And i won’t accept your repentance. Moosa (as) delivered this message to youngster. After receive the message he was patient for a few days but committed the sin again thereafter. Allah descended revelation upon Moosa (as) saying:
“Tell him I am upset with him”.
Moosa (as) delivered this message to him. The youngster left for the desert and proclaimed “O Allah, what message have you sent through Moosa (as)? You are over the treasures of forgiveness? “Oh my Lord, which of my sin is greater than your mercy that it cannot be forgiven by you? “O Allah, you state that you will not forgive me, how will you not forgive me? It is from your attributes that you are the most gracious. “Oh my Lord, if you deprive people of your mercy, then where will your sinful people go? Which other door is there to which we may go to? If you push them away where will they go? If your mercy has diminished then very well, give me punishment. “O Allah put the sins of the all other people on me as well. I will act as compensation on behalf of everyone, forgive everyone else. When Allah heard the youngster, Allah’s mercy was drawn. Allah revealed the Prophet Moosa(as), “Tell him: if your sins filled the space between the heavens and the earth, after this dua (supplication) I will forgive all your sins. You have understood my forbearance and mercy well”.
Finally, Hazrat Shaykh Zulfiqar said that if we were to make supplication like this, then indeed Allah will accept our supplications.
Here is another story of that still moves me and fills me up with hope
It was narrated that in the days that Prophet Musa / Moses (pbuh) wandered with Bani Israel (Children of Israel) in the desert, an intense drought befell them. Together, they raised their hands towards the heavens praying for the blessed rain to come. Then, to the astonishment of Prophet Musa / Moses (pbuh) and all those watching, the few scattered clouds that were in the sky vanished, the heat poured down, and the drought intensified.
It was revealed to Prophet Musa / Moses (pbuh) that there was a sinner amongst the tribe of Bani Israel (Children of Israel) who had disobeyed Allah (SWT) for more than forty years of his life.
"Let him separate himself from the congregation," Allah (SWT) told Prophet Musa / Moses (pbuh). "Only then shall I shower you all with rain."
Prophet Musa / Moses (pbuh) then called out to the throngs of humanity, "There is a person amongst us who has disobeyed Allah (SWT) for forty years. Let him separate himself from the congregation and only then shall we be rescued from the drought."
That man waited, looking left and right, hoping that someone else would step forward, but no one did. Sweat poured forth from his brow and he knew that he was the one. The man knew that if he stayed amongst the congregation all would die of thirst and that if he stepped forward he would be humiliated for all eternity.
He raised his hands with a sincerity he had never known before, with humility he had never tasted, and as tears poured down on both cheeks he said, "O Allah, have mercy on me! O Allah, hide my sins! O Allah, forgive me!"
As Prophet Musa / Moses (pbuh) and the people of Bani Israel (Children of Israel) waited for the sinner to step forward, the clouds hugged the sky and the rain poured. Prophet Musa / Moses (pbuh) asked Allah (SWT), "O Allah, you blessed us with rain even though the sinner did not come forward."
And Allah (SWT) replied, "O Musa, it is for the repentance of that very person that I blessed all of Bani Israel (Children of Israel) with water."
Prophet Musa / Moses (pbuh), wanting to know who this blessed man was, asked, "Show him to me O Allah!"
Allah (SWT) replied, "O Musa, I hid his sins for forty years, do you think that after his repentance I shall expose him?"
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "My entire nation is safe, except al-Mujahirin (those who boast of their sins). Among the Mujaharah is that a man commits an (evil) act, and wakes up in the morning while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret, he says: 'O Fulan! Last night I did this and that.' He goes to sleep while Allah has kept his (sin) a secret but he wakes up in the morning and uncovers what Allah has kept a secret!" [Saheeh al-Bukhari]
Allaah has bestowed His mercy and encompassed His slaves with his kindness. He is Forbearing and does not punish us or destroy us straightaway, rather He gives us respite, and He commanded His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to proclaim His generosity:
“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful”
I got this part from Islamqa.com
What is meant by repentance is returning to Allaah, giving up sin and hating it, and regretting falling short in obedience to Allaah. Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Repentance is essential from every sin, even if it is something between a person and Allaah and has nothing to do with the rights of another person. There are three conditions of repentance:
1- You should give up the sin
2- You should regret having done it
3- You should resolve never to go back to it.
If one of these three is missing, then your repentance is not sincere.
End Quote
I recommend the questioner here has the same concern as you and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you read it fully
Acceptance of repentance: http://islamqa.info/en/ref/46683
Repenting From Adultery: http://islamqa.info/en/ref/624
"She has put on hijaab ad repented from having haraam relationships - will Allaah forgive her?” http://islamqa.info/en/ref/13630
A young man did all kinds of haraam actions, and he wants to repent: http://islamqa.info/en/ref/13990
I have committed many sins which no one knows of except Allaah. What do I have to do so that Allaah will accept my repentance? : http://islamqa.info/en/ref/14289
This excellent article on repentance : http://www.inter-islam.org/Actions/repent.htm
Finally to close out on the first part of my post there is something that Allah has mentioned about himself in a Hadeeth Qudsi
The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah the Most High said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’”
[Sahih Al-Bukhari]
Commentary:
The Scholars (may Allah have mercy upon them) commented on the above Hadith Qudsi, where the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said that Allah said, “I am as my slave expects Me to be”:
Ibn Hajar (may Allah have Mercy upon him) said: “meaning, I am able to do whatever he expects I will do.” [Fath al-Bari]
Imam Nawawi (may Allah have Mercy upon him) said: “The scholars say that expecting the best of Allah is to expect that He will have Mercy on him and relieve him of hardship.” [Sharh Sahih Muslim]
Imam Nawawi (may Allah have Mercy upon him) also said: “al-Qadi ‘Iyad said that this means He will forgive him if he seeks such, will accept his repentance if he repents, will answer him if he supplicates, and will suffice him if he asks for something. It is also said that it refers to having hope and longing for relief, and this is more correct.” [Sharh Sahih Muslim]
Shaykh Zulfiqar Ahmad?? Is he a sufi ?
sister be careful of whom you listen to. not everyone on the internet is following the right aqeedah.
_________________
May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!
Assalamualaikum Warhamtullahi Wabaarkaathu,
Brother Abdullah, May Allah grant you goodness in this life and in the next.
Please don't start the Sufi Vs Salafi and what-not war here ?
I know that this is a major issue when it relates to Aqeedah and Sunnah, but he is just the speaker of the Video from which I took the excerpt from, In the end the speaker which was Shaykh Zulfiqar mentioned that comment.
I am in no means supporting Sufism or want any part of it.
I am a Muslim and I gave Naseehah to my sister in the deen as per Quran & Sunnah.
The video which I was talking about is this
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KURL7sukq9U&w=480&h=315%5D
I found it a really inspirational and emotional Dua which brings humility in the heart of the slave and exalts the master, our creator.
"sister be careful of whom you listen to. not everyone on the internet is following the right aqeedah."
Did you know that could even be you ?
Sorry if my words were hurtful, but I have been labelled Wahabi, Munfaiq, Mushrik etc ... by my fellow MUSLIM brothers for trying to establish the Sunnah, I just could not take more labels.
May Allah make us Brothers in Jannah as he has made us in this dunya.
Sister I pray that Allah gives you content in you heart and heals you to become a better person.
Walaikumassalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.
i was not here to start a war on that topic. I just wanted to tell you to gain knowledge from authentic sources. When there is so much of authentic information available alhamdulillah.
then why look somewhere else ?
if you know urdu then i request you to listen to this lecture by Dr Murtaza bin Baksh
youtube(dot)com/watch?v=M-Lq4fQFkWM - Jadoo Ki Duniya Aur Uska ilaj Part 6 of 10 - Dr Murtaza bin Baksh [replace (dot) by . in the link and search in the browser]
Dr. Murtaza Baksh talks about a man how he becomes a jadoogar (& starts practicing black magic).
you will know by this story what sufism can lead to inshaAllah.
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Dr. Murtaza Baksh , is a student of knowledge based in Jeddah, he is also a medical doctor. He studied in the massajid in Saudi Arabia under prominent Shuyoukh such as Sheikh Ubayd ibn Jabiree who gave him a tazkiyya, Sheikh Salih Al Fawzan, etc.
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May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!
Btw what is this sufism.. And what is exactly salafism? Just want to know coz i dont know who iam?
@apple green -
(1)
What is Salafi Manhaj? By Dr. Murtaza Baksh
in urdu-> ashabulhadith(dot)com/Aqeedah_AhleSunnah/Aqeedah_AhleSunnah_MP3/12_Asaal_11th/01.mp3
translation of the urdu bayaan in english. ->
youtube(dot)com/watch?v=LgLgZ1v1IPs
(2)
youtube(dot)com/watch?v=xJ4wY1Adweo <- Sufism Aur Islam By Sheikh Tauseef Ur Rehman
[replace (dot) by . in the link and search in the browser]
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May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!
Walaikumassalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.
Firstly,
make sincere repentance to Allah.
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who, when they have committed Faahishah (illegal sexual intercourse) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; — and none can forgive sins but Allah — and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know.
For such, the reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens with rivers flowing underneath (Paradise), wherein they shall abide forever. How excellent is this reward for the doers (who do righteous deeds according to Allah’s Orders)” [3:135-136]
Ibn Katheer said:
The words “and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done” mean: they repent from their sins and quickly turn to Allah, and they do not persist in their sin, rather they give it up, and if they do that again they repent to Him. Tafseer Ibn Katheer.
Prophet Muhammed(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“A person committed a sin and said: ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’
His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’
Then as much time passed as Allah willed, then he committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’
His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’
Then as much time passed as Allah willed, then he committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’
His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave,’ – three times…” [al-Bukhaari, Muslim].
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) included this hadeeth (narration) under the heading: “Acceptance of repentance from sins even if the sins and repentance happen repeatedly.”
He said in his Sharh (commentary):
We have already discussed this issue at the beginning of the Book of Repentance. These ahaadeeth (narrations) clearly point to that, and even if the sin is repeated a hundred times or a thousand times or more, and he repents each time, his repentance will be accepted and his sin will be erased. And if he repents once from them all, his repentance will be valid.
Sharh Muslim.
Secondly,
Sincere repentance is not merely the matter of words spoken on the tongue.
Rather, the acceptance of repentance is subject to the condition
-> that the person gives up the sin straight away,
-> that he regrets what has happened in the past,
->that he resolves not to go back to the thing he has repented from,
-> that he restores people’s rights or property if his sin involved wrongdoing towards others,
->and that he repents before the agony of death is upon him.
Thridly,
when ever you feel like the thoughts of doing that guy comes to your mind (which could be whispers of the shaitan) then seek refuge in Allah
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if an evil whisper from shaytaan (satan) tries to turn you away (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) (from doing good), then seek refuge in Allaah. Verily, He is the All‑Hearer, the All‑Knower”
[Fussilat 41:36].
say أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم (I seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed shaytaan).
Fourthly,
Remember that,
Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will compensate him with something better than it.
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May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!
Sister,
First of all I have to blunt, I am no better than you just because I sin differently.
Do you NOW understand why Allah and his Messenger told us to :
1. Lower our gaze
2. Forbade us from intermixing between sexes freely
3. The people from opposite sexes should only converse if it is absolutely necessary and keep it to the point.
There is a reason why scholars forbade even the intermixing of sexes EVEN IF THE ONLY INTENTION they have to teach and learn the Qur’an if they are alone. The reason is ALLAH wants ease for us, He loves us so much, he does not want us to go through all the heartaches, depressions etc .. Because he is the all knowing, everything Allah and his messenger has given us is for our benefit and for our benefit alone, Allah is AS-SAMAD; HE does not need ANY OF US WE NEED HIM AND WITHOUT HIM WE ARE NOTHING .
Sister you should first understand that EVERYONE of us is going through a trail or is being tested in everything, even the best of us whom we consider are so PIOUS, even the sahabah were tested.
Are you an orphan ? OUR BELOVED PROHET WAS
DID YOU 2 people WHOM YOU LOVED WITH ALL THE LOVE YOU HAVE within the span of one year’s time ? OUR PROPHET DID
Have you then been given a task of propagating Islam to a people WHO WERE INHERENTLY VIOLENT, HURTFUL, PHYSICALLY & VERBALLY ABUSIVE even when you were still mourning the dead of your beloved ones? OUR PROPHET WAS.
I can go on and on and on the WHOLE life my beloved was full of trials, he was tested, he lost all his sons. Did Allah hate him? Listen to the word of a loving Lord
Your Lord has not taken leave of you, [O Muhammad], nor has He detested [you].
And the Hereafter is better for you than the first [life].
And your Lord is going to give you, and you will be satisfied.
Did He not find you an orphan and give [you] refuge?
And He found you lost and guided [you],
And He found you poor and made [you] self-sufficient.
Al-Quran Surah Duha 93:3-8
The words of the Qur’an are for all times and every worse applies as much as to us as it did to the prophet of Allah.
Did he commit Suicide? Did Bilaal lose hope in OUR Allah when he was tortured beyond yours and my comprehension, or did Ammar bin Yasir lose hope when his mother was killed in the most disgusting way buy a disgusting Individual way in front of his very eyes, nor did he lose hope when he was put on the desert and a large boulder was placed on his chest/back which dissolved his skin and the fat melted and liquefied and extinguished fire that was used to torture him?
I myself am going through a tough time, not with any an affairs but with personal family disputes between members of my own blood family who are going at each other hammer and tongs and on the verge of going separate ways, this has pushed me, depressed me, broken and even while I am typing this I am have a heavy heart, BUT I know my ALLAH will NEVER EVER let go of me or anyone who puts their trust in ALLAH. I know that Allah will not place a burden upon me which I cannot bear, for his words are true, I know MY ONLY REFUGE IS with ALLAH and So if yours we just have to put our trust in him and keep firm in these testing times.
I will say this again we are all being tested me, you, the editors of this site, the people who post comments in here , the people whom you consider role models , EVERY ONE OF US has a story to tell and has some hardship which they are struggling with, the POINT IS JAANAH IS THE ABODE, THE DUNYA IS THE EXAMINATION HALL, to expect a nice cozy bed in an examination hall is Un-realistic and defeats the whole purpose of the Examination Hall , as you should most probably know everyone in an Examination hall is intent on finishing the paper and getting out as soon as possible, no one wants to stick around as the pressure is overwhelming, But the examination Hall Allah has put us in is a tad different , In this examination Hall ,HELP WILL ALWAYS BE GIVEN TO THE PEOPLE WHO ASK FOR IT AT A TIME WHEN IT IS BEST FOR THEM , ALL The answers are given in A crystal clear book and an Encyclopedia of the life of ONE MAN – THE BEST CREATION TO EVER WALK the HEAVENS AND THE EARTH, all we have to do it rush to the BOOK whenever we come across a problem/question that we don’t have , we should run towards these resources to get THE ANSWER.
Did you know the word “Ilah” in our proclamation of faith “La ilah ha il Allah” has a very deep and profound meaning, which is infact the key to all solution for depression.
I stole this deep insight from listening to Sister Yasmin Mogahed’s lecture titled
Overcoming Sadness & Depression ᴴᴰ - By: Yasmin Mogahed
A sound heart is one that is free from any partner in our love, in our fear, in our hope & dependency, and all other things that should only be to Allah. She went on to spend a considerable amount of time explaining how Allah warns us against calling upon anything as an “Ilah” other than Him, or it will be a cause of torment for us.
Sister Yasmin then explains the meaning of the term ‘Ilah’ using “Four Basic Quranic Terms” by Syed Abul-Ala Maududi which is as follows:
The root of this word consists of the three letters, alif, lam, and ha and the connotations of various derivations, as one finds in lexicons are as follows:
• Achieved peace and mental calm by seeking refuge with someone or establishing relations with him.
• Became frightened of some impending mishap or disaster, and someone gave him the necessary shelter.
• Turned to another eagerly, due to the intensity of his feelings for him.
• The lost offspring of the she-camel rushed to snuggle up to its mother on finding it. Became hidden, or concealed. Also, got elevated.
• Adored, offered worship to.
Any time that we make something other than Allah as our ultimate refuge/shelter, it will be a source of pain for us. Nothing other than Allah can have that position in our lives. All of creation pushes us to Allah in different ways. In a most eloquent manner characteristic of Sister Yasmin Mogahed, she gives various examples as to how this is true. For example, she says that in beauty, we are pushed towards Allah. When we see His Creation such as the sun, moon, stars or clouds, it is a pointer to His Greatness and Beauty and we are led to revel in His Glory.
However, if we are too enamored by the beauty and we try to possess it and get closer to it, it will hurt us. If we get too close to the sun, we will burn. And through this hurt, we are actually being redirected to the Ultimate Source: Allah. In the same way, the more that you try to get close to people, to depend on other people, we learn through experience/disappointment/pain that these are not the ends. What you seek is still beyond. Our final destination is beyond these things. We do love and appreciate and see beauty in creation, but they themselves are not the end in itself, they’re all only on the path to Allah SWT.
Sister Wallhi this guy can never be a source of happiness to you in your life, not only because he does not love you or anything, but because your intention is to reach him through Allah where as in the real case it should you should have sought marriage to seek Allah Azzawajal. This I believe is the cause for your heartache because Allah say’s in the Qur’an
Those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.
Quran 13:28
Never use movies, songs; speaking to others unless it be a reason to find genuine advice and a solution to a problem to “take your mind” off the problem, because these things are like pain killers, not the cure, the cure is with Allah.
You are so determined to give up your life for a worthless thing in dunya which itself is not worth any more in the sight of Allah than the wing of handicapped mosquito.
Just browse through hundreds of other stories in this site, where unfortunately hundreds of people are unhappy with their marriages and just think hard if you want to author a similar story asking for advice on an unhappy marriage?
Think about the things are losing because of your unhealthy attraction to this guy,
Your parents, your education, your happiness, your sanity, your life and most importantly you are inviting shaytann and have given control over your thoughts to him and HAVE LEFT ALLAH. SISTER WAKE UP, YOU ARE SO DETERMINED TO GIVE UP YOUR LIFE FOR THE SAKE OF THIS STUPID RELATIONSHIP, use that same determination and courage to fight Shaytaan and his waswaas, Shaytaan has no power over us, he can only throw in waswaas, and when we start fighting him, he grows weak and runs away, Shaytaan beautifies the evil and tries to devalue the GOOD.
Listen to what this evil snob has to say
And Shaitan (Satan) will say when the matter has been decided: "Verily, Allah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, so you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allah (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zalimun (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.).
Quran 14:22
Use that courage to complete your education turn all that negativity to positivity and believe you can contribute in a good manner to this community and to the Ummah.
I can’t repeat it enough nor can I stress this enough “HAPINESS IS FROM ALLAH ALONE AND HE/SHE WHO PUTS THEIR TRUST ON ALLAH WILL BE WELL PLEASED AND ETERNALLY HAPPY IN THIS WORLD AND THE NEXT”
@ apple green,
Those things are not important to know. The 'salaf aka salaf al saliheen' the first 3 generation of our prophet, is very different from the 'salaf' of this modern generation. The salafi movement started in the late 90s by few scholars and they are against madhab which are founded by 4 imams of the salaf as saliheen. Only Allah knows what they aim for but a salafi friend of mine said that, they only follow the Quran and sunnah, thats what the adherent of madhabs also does, the CEO of madhab like hanafi, shafi'i, hanbali etc follow only the Quran and sunnah and infact they are the salaf as saliheen. Nevertheless, almost 85 % of sunni muslims follow one of the four madhab (school of thought).
If you don't know who you are, then just tell me your method of praying the witr salat. Since you're Indian, most probably you're folowing Imam Abu Hanifa. Stick to it insha'Allah, follow the original teachings of Imam Hanifa and not the mixed innovative breed of deobanda etc. Or if you wish you can change madhab depending on which you find comfortable. Fyi, Imam Shafi'i madhab is a classic madhab and famous Islamic jurists follow this madhab and this madhab produce great scholars.
The CEO of Madhhab? That is ridiculous. The Aimmah never called to anything other than the Sunnah and whoever started a "movement" against the Quran and Sunnah, who can save him?
Brother; before you speak about people saying they oppose madhhabs, please see what you are talking against. I would have asked you who began the Salafi movement, but that is out of the scope of discussion. There is no "modern movement". Whoever followed the Salaf since the time of Salaf until today, they are Salafi. And whoever sticks to one madhhab thinks it is a new movement against madhhabs. If anyone actually follows the Aimmah correctly, they would NEVER say such a thing, because the path of the Salaf is the path of the Aimmah.
I have nothing to do with those who say they are Salafi and they oppose the way of the Sahaabah and the Salaf. They have been declared deviant by the Ulama.
Subhanallah, you are calling to a madhhab while you are supposed to tell what is correct accordig to the Quran and the Sunnah? This is not correct.
All the Aimmah strived to follow the Sunnah, but if they erred, we leave their error and take what is correct in that from another scholar. There were not only 4 Imams, they only got famous. Where are Sufyan ath Thawree; Sufyan ibn Uyaynah, Az Zuhri, and numerous others?
There is no CEO of a madhhab. Islam is our dreen and the CEO is Allah. The Guide is His Rasool and his path is the path of the Sahaabah, the path of the Tabi'oon and Atba' at Tabi'oon. And if any of these erred, we leave their error and take the good they have.
Brothers and sisters, please keep comments against madhaahib and manhaj as salaf away from discussion as there will be disagreements and debates for sure. If you wish to learn, you can refer to the duroos of Dr. Murtaka Baksh if you understand Urdu on ashabulhadith.com and Dr. Saleh as Saleh for English duroos on understand-islam.net
I presume that you will refrain from debating and speaking without knowledge in the future. I also hope that this debate will stop here.
Jazakumullahu Khair
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Brother my father is a hannafi and my mum is a shafi, but since as a kid i loved to pray with my uncle i automatically became a hannafi. I havnt studied the 4 madhabs so i dont know how they r different form each other. When some1 asks me who iam i just say iam a sunni muslim. I go to the graves of awliyas sometimes but i dont ask them for anything. I go there coz it gives me peace of mind and i hope my grave looks as peaceful as their graves do. If some1 would call me a grave worshiper i would take a serious offense coz i dont do what most people do there. I do pray for the dead to Allah and believe in reading quran for them but i dont keep food in front of me with incense and stuff as such coz i dont find any proof in the hadith for those things.im very conscious of the concept of shirk and bidah, but when some1 asks me what kind of sunni iam then i dont know what to say. Some ppl think iam a wahabi while some think im a sufi, but the truth is that i dont know who iam.
@apple green -
Muhammed (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said:
“The Jews were divided into seventy-one sects, one of which is in Paradise and seventy are in the Fire.
The Christians were divided into seventy-two sects, seventy-one of which are in the Fire and one is in Paradise.
By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, my Ummah will be divided into seventy-three sects, one of which will be in Paradise and seventy-two will be in the Fire.”
It was said, O Messenger of Allaah, who are they? He said, “Al-Jamaa’ah.”
Sunan Ibn Maajah, no. 3982.
What is meant by al-Jamaa’ah is the ‘aqeedah and actions of the Muhammed (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) and his Companions.
Once this is understood, the saved and victorious group is one and it is the group that adheres to the Qur’aan and Sunnah inwardly and outwardly.
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you should pay attention to this sister what Brother Abu Abdul Bari said "There were not only 4 Imams, they only got famous. Where are Sufyan ath Thawree; Sufyan ibn Uyaynah, Az Zuhri, and numerous others? "
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About me..
I was born in a family where my parents did grave worship and as far as i know they still do it.
Allah knows best.
Alhamdulillah. Allah guided me to the right path.
_______________________________
Research more about Islam sister. Please take some time and go through the links i gave you.
Download this book and read it..
kalamullah(dot)com/Books/kitab_ut_tawheed.pdf
[replace (dot) by . in the above link and search in the browser]
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May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!
Plz pray that Allah keeps me on the right path and guides me to the right aqeedah if iam wrong. Every1 perceives His message differently, i hope im not far from the truth. I will check the link which u have given me.
Jazak Allah Khair.
Assalamualaikum Warhamtullahi Wabaarkaathu Brother Abdullah & Apple green,
My dear sister Apple Green, You should listen to brother Abdullah.
Shayt'aan never tricked the people to worship idols and graves at once, he started by inch by inch.
Just like Allah commands in the Qur'an never to come near zina, we should not even go to places where we can accidently fall into shirk
Story of how shirk and idol/grave worship started
Think about this sister you may go there just to recite the Qur'an for and for You don't have anything to do with grave worship, then later when your son/daughter grows up they too will do the same thing without even knowing your real intentions and then in that place of Shirk some one may convince them to commit shirk and their children would soon follow suit , May Allah protect you and your family from the evil and vileness of shirk. I advice better to leave the thing completely for the sake of Allah, and visit the grave yard(if it is allowed for women) which would bring humility and connect us with the reality of our busy lives.
As for visiting graves to recite Qur'an on them, my search yielded this result .
@apple green - Wa antum fa jazakumullahu khairan.
@HelplessSlave - Walaikumassalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.
Mashaallah. Very helpful.
Im surrounded by different kinds of people. I mean people with extreme opinions both in my family especially my husband's family. I faced isolation as a punishment for questioning certain practices. Just trying to stay safe. Plz pray for me.
Jazak allah khair.
Jazak'Allah brother,may u be rewarded by Allah for every single word you wrote and make the trial you're going through easier for u.Aameen..I'l definately try to be positive afterwards,I always pray to Allah that I'l never be in a haraam relationship again only if i get over this one insha'Allah,this would be the 1st and last one.and yes i do listen to Yasmin mogahed,she is a wonderful speaker masha'Allah,in one of her lectures she said we go through trials and difficulties because Allah knows these things makes us stronger just as we don't complain a surgeon while his treatment though we are in pain coz we know that its for our own good similarly we should believe that Allah wants ease for us and does whats best for us.May Allah's mercy be upon all of us and make us good muslims.
Alhamdulillah that is the attitude, you have reached your goal by 50% and Bi'idnillah Allah would never let down a people as long as they don't give up
Allah will make your heart stronger, the other day I was reading this Subhan' Allah I was amazed and was moved so much when I saw the commitment of the Sahaba and how Allah was preparing for much greater things. PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ THE HADEETH
Riyad as-Salihin Ch#17 #168
See how the Sahabi were at first given an impossible task of controlling their thoughts, and when they complained to the Prophet(sal),He said are you going to say like the Jews "We hear and we disobey", then he said you should rather say "We hear and we Obey" , and When the people recited it and their tongues and hearts obeyed , Allah abrogated this ayah, and replaced it by removing the "accountability for our thoughts", Sister I think Allah is preparing you for some great thing, and to be able to be prepared we should be compliant like the sahaba not with one hand with Shay'taan and the other leaning towards Allah
I can speak for my entire life time nor can I write books that try to convince you but one Ayah from our creator is better than any speech and it would the best way to stir the heart that has been devoid of the rememberance of Allah
"Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient."
Al Qur'an 57:16
Gets me every time. All good is from Allah and all evil and shortcomings comes from this insignificant slave and the evil snob shaytaan (May the curse of Allah be upon him).
Oh Allah! The turner of the hearts, turn our hearts in complete submission to you and remove the love for the dunya and fill it up with the love for YOU, our prophet and the Aakirah and plant it firm on your deen.
Ameen
Jazak'Allah brother.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has a favour done for him and says to the one who did it, ‘Jazak Allaahu khayran,’ has done enough to thank him.”
[Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1958 & 2035; Abu Dawood (1672) and by al-Nasaa’i in al-Sunan al-Kubra (6/53); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.].
@Apple green
Ever heard the hadeeth about the Ghurabaa
Muslim (145) from Abu Hurayrah who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.”
Al-Sindi said in Haashiyat Ibn Maajah:
“Strange” refers to the small number of its adherents. The basic meaning of ghareeb (a stranger) is being far from one's homeland. “And will revert to being strange” refers to the small number of those who will adhere to its teachings even though its followers are many. “So give glad tidings to the strangers” means those who follow its commands. “Tooba (glad tidings)” has been interpreted as meaning Paradise or a great tree in Paradise. This shows that supporting Islam and following its commands may require leaving one's homeland and being patient in bearing the difficulties of being a stranger, as was the case in the beginning.
Sister Apple Green,
May Allah Help you and keep you firm upon the truth. Sister, whoever is before you, never stand for something which you know is wrong. And in sha Allah, you will find a lot of help. A live example is brother Abdullah whose entire family is away from the path, but he has been Guided, Praise to Allah. Difficulties and trials are a part of life. But we must strive to follow what is correct from the Quran and the Sunnah. If we do not know, we must learn.
Sister, I do not like to speak big about people, but to be honest, I see a huge potential in you from all the comments I have been reading from you. You must seek knowledge and in sha Allah, it will take you where you can't even imagine. Seek knowledge "from the right sources". India is especially a place where a lot of modern bid'ah originates from.
May Allah increase you, me and those striviving in his way - in knowledge. Aameen... Jazakillahu Khair
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Brother abu abdul bari, Your overwhelming support has further humbled me. it means a lot for me to get such support from u.
@ helplessSlave and @brotherabdullah thanx for your guidance.
i will strive to seek the truth.
Jazak Allah Khair. May Allah grant us all jannatul firdaus. Aameen.
Alhamdulillahi rabbil aalamiin.
Brother can you please tell me one more thing?so sorry for taking this post too long but please tell me the definition of chaste in the view of islam?i mean am i still chaste?and do i deserve a chaste person?if my repentance is accepted than it would be really the same as i havent done anything like that?like it would be erased as is mentioned in one of the articles you recommended.i haven't done any kind of fornication,adultery,haven't even met him face to face ever,just talked in limits.i'm feeling embarrasement for making this post a chat box but this thing is really bothering me.
Sister,
The answer to your question is in Surah Maryam. The mother of Isa Alaihis Salam, when the angel gave her glad tidings of a baby, said:
19:20
قَالَتْ أَنَّىٰ يَكُونُ لِي غُلَامٌ وَلَمْ يَمْسَسْنِي بَشَرٌ وَلَمْ أَكُ بَغِيًّا
She said, "How can I have a boy while no man has touched me and I have not been unchaste?"
Anyone who has an illegal sexual intercourse loses the chastity. I do not know if doing tawbah makes one chaste again.
In your case, you have not had committed fornication. In sha Allah, you can consider yourself chaste and you deserve a chaste partner.
And if Allah accepts your repentance, your sins are erased or even changed into good deeds in the books of your deeds, in sha Allah.
And do not feel bad. This post belongs to you. You have the right to ask.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Wa'alaikumsalam wr wbrt.
Dear Sister, know that women are extra super special being. They are the pillars of society, great pillars for their children. That's why it is said in a Hadith that heaven is under the feet of our mother.
Hence, my short answer is: if your bf or fiance can't be sensitive to your overall needs, respect you and seek your concurrence in all issues with proper discussions, get rid of him ASAP. If possible get rid of him yesterday.
He is going to be the father if your children and grandpa of your many grandchildren. Do you really want them all to blame you for the silly mistake of you choosing a man who can't lead them to a peaceful loving life?
Think about it. Think hard! Because life is going to be real hard with men who disrespects their wife.