IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

ASAK

Greetings, I hope all are doing well..

its been 2 years for my marriage ( got married on 2014 may) and my engagement took place 3 yrs back(2013july)..

my marriage got fixed through my brotherinlaws friend circle. firstly there was a photo exchange of mine and my husband through emails and my husbands family people made a personal visit to my house to finalize the proposal. this is the way it happens in our side of families..

there was a confirmation of the proposal and engagement date was about to get fixed, thats when my husband had a chat over whatsapp with me. there was a normal exchange of talk between us, this was from my husbands side because he wanted to know if the marriage is getting fixed according to my will, and he wanted to keep his past relation open with me so tht i m aware of it before commitment(engagement). thats when he had mentioned tht he was in a relation with a christain girl in his college times for 4 yrs and it didnt work as she didnt accept our religion , as this was a normal thing i didnt take it seriously and told him its okay as everyone has a past.

but soon on the next day of marriage i discovered that girl still is in contact with my husband as she has invested money in their family business and the contact is only coz of the monthly payment tht is getting repaid to her, still i didnt take it to seriously and let it go as its business matter.

after a month of marriage i discovered that my husband lied to me tht it was a 4 yrs affair with her and instead of tht he was with her for 10 yrs in relation and had made false commitment to her tht he will get married to her and they even had zina relation and she was pregnant with his child which was discovered after he got married to me. on his fact my husband told me tht he was trapped bcoz of the girl and it had happened against his will and he is not willing to be with her and he wanted to finish the relation with her many times but the girl didnt let it happen. and like this my husband portaryed a very manipulated story to me which made me believe him completely. like he even mentioned to me that she has demanded money on aborting the child, which made me believe the character which my husband wanted to portary about the girl to me.like this alot of things happened.. by which i was convinced by my husband,

he even had told me tht he is very lucky to have a woman like me in his life who understands him very well, n he is very content with his life now, how much ever he  thanks Allah swt is less... i was totally in his talks..

due to all these talks by my husband i believed him completely and spend time nicely with him, like a pure happy married life.

i got pregnant in 2015 april and delieverd on dec 2015. got blessed with a baby girl Alhamdullilah.

this yr (2016) my husband has got married to her thru court as shes a christain, without informing me.

i got to knw this as i had sensed a diffference in his behaviour since he married her, he use to b lost and different with me, i had never witnessd him in tht behaviour..

so i started spying on him, and one day i made it a point tht he opens up about the thing and instead he flured up more on unwanted topic and left home and wasnt home for a day and over sms he told me tht he has got married to her and by his this act it doesnt mean tht he wants to leave me, he said tht let her be in her place and i will be in my place , and he quoted last in the sms tht he doesnt want to spoil mre lifes, hes nt forcing me to accept wat he has done but it happened this way and hes sorry and he asked me to forgve hiim if i can... this message of his broke me into pieces..

this is wen this whole matter was out in my parents house as i had to inform them that all this has been happening, and listening to this my family was shocked. as my husbands image in my huse was a very pious one.

my husband is a islamic person and a very humble natured person, this act of his has shocken everyone who got to know about this act of his.(my house famly and friends and his house family and friends)

well my people came to my inlaws to finalise the cause as they were broke by this news and were in anger also...

my husbands parents were also broke and they were afraid of this act of their son, as this culd cause any probs for their huse; like on their family image and all.. they r very respected and well known family ppl..

so they told him tht they can not accept his this marriage and since he is worng he has to fix this correct by divorcing the other wooman. and spend a life wid me by setling els whr away from all this.

now the prob is tht, tht wooman has invested money in the company and the co. isnt doing well and is running in crisis, so they r planning to seell it of for this cause and to clear other debts also.

the woman has told clearly tht she wont gve divorce until and unless she doesnt get her whole payment from the company along wid the compensation money and all..this isnt easy as it will take time.

now the prob is the relationship between me and husband has got do disturbed tht on any issue we tend to fight and i unwantingly take any topic to his betrayal and i tend to talk and talk so much negative..

i feel tht this all m0ney returns is simply a excuse to join with the divrce issue as they ccan gt time to convince me, but if my husband truely knows me he shld knw tht i wont agree to this thing.

on top of this my husband feels hes a life spoiler, murderr, worst person and many more, he tends to only hurt wen he speaks to me abt this issue ...

i feel he smewhr stil feels tht i shld supprt his decision of marrying a second woman as tht wuld fix her life, and he doesnt want to leave me also

i am very very confused n broke...

i am a different kind of a woman, i can accept my husband after he has done so much wrong also, but i cant share my husband with any woman, if that is the only situation with myhusband i wil quite this relation he can come and visit his daughter anytime but wid me he cant b same. this is me as a person...

what am i suppoe to do i m very confused and broke...i have lost myhusband the person to whom i got married has changed...

why has all this happened with me :'( i m very very broke...

i cant leave this world also as i got my daughter whose looking forward to me in every step of her life..

nor can i leave y husband  i love him alot and i cant do wat hes asking me to do.. in a indirect way i knw he stil wants me to accept wat he has done... but i cant i really cant..

may Allah help me

muslim_sister