Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Husband has admitted committing zina with ex-wife


Betrayal by a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences in life.

Betrayal by a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences in life.

My husband married a woman from his native country 7 years ago. He divorced her 6 years ago with 3 talaaq. But never told her of his decision he only said the words in my presence. He also since that time has said he divorces her on many occasions since then a total in excess of 7 times. Every year he has gone back to his native country to visit his son who he had with her before his divorce.

I have just come to know that he has lived with her as husband and wife so as not to upset his family there (he has admitted he is committing zina). Not only that but he has had another child with his ex-wife last year. I am beside myself with anger and betrayal. What should I do? Do I ask for divorce? Should I inform his family that he is committing Zina with this woman?

- Zahara

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4 Responses »

  1. Salaam my sister,

    I am sorry that you are experiencing this betrayal.

    It sounds very much like he was never divorced from her in the first place, and that it is not zina that he is practicing, but polygamy.

    He has been lying to you for very long time, and this will all take a while to sink in because it is betrayal on such a massive scale.

    I would advise that you take no action whilst you are in a state of shock and anger, and that you go to someone whom you trust who can support you emotionally whilst you think carefully and consider what you want to do.


    Editor, Islamic Answers

  2. Assalamu alaykum Sister Zahara,

    Your Lord has revealed something for you:

    35. And if ye fear a breech between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware. - Surah An Nisaa.

    Did you do that as mentioned above by your Lord?

    128. If a woman feareth ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace is better. But greed hath been made present in the minds (of men). If ye do good and keep from evil, Lo! Allah is ever Informed of what ye do.
    129. Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so): But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.
    130. But if they separate, Allah will compensate each out of His abundance. Allah is ever All Embracing, All Knowing.
    - Surah An Nisaa.

    Insha Allah if you read each verse very carefully, you will find a way of approach to the situation and Insha Allah find a solution as well.

    Your brother.

  3. salaamu'alaykum

    wallaahi he needs to be stoned to death!!!!

    i ask Allaah to make your affairs easy sister, BUT ONE THING I WOULD ADVICE YOU TO DO is to never ever think about going back with him, as he has polluted YOUR BED.and has taken away from you the sweetness of the bed.

  4. salam,

    I agree with Umm-Az-Zubayr,

    A man who has drinked, smoked, lied can be forgiven. A MAN WHO HAS CHEATED, can never be forgiven.
    When he does cheat on you, IT IS ZINA. polygamy or whatever. He dosen't respect you and will do it again if no action was taken.

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