Islamic marriage advice and family advice

In a haram relationship, negative dream but ready to marry someone else

Love and marriage

Asalamu Alaikum,

I am in a tricky situation as you can tell from my title. First and foremost i am 22. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 3.5 years and i intended to marry this man. There is nothing that I don't like and he loves me very much too, we are both very happy and we intended to get married next year.

Howver recently, a really good proposal has come for me, not from my boyfriend's family but someone else. My family member really like this guy he is pretty much perfect in every way he prays, own business and is settled we'll alhamdulillah. My family persisted I go and see this guy because he was perfect . So I figured what could be the harm in just seeing him and maybe he could be the ideal husband but most likely i am just going to say no to him because I am happy with my current boyfriend.

My current boyfriend, isn't very wealthy, doesn't pray 5x currently but he is the purest from all hearts, he wouldn't hurt a soul!

I decided to see this guy behind my boyfriends back, and I realised this guy is really good in every way. I started to have second thoughts about my current boyfriend and I was constantly comparing. I was then told to do istikhara because I wasn't sure about the guy I went to see.

I performed istikhara , prayed 2 nafl and went to sleep I did this for 2 nights. I had a dream. I had a dream that my me and my boyfriend where going out to eat (this was before marriage) we had a really nice evening he brought me flowers and then we went to his house. The same evening I was suppose to meet the guy ( the one who I got a proposal from) so I told my boyfriend I need to leave at 9 and that's when I was going to meet him. My boyfriends mom saw me for the first time and she was being really rude towards me calling me fat , bad person , not right for him etc. And he didn't say much . In the dream I went home crying and said to myself I am never going back to him again. and I felt really bad because I didn't get to meet that guy because his mom was being horrible to me and I kept him waiting.

I really confused, is my dream telling me my boyfriend is not good for me ? Is it telling me this because we are in a haram relationship? I mainly did istikhara to see whether this guy my family want me to get married to is good for me.

please brothers and sisters I really need help and it's driving me crazy do help me if you can.



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6 Responses »

  1. Having boyfriend is haraam .i suggest you Marry your current bf as you have spent 3plus years with him else you will keep remembering him if you get married to new man.

  2. There's no such thing as having a boyfriend in Islam. What your doing is wrong. Playing with people's heart. If you truly like your bf then why are you acting like a player, which a lot of guys do when it's time to get married they dump their side chick and get married to girl of their parents choice.

  3. Assalamualaikam

    You're treating both of these men incredibly unfairly. Consider how you would feel in their positions - in fact, read the posts on this website written by people who have been in their positions.

    Honestly, I would suggest you take some time away from both of them and focus on sorting out your own connection with Allah. Reflect on what has been going on in your life and try to recognise and repent for your errors. Once you're in a better place in terms of your faith and your lifestyle, then you'll inshaAllah be in a better position to start building a future with someone.

    Midnightmoon editor

  4. I would agree i think you should stick with him your current bf but wallahi Allah SWT does not look at wealth or how much ebadat that one does but looks at the heart of a person you have given your time and effort to ur bf but Allah SWT does not like it whe you break another person heart because that js where Alllah SWT is i think you should stick with marying your bf as your family will agree and be happy and please do communicate with him and tell him this men are understanding inshallah hope you follow your heart and make the right choice

    • "Allah SWT does not like it whe you break another person heart"

      This viewpoint is completely wrong. His heart will be broken because he was engaged in un-Islamic and haram activities. If he was serious about being with this woman, he should have married her instead of carrying on and boyfriend and girlfriend for 3.5 years. She should end her relationship with him and move on with the man who is actually coming with a proposal, like a good Muslim should.

      Wael Editor

  5. This is so sad, how can you even treat both guys especially your boyfriend like this? Pls marry your bf and forget about the second guy. No one deserves to be treated in such a way. Or just leave them both alone

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