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Forbidden love

Assalam O Alaikum,

I was with someone for eight months. He was my first Boyfriend and I knew how totally wrong it was but I still let it happen. I see things differently now. I was with my sisters one night and he came to see me. We got caught by our parents and and he said he wanted to talk to my parents. He told them he wanted to marry me. I should have realized then not to see him alone but I still did. I feel horrible now and will never let it happen again.

Please help me to get over it.

ak23453.

Leyla's Answer:

Salaam ak23453,

I am sorry that you have found yourself in this situation.

Repentance is when:

1.) You give up the sin straight awy

2.) You regret what has happened in the past

3.) You resolve not to go back to the subject of your repentance

4.) You repent before Allah

On the subject of forgiveness:

“Allaah accepts only the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and foolishness and repent soon afterwards; it is they whom Allaah will forgive and Allaah is Ever All-Knower, All-Wise.  And of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil deeds until death faces one of them and he says: ‘Now I repent;’ nor of those who die while they are disbelievers. For them We have prepared a painful torment” [al-Nisaa’ 4:17-18]

“…your Lord has written (prescribed) Mercy for Himself, so that if any of you does evil in ignorance, and thereafter repents and does righteous good deeds, then surely, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-An’aam 6:54]

“And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allaah’s forgiveness, he will find Allaah Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Nisaa’ 4:110]

Therefore, as long as you follow the steps above, and you are sincere in your repentance, you do many good deeds and stay away completely from the wrong that you have done: it will only be a matter of time before you begin to feel better, and you will begin to move forward.

No one can really say how long guilt can last for, as it varies from sin to sin and from person to person. Therefore, it is important for you to focus on Allah, and turning away from wrongful actions, pray for forgiveness and guidance and inshAllah, a door will open for you in your life, and you will feel a lift in yourself and a direction that you should be going with and you will feel in yourself that you are getting over it.

Peace,

Leyla

Editor,Islamic Answers