Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Married girl masturbating

Sexless marriage, lack of intimacy, no sex

Assalamualaikum
I'm married girl and my husband has no interest in me from past many years he didn't touch me almost 4 years
Honestly i miss sex badly
I mastrubate sometimes
Is it sin?

I asked my husband straightly for sex but he ignores and leaves the room or go to sleep

Please tell what i must do??

aminak

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12 Responses »

  1. Salam sister,

    I know the feeling. My husband and I had intercourse 5/6 times at max this year.
    And it’s onmy when he wants abs how he wants it.
    More than this the connection that intimacy creates between and husband and a wife is dying.
    I don’t desire him anymore because I feel completely undesired too.
    What has caused your husband to loose sex drive?
    Is there any health issue?
    4 years is a long time...
    I would recommend that you try to speak to him about it and try to understand what is happening.
    Sex is amongst the right a spouse has in marriage and denying this is a great sin.

    All the best sister.

  2. Bismillah
    If masstubating is a sin your husband is the one getting punished for that sin, for not fulfilling your needs

  3. If your husband doesn't care about your needs at all, and shows no willingness to try to fix your dysfunctional sex life, then you are more or less left with two choices:

    1) Accept this reality
    2) Get a divorce

    Islamically, you have the grounds for seeking a divorce.

  4. Try to talk with your husband about him avoiding sex with you. Be prepared for just about any explanation. He may have a sexual dysfunction and be embarrassed about it. He might be gay. He may have a relationship with another woman. If talking to him is not possible, then you should have a talk with a divorce lawyer. There is absolutely no reason to stay married to some one who does not want you. If anyone wants to start with talk about being patient, how divorce causes Allah's throne to shake, and more warnings, they are not being knowledgeable or fair. Marriage involves a man and woman, their feelings and needs. Your husband has failed you and neglected you. Time to move on. Don't add on to your misery and unhappiness.

    • I am observing that you are encouraging people for divorce everywhere ,Are you frustrated with your own marriage ?

      • When people write that they have already tried other options to no avail, what other advice is there to give to them than suggest divorce as an option? It's not about encouraging divorce, it's about being realistic and understanding that some people just don't want to put in the effort to make their marriage to work out. So why should anyone who's married to someone like that be advised to waste their time and energy on a person that doesn't give a crap?

        • If some body want to take divorce they will take it finally as our minds and bodies are programmed to tolerate it for certain extents only .

          If you go by strictly theoretical way then everybody should divorce each other as no body is perfect both from Islamic and word point of view ..

  5. @Star it's her God given right to divorce! !! Are you one of those husbands who watch porn,Masturbate or cheat but don't have sex with their own wife??? Or are you a desperate wife with a husband like that and just because you choose to stay in a disfunctional marriage you advice people to stay although she has islamically every right to divorce??? What is your problem if Allah swt gave her this right???
    Why should she stay and be miserable and unhealthy because of another human beeing if her Lord gave her permission? ??it doesn't make sense. Sex it's a very important part of marriage, islamically!!!
    She will inshaAllah move on and find someone who respects her and her God given rights!!! Be wise leave before kids are involved, it will only get worse trust me.

    • Muslim girl,

      No .I am not the one from the categories you have mentioned .

      If some body want to take divorcee they will take it finally as our minds and bodies are programmed to tolerate it for certain extents only .

      There is no point encouraging people for divorce externally .

      If you go by strictly theoretical way then everybody should divorce each other as no body is perfect .

      • @Star wooow your comment "If you go by strictly theoretical way then everybody should divorce each other as no body is perfect ."
        Are you beeing serious? ??how old are you?? I genuinely would like to know??? How can you even compare ?? Obviously no one in their right mind would divorce over small imperfections but this goes way beyond it.
        It is about her right which Allah gave her and I doubt if the marriage is even valid if one doesn't have sex with their spouse for a period of time!!
        So if the marriage is islamically not valid if one of the spouses wants to have sex and the other one refuses to do anything about it how can you advice her to stay???
        She has not only the right to divorce but in this situation the marriage would become invalid anyways!!!!

        She might be tempted to do haram that's why she married in the first place to protect her from zina but her husband is not willing to have sex with her so she should risk her akhira for another human beeing? ? I don't think so!!!!

  6. So I’m in the same boat right now. My husband and I have been fighting since we had kids, been married four years. Honestly, i know full well he doesn’t like me and that’s why he doesn’t touch me. To be honest, I don’t like him either. But we are human with human needs and We are in this cycle where he thinks I don’t respect or support him (even though I am a full time stay at home wife/mom) and I do the bare minimum for him bc he hasn’t taken my needs seriously. I don’t know how to talk to him bc he gets defensive and it’s a huge fight. I want things to be better and I almost feel selfish to walk away from him bc I’m not gettin any. My kids love their dad and I’m staying in this hot bed of dysfunction for them. It feels wrong though. And it’s draining everything that was ever good out of me.

  7. This is strange..there is some things that have to be asked..is he a practicing God fearing man.....??then I can understand.but if he doesn't PRAY then something is wrong.which leave 2? Is he gay or is he cheating.and if is private is not working.For you masturbating is evil.rhink about it the devil is inside you and you are playing with yourself visualizing a person or else?Learn your deen and practice it .read Quran morning and evening min. Read some hadith attend women's functions at the Sunni mosque.get INVOLVE basically.because if you are not purifying yourself and cleaning that heart .the heart will get black from sins that it will become so hard to listen to the words of Allah and his rasul. You must clearly understand the purpose of a humanbeing in this short lived life..Allah has created you and me and all to test us !an examination. Allah is the controller of hearts.A man cannot even blink with our the permission of Allah!!!Just read to what Muhammad the SEAL of prophets says about a person when he is departed from this world.I remember when I got married .the sheik said 1 thing Not too much jiggy jiggy because it will take the light from your face

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