Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is his psychosis causing him to sin?

Mental illness symptoms.

Some symptoms of mental illness.

Assalam aleykum to all.

I have been in a relationship with a man for the last 6 years. He had an injury before, so we couldn't get married. I persevered and waited until he got healed, but still he was not ready for us to marry. By that time I had one child already, and was expecting a second last year. I found a way to go to my dad and explained everything to him, and my dad said we can sign a nikkah form and take it to him to sign, so that we can live a halal life. I came back and he accepted.

I returned to my new husband with my sister as I was 6 months pregnant, and I needed help. My husband tried to seduce my sister to sleep with him. One day I travelled, but she refused to come with me. They hid this from me for two months, until an argument came up when she shared this incident. I sent her away to my uncle and forgave my husband. This was in August 2016.

A month later I was due. I went to a clinic one day and had a vagotomy done by a man against my husband's wishes, but I had to know about the baby because I was feeling so much pain. A month later I had to go to my mother-in-law's so she could assist with the delivery and baby stuff. A while into my 40 days, my husband told me he felt sick mentally, and I had to get back to him. On my arrival he seemed like a different person and completely confused, he asked weird questions and sometimes he beat me. He quarreled and insulted his parents.

He confessed to me that after I left, he had gone to a hotel room with two women then asked them to play with each other as he watched, then he ejaculated on the thighs of one of them without intercourse. He also mentioned he was chatting with other women on his phone. He says his mental condition of psychosis leads to all this, but I don't believe him. He asked for forgiveness, so I forgave him. But living with him has become unbearable and I no longer trust him. What should I do?

-anonymous

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7 Responses »

  1. This man doesn't see well there is something very evil apart of him and you need to get away from him Even yourself have evil and need to reoend and seek forgiveness from God. You have committed adultery and will be going to the worst of hell if you don't repent

    • Brother Ahmed,

      She had a premarital relationship, yes, but how has she committed adultery? That is when you are married and sleep with another person other than your spouse. Be careful of throwing terms like this around, as it is akin to spreading lies about someone.

      Good Day,

      Nor

  2. He must take you for a fool!

    You knew the sort of disgraceful, characterless person he is from the time he tried it on with your sister. You should have left him after he refused to marry you having waited 6 years - that was a huge betrayal but you kept forgiving him.

    Its not acceptable for him to try it on with your sister and he must think you're stupid if you actually believe him about his 'limited' activities with the prostitutes.

    What he is telling you is that he is not happy with you sexually and its not because there is something wrong with you but because thats the sort of man he is - thats why he tried it on with your sister and countless other girls you don't know about.

    There is no psychosis, he is just letting out who he is, surely you knew that a long time ago but chose to ignore it.

    Its time to cut your losses and move out. If that doesn't change him, nothing will.

  3. OP: He confessed to me that after I left, he had gone to a hotel room with two women then asked them to play with each other as he watched, then he ejaculated on the thighs of one of them without intercourse. He also mentioned he was chatting with other women on his phone. He says his mental condition of psychosis leads to all this, but I don't believe him..................
    My husband tried to seduce my sister to sleep with him. One day I traveled, but she refused to come with me. They hid this from me for two months, until an argument came up when she shared this incident.

    No it is not psychosis. What difference it makes where he "ejaculated"? Stop believing every thing your husband says.
    One treatment for psychosis is electro-shock therapy. Suggestions of that may cure him.

  4. Asslaamualaykum Sister,

    I'm sorry about all this. It sounds appalling.

    Demand that since he claims psychosis, he see a psychiatrist and take any prescribed medications. If he refuses to do so, I would leave him. If he does so and this sort of behavior stops, then you know that it was mental illness.

    Just for your information, I take medications for psychosis myself.

    Best,

    Nor

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