Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How can I remove my past relationship from my mind?

sad woman looking out the window

Assalam O Alaikum,

Actually my problem is that I am a Muslim girl and was in relationship with Hindu guy. At that time, I didn't know that this is very wrong, but as I grow up and came to know that what all I am doing is so worse. I broke up with him.

But he loves me very much and he cares for me a lot. I told him to convert, but due to his family problems he can't.

So now 2 years passed and we never contacted each other, but I can't forgot his love. I don't  want to miss him, I don't want to think about him, but my mind always thinks about him and I miss him so much.

please suggest something which could help me forget those memories forever. I want to forget him but I can't.

I don't what takes over me because when he is in front of me, I start thinking about him only. I can't rub his thoughts and memories from my mind. In last two years after I broke up with him; there is not a single day that I don't think about him.

I am going to go mad. plz help me....


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5 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    This excerpt taken from should give you some good ideas to work with on getting over that person:

    We covet what we think about

    .... One type of common question I get is from a young person who is madly in love with someone who is unavailable. Maybe the unavailable person is already married, or is not interested, or the parents do not approve, but it’s clear that the match is impossible.

    One thing I tell such a young person is, stop thinking about the object of your desire. When the thoughts come, push them away. Absolutely do not spend your time gazing at photographs of him/her, reading old emails, dwelling on what-ifs, and fantasizing, because that will only reinforce your obsession, and keep the unavailable person in your mind.

    What we think about, we come to desire.

    With dhikr, we are using this principle for good. By constantly praising Allah, we keep Him in our minds and hearts. The more we do so, the more we come to desire His love, His forgiveness, and His presence. The more we think about Allah, the more we want to please Him. It becomes a beautiful cycle of remembrance and blessings, reinforcing each other.

    That’s why Allah described the believers as,

    “Who remember Allaah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides.” [3:191]

    “…and the men who remember Allaah often and the women who do so – for them Allaah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.” [33:35]

    “O you who have believed, remember Allaah with much remembrance. And exalt Him morning and afternoon.” [33:41-42]

    the link to the full article is

    Islamic Editor

  2. deepika, what do you mean, "when he is in front of me, I start thinking about him only."? Why would he be in front of you? Do you still see him? If so, then that is obviously the problem. You need to stay away from him, don't look at his Facebook page, don't call him, get rid of his photos, delete any old text messages, and start over completely.

    Alhamdulillah that you did the right thing in the end. When you give up something for the cause of Allah, Allah rewards you with something better.

    As far as the pain, it takes time. You have to fill that empty space with something better.

    Here's a poem of mine to illustrate this point:

    Fill it With Al-Fatihah

    Wounded brother, sister in belief:
    pour out your cup of hurt and grief
    and fill it with lavender leaf.
    Fill it with sunlight seed
    and the moon’s reedy laugh.
    Fill it with the history of grass,
    and the joy of breath.
    Fill it with hope
    and the poetry of God.

    Fill it with Quran
    and the moment before dawn.
    Fill it with Allah’s soul-saving light,
    and the power of His love
    expressing in your life.
    Fill it with dhikr like gold,
    and Prophetic stories
    that were old
    a thousand years ago.

    Fill your cup with beach foam
    and the smell of baking bread;
    with the mark of prayer
    impressed upon your head;
    with lemon drop soup
    and the comfort of your bed.
    Fill it with gratitude
    for His gifts from above.
    Fill your cup, and laugh,
    for you are loved.

    Wael Abdelgawad Editor

  3. Sister r u muslim then why its mentioned as Deepika. Any sin in ignorance is foorgiveable and inshallah allah forgives. Blame your parents for not giving proper guidance. Do you wantthis perishable world or the eternal hereafter. This is short living temporary journey. Being a muslim is the best and the geatest gift from allah ,so donot spoil it. Empty mind is devils workshop. Aperson should not get emotionally or physically so attach to any living or non living thing that teh existence becaomes difficult. Lot of websites are available gain kowledge devout your time to allah ask his help. Imagine if the person you love was dead then? Convering for the sake of love is useless it should be the love for allah . You contradict youself by writing you dont want to miss him aswell do not want to think about him , then nobody can change your present state of affair . you first be decisive what do you want. By the way there is nothing call love because if love was to be permanent then no man would have arried more than once priority choice likness affection keep on changing and love can vanish within seconds from one act.

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