Weak emaan after discovering husbands adultery and pregnant mistress
My emaan is very weak! My husband accepted khula after I found out he got a woman pregnant less than a month before our nikah? I have tried to talk to him, but he refuses. I am a revert sister and have no muslim friends I could ask for advice about this. My wali moved to Saudi just before this happened and his wife miscarried their child so, although he is aware of what happened he has been pre-occupied. I do not know what to do? Please advise, jazak Allah Khair
-Janeh
Entries(RSS)
Salaams,
So you married a man, and after you married you found out before the wedding that he had gotten another lady pregnant. In response, you have asked him to annul your marriage (the meaning of the word 'khula', in my understanding). Now he refuses to talk to you, and you have no one else to turn to.
I can understand how confusing this whole situation must feel for you. I agree with you that you need strong, ongoing guidance on how to best manage not only what has already happened, but what steps you are going to take as you resolve this matter. Is there someone local to where you are that your Wali trusts who he could refer you to, and you can discuss this matter with that person? I realize that what he himself must be going through is difficult, but surely he knows others who can support you in your time of need as well.
If not, you might have to try to get in touch w/your local imam and try to get resources or advice directly from him. If there are any interfaith therapists/counselors in your area, or even better-Muslim ones- it might not hurt to try to get in touch with them for assistance.
I don't think your request for an annullment was unreasonable given what he did, since it was so recent to the time of your wedding. You need to be able to trust the man you married, and look forward to a life of his honor toward you, and he destroyed that with his actions. He also has to bear the responsibility of having brought a child into this world with someone who was not his wife. If you all were to stay married, managing that very tricky situation would be a very difficult test for everyone involved.
This is a very sad situation and I am truly sorry that you are dealing with this, but please know that with every difficulty comes ease. Surely our dua is with you and we all hope for the best outcome of your situation. I truly believe that Allah may have been saving you from worse hurt by revealing this about your husband's character sooner than later (remember, He is both Concealer and Revealer, and nothing He does is without wisdom), so take heart that Allah is going to provide for you a better future than you may have had otherwise.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor