What should I do about talking to my future wife?
aoa. Brothers and sisters please help me... my guilt is increasing day by day.
Here my problem is... actually my parents finalized my marriage with one of our relatives.. there is no nikkah but just a formality exist. Simply my meaning is our marriage is confirmed and I can talk to that girl. Actually the problem is, I always keep my talk limited but with the passage of time we have evolved a strong relationship and sometimes, some times we both cross the limits a little bit in terms intimacy over phone. Now if I stop talking to her she thinks I am being distant and if I talk to her sometimes my conversation goes a bit bad. I am feeling very guilty as what should I do? She will be my future wife and can not do some thing wrong... Plz help me... if I stop talking, I start feeling depression and if I keep on talking (not very much though) it sometimes gets a bit romantic...help me plz.
saivar00
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When you speak to her, do it in front of a family member, such as your parents or your siblings. Just bring the phone to a common space like the living room or the kitchen. That way even if someone isn't around all the time, there is still the possibility that someone could walk in on you at any minute and that should Inshallah keep you in check. Encourage her go do the same also. If these inappropriate conversations happen when you are out with her, always make sure that you go out to places where people are within earshot of your conversation. Don't sit in a corner at a distance from others, rather sit in full view of everyone. Inshallah this will make you both more self-conscious of what you say.
Dear Brother,
if possible send me message on this email I might just have a solution
Dear, I m belong from India but now i m in Qatar, 2 days before i say my wife Talaque 3 times over the phone when i was angry, but now my father force me to make touba and accept her. If i do touba....my nikah will remain the same????
Please advice me as soon as possible or guide me what should i do. I also want to accept her. Now a days i am not taking with her since when anyone will guide me.
Mohammad, you should know that saying talaq three times is haram. That is not the correct Islamic procedure of divorce and the Messenger of Allah (sws) became quite angry when he learned that people were doing it. Some scholars consider the triple talaq to be irrevocable - that is, it is a final divorce that cannot be stopped. Others consider it - even though it is a bad practice - to be the same as a single divorce. If we take the latter view, that it is the same as a single divorce, then you are still in your 'iddah (your waiting period) and you are free to make tawbah and take your wife back if you choose. I advise you in the future to control your tongue when you are angry. Pronouncing talaq is not a small thing. Be more careful and do not utter such words unless you are absolutely intent on ending your marriage.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I don't think your supposed to disclose your email add, I'm sure you can write a solution on this site !!
With re: to the brother asking the question, why don't you explain how your feeling to your future wife, tell her that you don't want to fall into sin so that she understands and helps you stay strong. And also use the advice above - talk in a public place so that you keep within normal limits. Another thing I would suggest is getting your nikkah done sooner, since your going to be marrying her anyway?