Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Advice about marriage and sickle cell

Sickle cell anaemia is an inherited illness. If two carriers have children, there is a 1 in 4 chance of each child being affected with sickle cell anaemia.

Sickle cell anaemia is an inherited illness. If two carriers have children, there is a 1 in 4 chance of each child being affected with sickle cell anaemia.

please, I really need your advice. I'm about to get married and the issue of genotype get involved. we both have same genotype As vs As. and medically it is not advisable for us to get married together. but now we are both scared not to have sickle cell kids in future. and we are both over due for marriage. should we continue our marriage and leave everything to Allah or we should end the relationship?

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14 Responses »

  1. if that man is a very pious person on tawheed continue ur marriage and leave it to Allah.

  2. Assalamu Alaikum,

    Brother, I think you have all the details you need. There is one in four chances, as the picture above points out, that you will have a child with sickle cell anemia. Are there other affectees in your family? If yes, then you probably have a fair idea of what to expect with the care for a child with sickle cell anemia.
    If not then i think I can list down some points:
    Regular blood tranfusions,
    Any illness with fever, even a sore throat, can turn into a medical emergency because they have increased risk of serious infections,
    Pain in hands and feet, will require pain killers every now and then,
    Stroke. Some of them maybe silent strokes that, with time, will affect the child's intelligence
    Regular blood tests, ultrasound of blood vessels to brain
    Some future surgeries and regular medications
    Kidney and heart diseases in the long run

    You already have a medical opinion. No matter, how much you love your child, such intensive care is very tiring. The child will also be miserable because he/she will not be able to live like a normal child. There will be restrictions in physical activity, schooling no matter how much you and your doctor try to keep it normal for your child. Not to mention the financial burden

    Another thing, there is a 1 in 4 chance of everychild being affected. That does not mean that if you have 4 children, only one will be affected. Each of them can be affected. That is a possibility.

    Allah SWT has asked us to use our brains. If you know something is a possibility why do you want to make it a reality? Everybody in your family, community should seek to find people who do not carry this gene so that its effects can get masked.

    Pray to Allah and go for the logical decision of not marrying.
    This is to the best of my understanding. Wallahu Alam

    • Yes, Sr.midnightmoon and shereen are right, only Allah knows the future, we as humans can only give percentages and possibilities and opinions to the best of our knowledge and understanding.
      I was unsure about whether to write : 'go for the logical decision of not marrying'. I do think Sr. Midnightmoon and Sr. Shereen 's opinion are better than mine. They have put it down so much better.

    • Salam,

      I agreed with Doc on not marrying and believe he has a very compassionate response to your post.

      May Allah reward you for your trial and bring ease for you.

      Nor

  3. Salam alaikum,

    Alhamdulilah that this is the ONLY reason that you two are not considering marriage. So many others on this website are lost in cultural clashes, age, status, money, religion, and family issues that prevent them from marrying.

    While it is admirable to think for the well being of your children, this may be a bit of a stretch. As you can see on the picture given to this article, there is a 3/4 chance of normality for every one of your future children. That's a 75% chance for positive outcomes. Medical DNA tests can only determine so much, but the true power rests with Allah swt.

    Allah swt says "know that your money and children are but a test for you", so make sure you pass this test, and value Allah's decisions higher than any doctor's opinion. All things are possible for Allah swt.

    If you are still afraid of endangering your children, know that there are alternatives to giving birth to your own children. You can adapt an orphan, or a baby who was given up. There is an enormous amount of sawab in adaption and helping of orphans. Our Prophet Muhammad pbuh was an orphan, and just imagine the sawab given to his caregivers.

    In any case, make dua and istikhara asking Allah swt for guidance.

    Salam,
    Shereen

    • Salam,

      "You can adapt an orphan, or a baby who was given up. There is an enormous amount of sawab in adaption and helping of orphans."

      I like this advice

      Nor

    • "Don't forget the saying of the prophet that says: "Takhayaruu Nutfatakunm, fainal-'irqo dasaas". meaning: "Make a good choice for your sperm, for the diseases of the blood are heritable". It is better to avoid a fitnah when it is avoidable. But I believe Istikhara does it all if done with pure and not biased mind."

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    Whether or not to get married is a decision only the two of you can make, so don't take someone else's decision on the matter. Consider the information you have, find out as much as you can from reputable sources about sickle cell, and pray istikhara to seek Allah's guidance (you might find it helpful to read our articles on istikhara, inshAllah).

    None of us knows what the future holds for us or for any children we might have. Only Allah knows this. But if you were to have a child who was unwell, modern medical science may be able to help inshAllah. There are also other options, such as adoption, which you could consider.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  5. A.O.A

    Well I suggest you to not to marry him,My brother had the same problem,he married one of our cousin and she gave birth to a girl who had extra brain and gets operated but she died after 7 months and next time she had to get through an abortion bcoz that baby was creating poison inside her,doctors said there are very very few chances for them to have a normal baby....
    Its been 8 years of their marriage,they are not happy at all,nor they love each other as she got so much hurt from past,they started having quarrels and they are not even together now (for some other reason including this) they are getting divorce soon....
    It was horrible for them and after that not even a single cousin marriage happened in my family again...

    On other hand, Maybe you both will live happily ever after but what about your children ,they won't be able to live a normal life they will always regret that why they even born..

    Im sorry if im being very negative but I experienced how it feels and how it will end..
    Best of luck

    Regards

  6. Leave him alone then

  7. Allah Subhan O Tala give us the knowledge, with knowledge comes the wisdom. What you questioning now is the wisdom you attain through knowledge and advancement in medicine and science. Use this knowledge to your advantage. Statically speaking you have 25% chances of having a child with sickle cell anemia, it can be your first child or you may have many kids and non of then have any such problem. No one knows beside Allah Subhan O Tala.

    Question is, are you ready to take the challenge in life if you get a child with sickle cell anemia? Are you and your partner on the same page? Before you seek advice from others, you and your partner needs to be clear about afterward expectations. Rather then making an impulsive or emotional decision, take your time, thought through and make an informed decision. And if you fell like, take Allah Subhan O Tala advise in your decision through istakhara.

  8. Because of modern science we know this.
    I'm not saying lets pretend science doesn't exist.. But before science we believed that Allah knows best. Now we look at science and decide should we or should we not? Is this right? I'm not sure
    But I do know that having a child is such a beautiful miracle.. You only know how amazing once experienced this... The growth of a family is so powerful , why should you limit this miracle?
    And Allah only gives us what we can handle... Have faith .. Love each other and everything else Allah with bless you with is truly a blessing !
    Inshallah all the best for you

  9. Imran: Use this knowledge to your advantage. Statically speaking you have 25% chances of having a child with sickle cell anemia, it can be your first child or you may have many kids and non of then have any such problem. No one knows beside Allah Subhan O Tala.

    If she marries a non-carrier of Sickle Cell trait. She will not have have any child with Sickle cell anemia. Fifty present chances that kid will carry Sickle cell trait like her.

  10. Statistically speaking, you have a 25% chance of having a miscarriage in the first trimester. I say, if you don't mind leaving then find someone new, if you can't then get married and don't worry about it.

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