Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Dealing with Islamophobia

turkish_hijab

I'm in the southern U.S., I'm in the process of converting because I feel this is the right path for me. I wear hijab now, as a young adult. In public, I don't get a lot of problems but what is  the greatest difficulty right now is part of my own family, who can't understand "why I want to dress like a Muslim." There is a lot of anger within them about it obviously and I would like to be able to have a conversation to actually communicate with them about it. I feel the best way to talk to one of them, who is very close to me, is to write a letter. I need advice on what to say. They are Christian and I don't have any problem with that. To me, as long as we're all worshipping the same God - the omniscient, the omnipotent, merciful, creator of Adam and Eve and all mankind - there should be no problem. I want my family to know that their anger is with terrorist groups  and not with Islam. We love God and don't want any harm... I've never been happier and I'm excited to be closer with God. I just don't want to be without my family. I love them and they love me and are worried, I suppose. What do I say to make them see the truth?

JustHere

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3 Responses »

  1. In the name of God Almighty,the only one ,the most merciful and most gracious

    Sister ,

    You live in US so I would like to suggest you watch some lectures of Sheikh Yousuf Estes as he has a chrisitian back ground and great Muslim Scholar.You can visit his website and ask guidance from him personally for yourself and whole of your family,I believe he can make your family satisfy.Sheikh Yousuf Estes is a blessing of God for american peoples who can guide them towards the right path of Islam in this 21st century.

    May God guide you the right path.

  2. Salam sister..My sister my mom converted to Islam later in life when she was raised as a strong catholic from Portugal...It was not easy her families never excepted her for the longest time until now the brothers and sisters excepted it ? I guess .As her son I learned the hard way because my father was a weak muslim and he didn't know much other then being a muslim by name...Well as the story goes .I time came in my life were I needed answers to death and Islam full filled all those answers...From this I studied in U.k about Islam and from there I married a women sunni scholor and a phycologist ..Who is a mother of 2 presently...I am so lucky and blessed. There a few important things you must know before I answer this question in short..Alot of new muslims get confused and follow a wrong ideology that can be deceiving. .1)You should be a Sunni muslim and follow one of the four major shool of thoughts..EG I follow Abu Hanifa ..as well as my wife..This will keep you on the correct path..Maliki ,Shafi and hanbal are all correct too.Remember these are great imams who studied and taught there whole life.
    THE REASON WHY IS BECAUSE ALLAH EXCEPTED THEM .A NEED FOR QUESTIONS THAT WOULD ARISE IN DAILY AFFAIRS FOR NOW AND EVER LIKE DIVORCE ABORTION BLOOD TRANSFUSION MURDER DECEASED NON MUSLIM .....THIS LIST GOES ON .THESE SCHOLORS WHO WERE JURISTS AND THE PEOPLE NEEDED THEM THEN AND NOW.SO PICK ONE...YOU CAN DO YOUR RESEARCH AND BE CAREFUL WHO YOU ASSOCIATE AND ASK QUESTIONS..ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE RIGHT TO ANSWER QUESTIONS ARE SCHOLORS WHO LEARNED FOR 8 YRS MIN AT A DURUL LOOM AND KNOW QURAN BY HEART OR LANGUAGE. .DON'T MAKE THAT ARABS ARE SUPERIOR THEN OTHERS...ALLAH HAS SAID THE BEST IS THE ONE WHO IS PIOUS AND FEARS ALLAH MUCH.SO RESEARCH AND MAKE SURE SOURCES ARE CORRECT..SHAITAN IS VERY SNEAKY AND WILL DO HIS BEST TO CONFUSE YOU.2ND LOOK AT THE STORY OF THE PIETY OF ABU HANIFA PARENTS.IT'S A GREAT STORY!FOR YOUR FAMILIES FRIENDS CLASSMATES JOB ...THIS WILL BE YOUR TEST AND THAT'S WHAT WE BEEN CREATED FOR.SO BE PATIENT AND BE ABSORBED IN ALLAH FOR SURELY HE WILL ALWAYS THERE TO PROTECT YOU SO BE SILENT WHEN THERE'S AGGRESSION OR ANGER.THIS IS THE GREAT STEP IN DEVELOPING WISDOM..FOR OUR PROPHET HAS SHOWN US HOW WE LIVE ARE LIFE IN EVERY ASPECT.THE BEST OF ROLE MODELS..IN FACT SUCCESS IN THIS WORLD IS ONLY OBEYING THE COMMANDMENTS OF ALLAH THROUGH THE TEACHINGS OF OUR PROPHET MUHAMMAD S.A.W. THIS IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS...EG..IF A PERSON DEALS WITH ANY INTEREST AND THE PROPHET HIMSELF CURSE THAT PERSON THE LENDER THE BORROWER WHO EVER IS INVOLVED WILL NEVER SUCCEED IN LIFE. HE GETS THE ANGERMAN OF ALLAH..TODAY YOU CAN SEE THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD ECONOMICALLY FINANCIALLY PEOPLE IN DEBT DIVORCE RATES HIGH...THIS IS THE OUTCOME BE IT MUSLIM OR NON MUSLIM..AND THE THE POOR MUSLIM AT HIS MERCY SAYS WHY DOESN'T ALLAH ANSWER MY DUAS..THE GREAT SCHOLORS SAY FIRST KNOW WHAT IS HALAL AND HARAM.IN EVERYTHING..MUSIC AND QURAN DON'T MIX .FOOD WERE DID IT CAME FROM? IS THERE GELATIN MEAT PORK ETC..CLOTHING IS IT SEXUAL AS WELL AS FACE...WE SHOULD LEARN SIMPLICITY. ..YOU SEE ONLY THE LIGHT OF GOD PUTS A SHINE ON THE FACE ..IF YOU UNDERSTAND THIS.LEARNING TO PRAY SALAH IS THE BIGGEST ONE NEXT TO EXCEPTING KALIMAH..THE SCHOLORS SAY LESS THEN 5% OF THE MUSLIMS ARE PRAYING SALAH AND OUT OF THE 5% ONLY 1 % PRAY WITH CONCENTRATION AND DEVOTION..SO WE MUST MASTER IT CORRECTLY AND THE ETIQUETTES OF SALAH..LEARN TO READ QURAN THAT IS FORT AND DEFENCE WALL AROUND YOU...ATTEND SUNNI MOSQUE LECTURES AND HELP COMMUNITY PROGRAMS MADRESSAH AND FUND RAISERS...AND MOST OF ALL EDUCATE YOURSELF SO YOU CAN BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT so you can move without beING a prisoner or go to hajj etc..Now many people will never except you and some will and others both sides of the fence but don't let that worry you for shaitan uses this against you..keeps your mind busy?Be like a tree firm solid always shiny .You always give fruit to everyone who comes to you. You provide shade (hospitality)AND LOWER YOUR BRANCH TO SERVE AND HELP...EVEN IF A DOG COMES TO YOU IT'S SCARED BECAUSE THOSE WHO FEAR ALLAH .ALLAH WILL MAKE EVERYTHING FEAR YOU.YOU DO KNOW THAT SHAITAN LIVES IN MOST OF THE PEOPLE LIVES THAT'S WHY I MENTIONED THIS..A PIOUS MAN ONCE SAID AN IDLE MAN'S BRAIN IS A DEVILS WORKSHOP! SO PROPHET SAID BE KIND AND ALWAYS TALK with GOOD WORDS. DO NOT SAY ANYthing bad about anyone .remain silent even if it is bad things said to you..Allah is the controller and the knower of everything understand this...Always protect your IMAN. ..when the heart is clean like a mirror then it will easily reflect.Lastly you must have a daily routine or else you will be unstable.This is the bare min.after fajr do some zikr min 100×astagfur 100×durood 100×3rd kalimah then read some quran this must be also before going to bed..hadith should be set a side anytime or collectively...because these are food for our soul.All scholors follow something like this .But is the punctuality that is important..My wife has a daily routine that I see..7rs in a islamic institute were all the women live eat learn together .She has so well adopted a routine that is unchangeable..tahajjud is the end result to the right direction.So sister be calm and because the best dawah is through actions...be kind helpful and happy that you will love you for who you are..This is the way of our prophet. .learn his life story and his situations..some good important things you must know...Go to you tube type diaries of an exorcist part 1 upto 13 I believe..it will educate on jinns how they work and evil eye effect etc...very important..that's why we avoid pics. Maulana Saad English bAyan. .Imam.com mufti menk is beneficial.Sh. Shabir alley from Toronto Canada he deals with alot of reverts. Goodluk sister.

  3. Crazybull,

    This is not sound advice. Again the hadith you point out are in hopes that the poster will leave the religion as they have nothing to do with the hijab. She needs to deal with her family such that she can maintain ties with them. Giving them an ultimatum when they are not ready for it may cause division in the family. Even if she believes in Islam and they are Christian, Allah does not wish for her to destroy family ties. She should be kind with them. Allah likes those who worship him whether they are Christian, Jewish, or Muslims:

    http://legacy.quran.com/22/40
    [They are] those who have been evicted from their homes without right - only because they say, "Our Lord is Allah ." And were it not that Allah checks the people, some by means of others, there would have been demolished monasteries, churches, synagogues, and mosques in which the name of Allah is much mentioned. And Allah will surely support those who support Him. Indeed, Allah is Powerful and Exalted in Might.

    Hopefully she will see them again in the afterlife:
    ***
    http://legacy.quran.com/2/62
    Indeed, those who believed and those who were Jews or Christians or Sabeans [before Prophet Muhammad] - those [among them] who believed in Allah and the Last Day and did righteousness - will have their reward with their Lord, and no fear will there be concerning them, nor will they grieve.
    ***

    Please ask God to guide you and then do so without bias and without desire to belong to a particular group. But if you disbelieve then it is better for you to not lead others to disbelief. Because doing so will qualify you for these verses:

    ***
    http://legacy.quran.com/7/44-45
    And the companions of Paradise will call out to the companions of the Fire, "We have already found what our Lord promised us to be true. Have you found what your Lord promised to be true?" They will say, "Yes." Then an announcer will announce among them, "The curse of Allah shall be upon the wrongdoers."

    Who averted [people] from the way of Allah and sought to make it [seem] deviant while they were, concerning the Hereafter, disbelievers.
    ***

    Salam.

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