Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Do leaving my family forever is considered as a sin?

Going on a trip, bags packed

Is it time to leave?

As Salam alaikum

Major(18) here, I literally can't say what is probably wrong with me, but the thing is I can say is I hate my family, especially my mom, she never understands me when ever I tries of sharing something with her, I really can't coz she won't talk to me she always abuses me, curses me nd alot, nd she always says tht I'm burden to the family, I know tht even my dad thinks of same but he don't express it. I'm still  here(in my home) is only for my father (it looks lyk he is only one who loves but I know even  he don't)  nd their (mom & dad) respect. I'm a pious girl pursuing alimah course(Islamic course) for my mom's satisfaction. I'm depressed actually they want me to get marry but I don't want to. I don't want to take it so long, all I'm expecting is a suggestion from here. I want to leave my home forever. Nd I don't know weather it is sin or not. I hope a valuable suggestion. Please help me let me know by leaving my home do Allah azwajal gets angry on me???


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2 Responses »

  1. Dear Tayyeba

    Sad to know of your situation. While it is not a sin to leave your parent's house and have an independant life, it is advisable to stay under your parents/guardians one who would care till you get married and have some one who would care for you. The question is can you lead an independant life without compromising your my opinion if you afford to live by yourself then why not give it a try perhaps by doing so you & your parents will be able to respect each other more.

    I feel your pain, you are at the age when you feel misunderstood & your parents who might be set in their ways and are not able make it right for you. No matter what a mother says they don't mean harm.parents expectation are some time too high and they get disappointed?but MashaAllah your are educating to be an Alamah, soon you will know, how to deal with difficult parents.. Give yourself time and remind yourself of the benefits of seBer make lot of Doa for your mother, try not to things that make your mother upset.some time you are not even doing anything wrong but parents perceive it wrong.
    You can get married once you have completed your education it might be a good thing. You would know as an Alema student, that is is advisable to get is Sunnah.

    Remember your parents wants what's best for you. Your only hope is Allah, do isteqaraH that is consulting Allah,till you find peace and are able to come to terms with things.Ask Allah to give you and your parents wisdom, to do the right thing. We as human are week and don't know what Allah's plans are. So please trust in Allah plan..& what ever will will be.

    May Allah ease your pain.

  2. It's not haram to leave, however, I think you should consider some things before you make the decision to actually follow through with it.

    1) Do you actually have the resources and means to take care of yourself? Do you have a stable income? Can you afford to pay rent and bills?

    2) I personally believe some people are better off with a distance between them. In an ideal world, all parents would be perfect, and all parents would be happy with everything their kids do. But life in not ideal, and sometimes parents are abusive. Sometimes kids are horrible. If your parents aren't forcing you into a marriage, I think you should stay with them for a couple of years and see if your relationship with them won't improve. From my own experience, I can tell you that parents are not immune to changing. My mum and dad are completely different people now compared to how they were just 5-10 years ago.

    My advice to you is to try to keep low key and, maybe, talk to trusted friends about the things you feel like you can't talk to your parents about. It's not abnormal for 18 year olds to feel like their parents don't understand them, or that they are unloved by their parents. I felt the exact same way when I was 18. Parents also don't make things better when they say stupid things like their kids are burdens. That's wrong of them, but...honestly, try your best to take their harsh words with a grain of salt. We all say dumb things we don't mean, sometimes. In the end of the day, parents, like the rest of us, are humans that make mistakes...

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