Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Faith, doubts, religion, Qadr/Predestination

Allah says in Surah ar-Rahman: "Then when the heaven is rent asunder, and it becomes rosy or red like red-oil, or red hide. Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?" The picture is taken by the NASA Hubble Space Telescope of the "Cat's Eye Nebula." It is an exploding star 3,000 lightyears away. We see it now in the years 1999/2000! And the Qur'an mentioned it more than 1400 years ago

Allah says in Surah ar-Rahman: "Then when the heaven is rent asunder, and it becomes rosy or red like red-oil, or red hide. Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?" The picture is taken by the NASA Hubble Space Telescope of the "Cat's Eye Nebula." It is an exploding star 3,000 lightyears away. We see it now in the years 1999/2000! And the Qur'an mentioned it more than 1400 years ago

I have been having these doubts recently...although I know the truth, the devil keeps playing with my mind. I keep doubting and questioning the truth by Allah... I want to stop these thoughts, : That things that happen to us esp minor things are mere coincidence and not an act of God. I want to be firm in my faith and be convinced that all small or big things are act of God, every single move we take..

Please Help,...I want an answer which will convince me and strengthen my faith and I'm able to fight the devil.

Jazak Allah khair

shamsin

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9 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaykum shamsin,

    You say:"...all small or big things are act of God..."

    You're right.

    Hope that helps inshallah.

    Hugs,

    Nor

  2. Salam,

    Think of this life as a test where the difficulty of the next question is based on how well you did on the last question. And since Allah knows everything, your next question is also known. As to how you will do on each question, that is up to you. There are times when the next loss is a test, there are other times when the next loss is related to your actions. It's difficult to tell which is which though. As sometimes, despite our actions Allah does not bring us loss and covers for our mistakes.

    http://legacy.quran.com/57/22-23
    Sahih International
    No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being - indeed that, for Allah , is easy -
    In order that you not despair over what has eluded you and not exult [in pride] over what He has given you. And Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful -

  3. As Salam Alaikum,

    You are asking an eternity question that 99.9% of world population wants to know the answer of. Recently, I have been through a lot as well, and I been searching for the answers all over. I am a science fanatic and also learning about religions. Also, I been searching for the signs of end of the world. From my understanding, lot of thing is proven according to Quran however some hadeeth says, we have a free will and we have a choice and some hadeeth says everything is written 50,000 years before we are born. So, that leave me with the question, why are we born the way we are? What makes one person special than other? Why some people get everything without asking Allah (swt) and why others live in misery? But, these are questions, no one will be able to answer except Allah (swt).

    So, now I decided not to do anything, let Allah (swt) play HIS plan. I have done everything in my power to live my life in harmony and peace but Allah (swt) gave me such a brain that no one can stand to it. In the mean time, I am still researching more on Science and Religion.

    Anyone wants to travel to Costa Rica in 2017?

    Take Care, Alllah Hafiz...

    • Your questions have answers in the Quran:
      legacy.quran.com/15/85-91
      Do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [certain] categories of the disbelievers, and do not grieve over them. And lower your wing to the believers

      http://legacy.quran.com/20/131-132
      And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.

      http://legacy.quran.com/3/178
      And let not those who disbelieve ever think that [because] We extend their time [of enjoyment] it is better for them. We only extend it for them so that they may increase in sin, and for them is a humiliating punishment.

      • Thank You M for pointing it out..

        That still does not answer the question of, did I do sin by marrying a muslim girl with a consent of my parents and her parents? It was not love marriage rather it all happen according to Islamic law. I know there are lot of verses in Quran such as

        "Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not."

        Then why in the 1st place Allah (swt) allowed me to get marry with her? I am sure she did not wanted divorce neither did I, we both wanted to live happily and enjoy either yet there were differences, we both just wanted Allah (swt) blessings and his mercy in our marriage.

        In fact, I would not be asking all this questions here, if we were living happily together and I would be giving Thanks to Allah (swt) everyday and I would have been preaching and telling everyone how Allah (swt) has granted such a wonderful marriage.

        I did not chose this path rather it was written 50,000 years before I was born, so the question is WHY? Why would you write something like that for doing the right thing? I am sure she never wanted our marriage to be broken, if Allah (swt) have just sent HIS blessings and mercy upon us we would be grateful even more. We both trusted Allah (swt) and did what was right according to Islamic Law.

        Anyway this conversation will never end and the answers will never justify what has been done.

        Allah Hafiz

        • Salam again,

          There's an answer for that question too. I recommend not having an expectation that by doing the right thing you will be guaranteed a reward in this life. Or that by asking for whatever you want and doing the right thing that you will obtain it. This life is a test.

          http://legacy.quran.com/2/155
          And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,

          Or you could ask to get everything now:

          http://legacy.quran.com/2/200-202
          And when you have completed your rites, remember Allah like your [previous] remembrance of your fathers or with [much] greater remembrance. And among the people is he who says, "Our Lord, give us in this world," and he will have in the Hereafter no share.

          http://legacy.quran.com/17/18
          Whoever should desire the immediate - We hasten for him from it what We will to whom We intend. Then We have made for him Hell, which he will [enter to] burn, censured and banished.

          Outside of this there are many other reasons why your marriage may have difficulties. I would look into this:
          https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-6-things-that-predict-divorce/

          Finally, the wife that you have would have worked fine for you provided you have a lot of humility. If you were 70 and she married you with a large age difference it is probable that you would treat her like gold despite the differences. But if you feel you can do better or she feels that, then the approach isn't with the thought that God granted me a spouse while others have not received one. The thought is why could I not get a better one than this one? And the marriage will not work well with that thought.

          In the end it won't matter as much, both men and women age and change and the love past the honeymoon period isn't the same. As time goes on relationships take more and more work. You and your spouse will find each other less attractive. So this life is just a test, your permanent non-aging wonderful spouse is not achievable in this life but you can ask for this in the afterlife. I recommend that over asking for it here. But other than this, if you feel you cannot stay within the rules set by Allah then you should separate instead of sinning. Good luck to you. Salam.

        • Salam,

          I didn't realize this, you're the guy that took his wife on a honeymoon to Umrah right? If you are then I would say your marriage failed based on that article:
          https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-6-things-that-predict-divorce/

          Based on what you've said you have low self esteem and the tool you go to to gain importance is anger. This leads you to criticism and contempt for your spouse. Two factors that predict divorce. One other thing that's good to know is that in anger we are actually less intellectually capable. So it is likely that one who turns to anger has a high chance of making a mistake during it, such as saying divorce three times.

          I wouldn't say that Allah hasn't blessed you, Allah did give you a wife. I think once you resolve your anger issues you won't have difficulty in getting married or keeping a wife. Just make sure she's not forced into it as it did seem the one you married had feelings for someone else. Salam and good luck.

        • Assalaamualaykum Mohamad.n,

          Please try to remember that Allah knows best and try not to let others' judgements of your situation and your marriage hurt you or your wife too much. Everyone is naïve compared to Allah.

          May Allah shower his blessings and comfort on you and your wife.

          Nor

          • Salam Nor,

            Mohamad.n posted here:
            http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/wife-divorced-me-because-of-my-anger/

            He married a girl that seems to have been in love with someone else. It seems her parents pushed her into it. He then got really frustrated with her not acting or wanting to be like a wife to him and she asked for divorce and he gave it to her.

            I guess she was gorgeous and he's mourning her loss. But she was never really his in the first place. Her parents felt they had a good suitor but she wasn't really into him since the beginning.

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