Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How do I change myself?

Takuma Kimura_Tree_YkZkQmI

Please help me, I believe in Allah and in the prophets and angels and all but I don't think I am a muslim anymore...
I don't know where to start but I'm 13 years old and I have never learned namaz
I lie a lot...even about normal things that don't even need to be lied about like when someone asks what I was doing I tell them I came from a walk when really I was just binge eating. Its like a habit and I really want to change. I have been promising Allah that i'll learn namaz from many years but never had I ever acted upon it
I've done haram things....I watched porn many times...and I read porn
but I want to stop, I don't want to ever lie again or watch or read porn ever again
Also I reached puberty when I was like 10 and I don't wear hijab but I actually never knew that its obligatory for a girl to wear hijab after reaching puberty
Should I start a new life as a new person? I know nothing about islam even though everyone in my family is muslim
I want to know everything about the prophets - their stories, I want to learn every surah and hopefully memorize Quran
I want to learn what is haram and what is not
Is listening to music haram?? Some people say it is while others sat it is not as long as there are no bad words in it
And I want to QUIT lying...I mean I have grown SO used to this habit that I don't even realize i'm lying its like i'm lying subconsciously HOW DO I STOP
How do I ask forgiveness from Allah? how will he ever forgive me? I've been planning to change from a long time and i'm frustrated and angry at myself that I don't
I hate myself because I don't deserve any blessing that Allah gave me
I want to beg Allah for forgiveness how do I make taubah? I know that Allah forgives the ones with the biggest of sins...but how will I know that i'm forgiven? should I beg for forgiveness till my last breath? the Holy Prophet(pbuh) even cursed those people who did what I did
I am ashamed of myself
please answer all my questions above


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7 Responses »

  1. For lying, I'll guide you. I typed a big reply but the application crashed and I lost it. I'll type again soon.

  2. Assalaamalykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh
    My dear sister,
    I dont know, if your family try to teach you about islam while you were a child, from borth till the Age of 7, you dont have to do anything, from 7 till pubity or around 14, your parents are obliged to teach ypu about deen and then from there on its your duty to fulfil, now i think you might be missing that 7 to 14 era, i am guessing you were not thought how to pray salah, whats halal, whats haram, whats obligatory of a muslim women/girl in daily life, so i think gor the most part yupr parts havnt paid any attention to you as fir teaching about islam. So the mistakes that youve done they are done in jahiliya.

    So you know Allah swt is all hearing and seeing, he is most mercifull and beneficent, whatever you have done in the past ask firgivness from Allah swt, and you know inshaAllah you be ok,

    Coz Allah swt likes it when one makes a mistake and realiz after what he/she done and come back to Allah and ask for forgiveness truly and not ho back to it, Allah forgives.

    Talking about porn and all them things, in todays society most of people go ghrough that state specailly living in the western countries, now i am not saying its Ok to watch or read about porn, its HARAM, wat im saying is the access to these things are so easy that you just slip and not even realize, but since you have realized, you must stop it, and seek forgivness. Shytan is everywhere and specailly when u r a muslim, shaytan will do his best to put u on a path to hell,

    InshaAllah make the effort to speak the truth, do not lie anymore, promise yourself. If you really want to change you have to stop lieying, theres nonreason for anyone to lie about anything.

    Use your internet for good, learn the arabic alphabets, learn how to pray salah, reading quraan, if you have a religious person in ur family, ask them to help you, and the best time to ask for forgivness, the third quarter of night, so like about 1.5 or 2 hrs before fajr salah, its called thajjud prayers, so you pray 2 rakah everytime, and thats the best time to ask for firgivness, the best time, and Allah likes it when his servent is the sajda ( prostration) position, beat position to ask Allah swt.

    May Allah guide you my lil sister, if theres anything you need help with you can contact me inshaAllah

    Anything good that i said is from Allah swt, anything bad i said is from my own.
    JazakAllah khair

    • And music is haram, only poetry with no bad words is permitted and the only instrument that is permitted is actually called Duff.
      Allah knows the best
      Anything good i say is from Allah swt
      Anything bad is from me

  3. Asalaam alaikum,
    This is a lovely post you wrote here! The main thing is you asked for help. it's very obvious Islam is in your heart and you want to be a good muslim, that's the first step. Having faith and realising we are not perfect, Allah didn't create us perfect, we are meant to make mistakes and we will keep making them our whole lives, we were made as humans not angels 🙂 Yes we should all be asking for forgiveness until our last breath but not in a hopeless way, in a hopeful way...having hope in the mercy of Allah and fear in balance. I would say, start reading and making changes! Remember everyone started from somewhere, not everyone was born into perfect practicing families, think about it, even the sahabas were born as non-muslims and used to drink before Islam, that doesn't mean they lost hope and never bothered. that is shaytaan trying to put you off, 'you can't do it' 'youre not good enough' 'you wont be able to stop' 'youve already done so much sins' 'youre a hipocrite' and so many other examples of bad thoughts he tells the people who try to make good changes. make a positive choice today, start small, you might not be able to stop everything straight away and forever, you will SLIP up here and there, including the porn, porn is an addiction and a slow process as you do more good deeds, salah etc. Allah will help you and protect you from sin, and it slowly becomes easier, in sha Allah. say bismillah and I will make dua for you too!

  4. OP: I lie a lot...even about normal things that don't even need to be lied about like when someone asks what I was doing I tell them I came from a walk when really I was just binge eating. Its like a habit and I really want to change.

    Make a list of things you want to change........start lying on Sunday to begin with or you can choose hours like 6 PM Sunday to 11 PM Monday. See how it can work on it slowly.

    Just before you lie you have a few nanoseconds to make a choice to tell the truth or not to tell the truth.

    Personally when I find out some one is lying to me on small stuff, I loose trust in that person.. I have met people who will lie on drop of a hat and claim they never lie.

  5. WeLcome to the real world ....where humans will be subjected to tests after test until your last breath..If you want a quick fix or have the basic understanding of Deen into practice spend 40 days in tabligh..Go to your local sunni mosque meet the amir and ask I will like to spend some time in the path of Allah....We call this a madressah on wheels...Teaching learning and correcting are amals and intentions....and most of all creating fikr and giving dawat. .

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