IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

In a Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), a comparison is given of the believer and the unbeliever who commits a sin. For the believer, the sin towers over him like a tall building ready to collapse; whereas, for the unbeliever, the sin is like a fly that he slaps away but it keeps coming back. For the believer, the sin committed may not be a grave sin, but he ponders over the crime day and night, regretting it. For the unbeliever, it does not matter whether the sin committed was grave or not, because the sinner does not care of the consequences.

Assalam O Alaikum,

I am 20 years old guy from India; I am doing dentistry 3rd year basically I originate from a Muslim family the way I brought up was very strict everything according to my parents wish only although everything was for my good my happiness was not taken into account. I was always crying to myself that no one is there for me as days passed by I made friends and felt better after matric (O levels)exams were over. I made a new friend(Muslim girl1); we were very close only through phone and e-mail; we had contact then my results was announced. Even though I scored 90% but I was scolded and they changed school as per their wish. After some days; my mom came to know about my friendship; she strictly told me not to talk to her. We distanced from each other as I was unable to study like before; I got only 80% but still it was enough to secure a seat in dental college on merit but they were not ready to have confidence in my marks.

Finally ending up in a dental college in a deemed university in which the cost is higher when compared to a merit seat my friend was more close to other guy they both committed. She entered college; she got close to the people there and she was never close to me again; I was feeling very bad then came a Hindu gal in my life she became very close to me. We went outings too only to public places it was like a relationship never defined we both had love towards each other but never expressed we just maintained our limits as friends. Some people in college didn't like us being close; they blackmailed her they informed her brother and finally all of a sudden she stopped talking to made. I was depressed to the core and I stopped going to college for nearly one and half months. In april 2010 a girl (Muslim girl2) who is classmate of Muslim girl1 proposed me which I accepted the very next day.

I told her how can I trust her she was like I am ready to have sex with you if you want; please trust me and I told her that I trust her and within days we were sharing intimate messages with each other. After some days in call after that we met for the first time in a theatre at the very first time; she kissed me in lips and touched me too I felt embarassed and was shocked if I had selected a correct type of Islamic girl or not but as I had touched her too. I felt bad to ask her again that I had doubts about her character. After some days my friend(Muslim girl1) came to know that I and Muslim gal2 have affair; she told that if she had known this before itself she would have told not to get committed with this girl(Muslim gal2). But it was too late at hat time we had met privately; been intimate but have not had full sex. I thought I should help her change her character rather than leaving her but she became worst but love kept increasing at a point of time we both lost our control and had sex which I regret now.

As days passed by we used to have sex at least every month then I came to know that she had betrayed her close friend so I just hated her to the core because even in my life my friends(both hindu girl and muslim gal1) left me. She came to meet me to ask sorry and even that happened in a private place there she just hugged me aroused me and she made me to be intimate with her. After some days she told that she is pregnant and she aborted too but I was not ready to trust as she had betrayed her friend. I am not sure if at all she got pregnant or not; only Allah knows the truth again she betrayed 1 more guy talked cheap of him to me even though he was good. Finally as days passed; I just started hating her and rejected to love her; I asked her to wear hijab she fought that she can't wear like everything she did was against Islam but she prays 5 times a day. In the mean time I got a new friend(Muslim girl3) who was very good character and a kind nature she became close to me she knew that I am comitted with Muslim girl2.

Finally I told muslim girl2 that we can't b together anymore because we always fightt and neither of us are happy so its better we break up; she too agreed after somedays Muslim girl3(SHE S ONE DAY ELDER TO ME) expressed her views that she likes to marry me she told her mother too. Her mom accepted and told me that if my dad tallks to her dad then this will work out but dad was not ready he told this is not the age for me to talk about marriage. He also said that once I complete my studies and then he will meet the family of the girl who I want to marry. After that I started to pray 5times a day; I was true to her; I told everything about my past to this girl she accepted me she just asked muslim girl2; if she wanted to marry me but she told her NO so muslim girl3 was ready to marry me. She decided to wait till I complete my degree but inshaaAllah I should clear it in time without any arrears as my ex-girl is not ready to marry me.

1- I opted to marry Muslim girl3 but as I had sex with the previous girl(muslim girl2) is it lawfull to marry the present girl(muslim gal3)?

2- If so, will my sin be punished or if I ask for forgiveness will allah sallalahu thala forgive me? Is there anything wrong in Muslim girl3 marrying me despite she knowing everything about my past relationship with muslim girl2?

I heard that qadr cannot be changed but I am very true to my girl now and I don't talk with any other girl now and I am very strong that I should marry her but i dont know if my parents wil agree for that. I just assured my girl that I wil marry her based only on the words of my dad that"AFTER MY DEGREE; HE WILL GET ME MARRIED TO THE GIRL I LOVE" but I don't know how far he will keep his word but usually he do keep his word. The problem is that he has a very good reputation back in native place and my mother is totally against love so I really don't know how far he will accept my love but I trust Allah that  he will help us both. Is there any specific thing to do so that Allah swt forgives the sins I have committed before. I and my girl asked sorry to my ex-girl many times she told that she accepted my sorry but not my gal's sorry she won't forgive her. In that case what does she do now to escape from Allah's punishment? I have heard that the first dua we ask when we see the kaaba for the first time will happen for sure. It means if I perform Hajj or Umrah and when I see kaaba for the first time and I ask dua that I get married to my girl; will it happen or what is to be done if i have to marry my girl?

PLEASE ANSWER FOR ALL MY QUESTIONS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND GUIDE ME WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE TO SEEK ALLAH'S MERCY AND TO GET  MARRIED TO MY GIRL.

SALAMS,

JUBAIR