Stress is eating me alive!
Asalam Alaikum sister's and brother's 🙂
A year a go I came across this site which gave me a lot of ideas, and every morning I check what people post on this site and the great advice that you guys give has helped me a lot.
Back to the reason I'm posting this.
As I mentioned in the title I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere and "Stress is eating me alive".
I was a bright and cheerful girl, and my mom was the best friend I ever had. I shared everything with her, and she wanted me to be independent and achieve my dreams. I had so much to accomplish, but in the early of my high school years my mom suddenly passed away and she left me with broken heart and sore...my life shattered and I totally entered dark world.
My dad had another wife, and my mom and him were divorced right before I was born. He died when I was 11 so I never know what having a dad means.
I left my country and came to our neighboring country. I had no relatives and friends over here, and I didn't get all that I was expecting. Then my uncles who were in the "USA", and whom I never had a relationship with, decided to get me married to my cousin who also lives in the States. They told me that he is nice and he can take me to the states so that I can rebuild my future.
I accepted, but then I found out that we are totally different and can't share a life. He wasn't religious, and then my uncles also told me all his bad sides. I asked why didn't they tell me that but arranged my marriage if they knew who he is, and they said "we wanted him to bring you here". I asked for a divorce, which he did finally. Then they said "there is nothing more we can do you".
So the worst and the darkest days of my life began. I forgot about finishing my studies. I couldn't get shelter and food, so I started working in a small shop in order to survive at the age of 19-so innocent and shy.
I lived like that for almost 3 years almost and lost 15 kg of my weight and totally turned skinny. Every time I saw how people of my age lived, how they were going to University- it made my stress increase. I always had the passion for studying and achieving my dreams, and my mom wanted me to study hard and be who I wanted be but I can't continue my studies and that passion is burning me.
If I wasn't Muslim and didn't have a faithful mother, I would have finished my life but Alhamdullilah whenever I feel I down I go and pray and I feel relief. That is the only time I feel alive; Alhamdullilah Allah was always there for me 🙂
But I'm 22 now, and so scared of marrying now, because my first marriage wasn't as successful as I wanted it to be.
So stress is eating me alive now, and I don't know what to do or where to start. I can't continue living like this because my salary can't even provide me good food, and I am always afraid of commitment...but I'm all alone and need support from a partner.
I have no one to share my problems with and now I don't know what to do.
please consider me as your sister and tell me what to do :'(
-dreamer
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ASSALAMALAIKUM-
SO HAPPY TO KNOW A GOOD MUSLIMA LIKE YOU -YOU MUST BE PROUD AND STRONG WITH THE IMAN YOU HAVE AND THE REAL REAL BOOSTER HABBIT OF Alhamdullilah whenever I feel I down I go and pray and I feel relief. That is the only time I feel alive; Alhamdullilah Allah was always there for me-WHERE ON ERTH PEOPLE HAVE THIS TODAY THIS IS A GREAT TREASURE YOU HAVE AND DEPRESSION CANNOT COME NEAR YOU LEAVE ALONE OVER COME-
YOU WILL BE TRUIMPHANT JUST TURN AND SEE THE LIFE OF HAJIRA WIFE OF PROPHET ABRAHAM-WHO WITH THE SON ISMAIL WAS LEFT IN THE DESERT BY THE ORDERS FROMNALLAH TO FEND FOR HER SELF-WHEN THE ZAM ZAM MIRCALE HAPPENED AND LIFE STARTED AT THE SITE OF MAKKA AND LATER THE KABBA WAS BUILT.
ALLAH MADE MILLIONS TO RUN TO Remember a Mother and Her Trust in Allah
Muslims who perform the Hajj or Umra must run in the middle portion of the distance between Safa and Marwa seven times. Safa and Marwa are two hills close to the Kaba. This is a commemoration of one mother's sacrifice for her son.
That mother was Hajira (may Allah be pleased with her). Her son was the Prophet Ismail (peace be upon him). Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) was Hajira's husband, and Ismail's father.
Hajira's example of sacrifice took place when she and her baby was left in the valley of Makkah by Allah's order as pioneers to start a civilization.
Here was the wife of a Prophet, the princess of the king of Egypt, left with her child in the desert. All for the sake of pleasing our Creator.
As Prophet Ibrahim headed for his next responsibility from Allah, he reached an area where Hajira and Ismail could not see him. At that point, he turned back, raising his hands in Dua and said,
"O Our Lord! I have made of my offspring to dwell in a valley without cultivation by Your Sacred House; in order Our Lord, that they may establish regular Prayer: so fill the hearts of some among men with love towards them, and feed them with fruits, so that they may give thanks." (Quran 14:37).
Hajira returned to her place and started drinking water from the water-skin, and her milk increased for her child.
But when she had used up all of the water, she ascended the Safa hill and looked, hoping to see somebody.
The area was empty.
She came down and then ran up to Marwa hill. She ran to and fro (between the two hills) many times, then went to check on her baby Ismail.
He was dying. And she could find no water for him or herself.
She could not watch her son perish. How could any mother?
'If I go and look, I may find somebody,' she told herself. Then she went and ascended the Safa hill and looked for a long while but could not find anybody.
In all,Hajira ran seven rounds between Safa and Marwa, in the hot, waterless valley, where her thirsty baby lay.
She told herself to go back and check on Ismail. But suddenly she heard a voice: it was the Angel Jibreel.
'Help us if you can offer any help," she said to him.
The angel hit the earth with his heel and water gushed out. Hajira was astonished and started digging. Allah, as she had rightly proclaimed, had not abandoned them.
SO DONT WORRY YOU ARE ONE OF THE CHOSEN BY ALLAH FOR HIS MERCY DESPAIR NOT HIS MERCY PRODLY SAY IAM A MUSLIM THE ONE WHO SUBMITTED TO THE LORD OF THE WORLDS -LLAH-]IF POSSIBLE LIKE THIS PAGE I MADE FOR SOLACE FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU-
https://www.facebook.com/BLISSOFREMARRIAGE?ref=hl
DEAR MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER! I SWEAR YOU'RE COMMENT WAS A BLESSING FROM ALLAH!
LATLEY I HAVE BEEN SO UNGRATEFUL ABOUT EDUCATION, I FEEL SO STUPID IN SCHOOL, I TREAT MY MOM HORRIBLY, AND ALLAH HAS BLESSED ME WITH SO MUCH YET I AM STILL SO UNGRATEFUL, AND STRESSED OUT ABOUT MY LIFE.
THEN YOU'RE COMMENT CAME, AND I SWEAR I FEEL LIKE ALLAH JUST OPENED MY EYES. HOW DARE I COMPLAIN ABOUT MY LIFE WHEN SOMEONE SUCH AS YOU HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH YET STILL REMAINS SO HUMBLE, KIND, AND DOWN TO EARTH!?
YOU ARE EXACTLY THE TYPE OF PEOPLE ALLAH LOVES MOST. ONES WHO TURN TO HIM FOR EVERYTHING, AND FIND RELEIF IN HIS REMEMBERANCE.
SISTER, I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY BUT CONTINUE YOUR PRAYERS TO ALLAH, AND SEEK THE BEST IN HIM. FOR SURLEY, AFTER HARDSHIP COMES EASE.
YOU HAVE OPENED MY EYES. I HAVE BEEN SO STRESSED OUT ABOUT THE LITTLEST THINGS, AND HERE YOU ARE, HAVING GONE THROUGH SO MUCH YET YOU STILL PRAY AND REMAIN A GOOD MUSLIM FOR YOUR MOM.
PLEASE SISTER, DON'T GIVE UP. INSHALLAH, ALLAH IS GOING TO REWARD YOU BOTH IN THIS DUNIYA AND THE NEXT.
MAY ALLAH GIVE YOU AND YOUR PARENTS THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF JANNAH, PROTECT YOU, FEED YOU, EDUCATE YOU, GUIDE YOU, AND GIVE YOU THE BEST IN THIS WORLD AND THE NEXT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHOWING ME WHAT A TRUE BELEIVER REALLY IS. THANK YOU.
LOVE,
YOUR SISTER HOORIA
Dear Sister,
Reading your story, my eyes got moist, i felt like raising my hands if i could hug you.
Oh my dear sister. you have been to a lot. how hard it would have been for you , i can understand.I commend you for not giving up hopes.
you must remind yourself that our beloved prophet (pbhh) was an orphan. His father had died before he was born and his mother died while he was still very young. This will give you strength and encouragement.
feeling down and dull will not give you anything in return. you have to keep yourself strong in order to survive. So do not let any negative thought or people come near to you.
About studies, is it possible to pursue the same through correspondence mode, if this facility is available in your country? If yes, you can work as well study. with this, you will upgrade yourself and will fulfill dreams of your mother.
i am sure you must have been a bright student, you can also check for the possibility of scholarship in an university.
you can also visit to your local mosque/Islamic center, they might help you with something- job/education/ accommodation, even for marriage. Though at present, i would advise you to first get over your negativity and become a positive person and then carefully decide about marriage because you are still pretty young and in absence of any support, it will be difficult for you to find a right person atleast as of now. and i dont wish you to mistake in it as marriage is a big thing. so right now, focus on improving yourself- your health, your education etc.
i can give my example (though i have family alhamdulillah) but but they are emotionally not available as such. therefore, its like i am to live life at my own. i had never thought that i would work but i am working to be self independent. i have to take care of myself especially from health point of view. I don't have any friends nor relatives as such with whom i can share my feelings or emotions but i am still going, then why cant you?
Have a belief that t Allah Alone is Sufficient for me
just keep going, insha-allah soon things will turn positive for you. just keep going.
Assalamu Alaykum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa- Barakatuhu,
My Dear Respected Sister in Islam,
I always search for good replies in this website, Which will be useful for me also, Out of what I search, you are also one among them.
Well said, MashaAllah
May ALLAH forgive all of us and Guide us to the straight path. Ameen!
Fee Amanillah
Walekum Salam Dear Sister Akhila
Thank you for your kind words.
As Muslims, it is our duty to guide & help each other, simultaneously, spread the teachings of Islam.
I just try to do that.
Your Sister.
Walaykum assalaam wr wb Ya Ukthi,
SubhanAllah!! after readyin you story tears started flowing into my eyes. You have been patient and humble, and surely patience is very beautiful (Fa sabrun jameel) and also Verily Allah is with those who are patient(In Allah ma'a suaabireen).
May Allah give you ease and whatever is better for you and jannath in here after..ameen
Reason i am replying to your post is, you are in a very young age of your life and people can easily take advantage of you. So please avoid unnecessary interaction with non mahram, please don't let shaytan take over you. Do not disclose your pains to any stranger, it should be open to nly your Rab and closed ones. Don't try to find guys by yourself but take the right channel. Contact an imam or so who knows a good brother from the community. Even arrange marriage can be risky like you had earlier but be thorough in back ground check of the guy and then move on. Please don't rush in to this marriage process, try to keep yourself busy with islamic history, your hobbies and etc. Don't let shaytan take over you and do excessive dua for yourself and your Ummah.
jazakAllah,
Salaam sister.NO POST has touched my heart like this one.When I read your post, I just bawled like a baby.Seriously there are people like me,whining and panicking and being depressed over things that are not even issues.And then there are people like you, who have been through so much all alone, and their faith in Allah never wavers.You truly shame me sister.I hope, if I ever get to Jannat, I get to touch your feet there.You are special and an inspiration to us all.I will pray for you in every namaz and pray that you get a better job, your financial and health issues improve and you can fulfill your mother's dream of getting a good education asap, and that you get married to a wonderful brother who appreciates what a diamond you are.Ameen.
Salam sister , I tell you that you are not alone Allah is with you. He will guide you and cover you from trouble. Don't worry have faith in The Lord almighty he is real so real. I would like to let you know that you should first find your true self and become an independent successful women on your own. Do not marry for money there will be no blessings and your memories with your children will be taken to a different level and might turn materialistic. Don't marry if you are not ready god is with you. Your mother was a successful woman be proud and do as she would keep pushing forward. But please do not stop your heart from being able to feel love. Love is so beautiful and then everything should work out. There are many ways you can live alright , if you have a visa apply for medical go to churches or mosqs for food and clothing save up money and get a car also there are a lot of programs the government offers to help you do me a favor and go to school there are grants or petitions you can get to go to college for free and they offer plans to help you get through school e.o.p.s also helps for your supplies and stuff listen give it a try the most they can do is say no be strong and don't let the first no discourage you. Or any keep looking for ways to be successful u will find them and if you don't have papers do this anyways hopefully you'll find a good soul to direct you get to know who you truly are first before any relationship listen feel free to email me maybe I can help maybe not in much but we can start with therapy nd help you find resources my email is or also both of them work take care be strong and love every instant of your life and the world specially Allah
-Selene